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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

So perhaps we should be breastfeeding for 7 years?

192 replies

ThomasTankEngine · 06/08/2007 21:06

See here

OP posts:
CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 06/08/2007 22:28

i would never normally judge anyones choices but i really do find the ideas of bf a 7 year old very odd. Each to thier own I guess

lesson learned

pinkspottywellies · 06/08/2007 22:29

Before I had dd I thought I would do it for a year then stop. Now I think why would you stop? If she's still happy breastfeeding and it's still good for her then what reason is 'because she's a year old' to stop? She's only 9 months so we'll see how it goes...

hunkermunker · 06/08/2007 22:32

Don't know why I wrote that she was dead, really.

I was going to make some inappropriate comment afterwards...but I resisted.

LOL at Jesus

ChasingSquirrels · 06/08/2007 22:34

"When dd was born I was so relieved to feel well again that I wanted my body back...... I do resent that some bf mums have a dim view of us ff mums and asume that we are selfish. Its just not the case"
Doesn't that post show that you were being selfish (and I have nothing against people being selfish, when it doesn't harm anyone else) as you, in your own words, wanted your body back?
I would happily stop feeding now (18mo) but he doesn't want to, and I am to lazy to try and do bedtime without it!

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 06/08/2007 22:41

Chasingsquirrals

You do not know me.You do not know what kind of pregnancies I have had.So please do not refer to me as selfish. If I was selfish I would have given up even trying to have a child a long time ago because for me its been v v hard.Illness and problems aside I have lost more babies than I care to recall both m/c's and stillborn.

The choice I made not to bf was made for good reasons.Not selfish ones

harpsichordcarrier · 06/08/2007 22:48

seriously chocolate peanut, there is a certain irony about you coming on here and telling us how upset you are (and expecting sympathy?) because you are judged for you feeding choices by "some bf mums" (who? I wonder, certainly no-one this thread and that's for sure) when you have come on here and done exactly that - been rude and insulting and personal and downright judgmental about feeding choices.
not to worry, women who lactate for more than six months have their hearts sucked out

ChasingSquirrels · 06/08/2007 23:03

Whatever the reasons, unless they were for your baby's health they WERE selfish. I am not judging you, I don't care whether you bf or ff and I wouldn't judge you whichever you did as it's upto each woman what she does - but yes, to do something which puts your own needs first is, and always will be, selfish (definition: concerned chiefly with yourself).
I don't understand what is wrong with being selfish - I was selfish when I wanted a child (I was doing it for me, not for the unborn child), I was selfish when I wanted a 2nd child (again for me, not for the 2nd unborn child or anyone else in the family). I am selfish in LOTS and LOTS of ways, but as I said as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, then what is the problem? (and I don't think that in the vast majority of cases ff hurts anyone, so I don't see a problem with it).

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 06/08/2007 23:07

Dont expect any sympathy.I dont think I am alone in thinking bf a 7 year old is odd but I have not refered to any mother as being selfish for wanting to do so. But as my early post said, each to thier own and lesson learned.

I have however learned in the past week or so to stay off any thread where bf is being discussed.I can see how you and others feel about it (note comment on Jordan thread) and really its something I will never understand.

bookwormtailmum · 06/08/2007 23:09

Yikes, 7 years? I stopped bf my dd seven years ago (milk never really got established and dried up). Glad I didn't read any articles like that then - it would have made me feel even more of a failure .

hunkermunker · 06/08/2007 23:11

ChocP, it's not selfish to want to breastfeed a 7yo if the 7yo wants to be breastfed.

kazbeth · 06/08/2007 23:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nappyaddict · 06/08/2007 23:47

i don't know anyone in rl who has breastfed passed 3 years old.

suis · 07/08/2007 00:17

At the risk of having things thrown at me too....

FFS ladies....

Peanut here only said in the first place that she thinks BFing till the age of 7 is odd in her opinion. She didn't say people shouldn't do it, she didn't say they were selfish,she didn't say they were bad people or claim scientific evidence of any harm to the babies. There's no need to have a big go at her for that. I find certain of these posts to be downright nasty and hurtful towards her simply for giving a very common personal opinion which in no way attacked anyone on here.

Personally, I have been bfing for 6 months and had a bloody hard time doing it too. I find it a wonderful thing and I am glad I was bloody minded enough to persist with it. However I have to put my hand up and say that I find the idea of continuing to age 7 a bit odd too.

I don't know how long I'll continue for and I have no problem with extended bfing, I might even go on a while myself but it certainly won't still be going when DS is at school.

However, as ChocolatePeanut said, each to their own, everyone is free to do what they want. As she clearly demonstrates people's reason's for bfing or ffing and when and how they do them are as individual as the people themselves.

For example, instead of extended bfing I may give up soon for the apparently selfish reasons of being in constant pain with being bitten and scratched during feeding, feeling exhausted, drained and depressed all the time, being virtually unable to have any time off from DS and being sick of being the size of a whale with norks bigger than my head and craving sugar and juice all the damn time. For some posts on here that's being selfish because it's all about me and DS wants to go on. I for one feel angry when people put bfing forward as being so natural and easy that everyone should do it. It's hard going a lot of the time. FOr me, it's worth the struggle, but I can see why people choose not to and it's not selfish if you are giving your child a happy mum instead of a mum who is miserable and in pain.

Point is... don't start having a go at someone because they have different opinions and choices. I think most people would think bfing to 7 is odd, so CP was only saying what many people would agree with, me included.

Sorry for the long ranting posts, but I am a huge fan of Mumsnet and I have found so much support and help on here that I don't know what I would have done without it, and I get very riled up when I see people getting into fights about things that are just different points of view. I'll shut up now.

terramum · 07/08/2007 00:28

suis...did you actually read peanuts first post on here?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 07/08/2007 00:29

Suis, no-one has said b/feeding was easy on this thread.

There has, however, been lots of intimation that mothers that feed beyond 6 months are "odd" "selfish" etc.

Since "extended" breastfeeders are in the minority in this country and on this forum, I dont think it is unreasonable to feel got at with regard to this issue, particularly when the "bitty" comments come rolling out, along with "b/feeding through the school gates". It smacks of ignorance, and an unwillingness to understand. I, for one, dont like it, and i wont take it.

I'm fed up of folk making out I am some kind of freak for b/feeding my son beyond 6 months.

By the way, the biting/scratching phase passes. Your boobs wont be huge for much longer either - even if you continue b/feeding. They naturally, and slowly go back to their original size as your child gradually feeds less over time. This is why I didnt haven any engorgement problems when DS self weaned a few weeks ago - he'd been slowing down very gradually over a period of 9 months. Very smooth transition, i suppose.

FrannyandZooey · 07/08/2007 09:05

Funnily enough, those of us who have fed our children past a year or so don't really like hearing it called odd or weird or wrong. How utterly selfish of us.

Roskva · 07/08/2007 09:36

VVV, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and it does not mean that they are ignorant, unwilling to understand or just plain wrong if they disagree with you.

Suis, well said. And good on you for having the sticking power to keep going. I stopped bf at 6 weeks because I had thrush, the pain was blowing my mind, the fact I was dreading feeding her was affecting my ability to relate to my baby, and my GP refused to prescribe the unlicensed anti-fungal that would have allowed me to continue. So, am I selfish not being able to endure pain like shards of glass being pulled through my nipples for hours each day? It was a still a very hard decision to make, I cried for days, and I object to being made to feel, by a small minority of people, like a second class citizen and a bad mother because I give my daughter formula.

I used to know someone who breast fed a 4 year old. From talking about it with her, I got the distinct impression it was more for her benefit than for the child's - the health benefits of extended bf was not mentionned, helping her to relax was. That was her decision, and if it worked for her, that's fine. I just found it odd.

Original poster
ThomasTankEngine · 07/08/2007 09:51

Ouch Roskva! The shards of glass bit really made me wince.
And its a perfect description of how BFing felt for me for the first 2 weeks or so.

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 07/08/2007 10:04

everyone is entitled to their own opinions, yes. but if those opinions are hurtful and wil cause pain to someone else, then if you choose to express them, then you have to expect that there is a reaction.

you "object to being made to feel, by a small minority of people, like a second class citizen and a bad mother because I give my daughter formula".

I object to being made to feel, by a large majority of people, like a weirdo and a freak and odd and a bad mother because I give my daughter breastmilk.

harpsichordcarrier · 07/08/2007 10:12

(actually, to be honest, I don't muh give a shot any more what anyone thinks about me bf the joys of age andoing it for so long. but I know other people do get hurt by it, and this kind of ignorant face pulling, "urgh it's all a bit yucky and odd, just like little britain" can affect women and prevent them from bf or make them stop earlier than thet otherwise would want to. people are affected by your opinions, if you express them.)

Roskva · 07/08/2007 10:45

I had quite a long conversation with the mum I mentioned because I was genuinely interested in why she wanted to continue bf, and she was happy to talk to me (childless at the time) about it, because she welcomed the opportunity to discuss her views.

At one mother and baby group I went to, I was the only one bottle feeding. A couple of mums were looking down their noses at me, so I fully understand what it is like to be in the minority. But I do think I should not have to feel the need to justify why I don't bf, any more than anyone else should feel the need to justify why they do, however old their lo.

terramum · 07/08/2007 10:46

I don't particularly care what other people think about DS still bfing either....I have no qualms about feeding him when out & about, despite him looking more like a 4 yr old than a 3 year old because he is so tall & vocal. If anything I feel quite privileged to have experienced just how fab it is to still be bfing him as most don't get the opportunity to do so.

What I do object to is the idea that bfing an older child is weird/wrong being perpetuated and stated again and again. Threads on forums like these are not the same as having a conversation IRL...the printed word is so much more powerful & influential. Not everyone is as bolshy or confident as me or others on here about bfing & I think people need to bear this in mind when they are writing on message boards such as these. Someone reading these "bitty" & type comments might silently decide to prematurely wean their child because they don't want to be seen as weird or be harassed by strangers/friends....

Fair enough, state you wouldn't be able to bf your own children for that long...but think about how you state it please.

puffylovett · 07/08/2007 11:00

If we're meant to breast feed till 7 yrs old - at which point are we then meant to put them on solids ? Does that then change when they would wean onto finger foods ? Does it throw into question our current system of introducing purees at 6 months ? I'd love to know how many people weaned onto purees purely because they felt they were supposed to, and how many of these people felt their babies weren't really ready yet - especially those that were still bfing...

terramum · 07/08/2007 11:06

puffy why should when solids be introduced matter? I introduced solids at 29 weeks with DS yet he is still breastfeeding at 3 years old...not sure I see the connection tbh...

puffylovett · 07/08/2007 11:55

just a question out of interest - if theyre supposed to breast feed for longer, could that mean that we're introducing solids too early ? obviusly every baby is different and some are ready earlier than others, but if the article is stating that humans are designed to drink bresat milk for longer, i just wondered if that suggester we should be introducing solids later