Is it too late for him to latch on!!

[twoplusone]

My ds is 13days old I have been trying since birth to get him to latch on. Mw have tried also, he will go on for a couple of seconds then just screeams. I have been expressing for him, but as we have been out and about over the last few days, I havent been able to express for every feed, so need to replenish my mil supply. I know I can do this by expressing more often.. ( I think.. am hoping!!)

Can anyone give me some advice.. is it too late for him to latch now as he has been having the bottle...
He is DC no3 The other two wouldnt latch on either so I expressed for them also.. but alas only managed a couple of weeks with both..

When dh returns back to work in 2weeks it will be harder to express as well as run around after toddler and newborn.. (DD is nearly 11)

I just feel such a failure and cant understand why none of my children will latch on..

If you haven't already can you see a bf counsellor face to face? Does your maternity hospital have a midwife who specialises in bf? Or try one of the helplines such as La Leche League or NCT and see what help is available there.

I have read lots of stories on here from mnetters whose dcs wouldn't latch on at first but did eventually - some as late as 8 weeks or older so all is not lost!!! I know that expressing does take it's toll though

You're not a failure Twoplusone. Don't say that.

I think you need to talk to a bf counsellor.
Try ssoc. for Breastfeeding Mothers' helpline in the morning.

0870 401 7711

Have you tried nipple shilds?
Similar feel to a bottle.

Also have you tried feeding babe from a cup?

It's not too late. But you do need more help.

Have you tried the Breastfeeding Network or NCT?

I am in Germany so not sure about how much help ia available other than mw and dont really want to put them put as they have enough with all the pg women etc... (on a forces camp)

I am at the hv tomorrow so will be asking her too..

I will just have to jkeep trying, but the poor little mite gets sooo upset everytime we try..
When expressing, I was getting 3-4 oz from each boob withoin 10 mins, so had plenty of milk.. I am now getting 1.5-2oz from each boob..

he has done well so far and has already gained (on day 9 he had gained 8oz in weight)

I have tried nipple shields, he tries and does it for about 30secs then moves his head and shield moves so he screams..

Will try and see if I can use that number in the morning..
Thank you.x

My DD had problems latching on and she had started on tube-feeding and then bottles while in NICU. I phoned LLL and went to a few BF sessions at a local clinic. She was asleep through them all so I couldn't get specific advice but I got the reassurance that the positioning was right and gradually, as she became more awake and I became more confident (e.g. that it's OK if she only has a few suckles now and again) we established full breastfeeding. DS hadn't latched on properly either, screaming etc, so I gave up with him v early on. I really think the difference this time was reassurance. I think she was about 5-6 weeks old before we stopped the bottles altogether. Good luck, please get in touch with a BF counsellor, it's not too late.

I wouldn't trust the HV.
They generally know fuck all.
Can't you access German health care?

You need to be pumping a lot to keep up supply but weight gain is terrrifci.

Cant access the germany health care for things like this. He was born in a german hospital.. but oce youleave then that is that. i did discharge myself the day he was born as tbh I really didnt want to stay there, I just wanted to be in my own home with my other children and dh.. They do things differently over here.. like no baths for 6weeks after delivery etc.. i was even given an internal 5 hrs after the birth!!!!
So I shot myself in the foot there really by coming home, had one session with the bf counseler there.

Just thought Germans might be quite hot on this stuff (or is this me making vague Northern European/Scandinavia assumptions???)

There may be an organistaion you could ring for help surely??? Or baby drop-in place?
Noone is goin to turn a woman with a newborn away eh?!

You are definitely NOT a failure. I've been there & its hell isn't it . It must be exhausting with other children to deal with as well so well done for sticking with it.

It may take some work...but with the right support and information from breastfeeding experts it is very possible to get your son breastfeeding. My DS finally fed from me at about 1.5 months old...we used shields to do it as he had got so used to the silicone feel of the bottle by then...we used them for about 3 months before he would take them au naturel & he is still bfing now at 3 years old

Please ring one of the national helplines to get some expert help & support as it sounds like your mw hasn't given you any suggestions. All the women who man these helplines are volunteer mums who have bf & had extensive training in helping mums.

National Childbirth Trust: 0870 444 8708 (8am-10pm)
La Leche League: 020 7242 1278 (24 hours)
Breastfeeding Network: 0870 900 8787 (9.30am-9.30pm)
Association of Breastfeeding Mothers: 0870 401 7711

Or you could try seeing if you have an LLL leader local to you:
www.laleche.org.uk/pages/groups/county_list.htm

In the meantime while your DH is home get him to do everything....& I mean everything so you can concentrate as much as you can on feeding your new little one. To keep my supply up I expressed after every feed DS had...it was a slog...especially at night...but it seemed to work as I never had supply problems & it meant if I did need to go out & couldn't find somewhere convenient to express I had a bit of a store in the fridge to use instead.

I would say don't actively try to get him to latch on - he sounds like he's a bit stressed out by that.

What you can do is lots of skin to skin - take your top off, lie with him next to you or on you, in just a nappy. Let him mouth you, let him smell you, let him touch you.

It might be he latches on spontaneously - like here

He's not too old to do this.

You can also try bathing together - just make sure someone's there to hand you the baby and take him from you as well - they're slippery little blighters!

Keep up the expressing as well, while he's learning about how to feed. And keep posting!

oops just read you are in germany...LLL have various branches over there:

www.lalecheliga.de/index.htm

This is an army information thing that mentions La Leche League Germany as being a resource you can access through one of the Army midwives. I don't know if it's your base but it would be worth phoning her anyway?

How are you today, twoplusone?

twoplusone - I know exactly the position you are in. I am currently expressing breastmilk for my second child who is 5 weeks. I have not been able to get her latched on and I had similar problems with my ds. I've had a midwife and a bf counsellor try but we've not had any real success. I suspect we've probably reached a point where she is now rather used to bottles so I'm unlikely to succeed. At the moment I've got into a routine of expressing using an electric dual pump. Its not ideal and I'm not sure how long I will do it for but its working for us at the moment. If you are going to express long term I can recommend the Medela Lactina pump.

In my view no, since there are cases of women beginning breastfeeding weeks or months into their child's life. Even adopting mothers have breastfed their adopted baby. I recommend contacting a La Leche League or NCT breastfeeding counsellor- they should definitely be able to help.

You may have to persevere with it enough to make him hungry enough to want to try getting milk from you rather than the easier expressed version...

Just read that you are in Germany. There should be a LLL in Germany. As I understand it, they are worldwide. Also, I perceive that Germany may be more enlightened re breastfeeding, so it may be worth seeking help off-base.

I used nipple shields with both of mine. DD never latched on but I fed her for 8 months. DS latched on at 4 months and from then on bf till 14 months with no problems.

I expressed for both mine. DS finally latched on (with nipple shields) at 3m, and ditched the shields at 5m. DD finally latched on at about 5w, again with nipple shields, and ditched them when she was 3m.

So it is NOT too late - just keep trying, and it will happen. My advice would be to try nipple shields again, and make sure you wet the underside so they stay put. Some are made with quite a long surround strip so you can keep a finger on either side of the nipple bit. Don't get discouraged by a refusal; just try again another time.

The EBM you have been giving your baby has provided a wonderful start - well worth doing. Well done xxx

I really agree with hunkermunker. Is it possible for you to get some time to spend with your DS, just the two of you together, or is it too difficult with the other two? If this is possible, I would think of it as together time, and not stress too much about whether he is latching on or not. If your aim is to spend some snuggly time with your lovely new DS, rather than stressing about feeding him, you can't possibly fail and achieving a better latch is a bonus.

Have you tried the "breast crawl"? There are some threads on it here. Basically strip both you and your DS down to knickers and nappy and lay on the bed with lots of pillows and a blanket (or a warm room) place DS on his tummy on or below your chest and he should pull himself up and root around and find your breast and latch himself on.

I did this with DD at 3 weeks as we were struggling with the latch. It's amazing to watch, but also a bit sad as it seems like such hard work for them just to get their dinner! DD had a bit of a whinge about it as she was doing it, but latched on perfectly. I had to support her in the crock of my arm but she latch on, fed, bought up her own wind then fell asleep sprawled over my breast. You need to give yourself sometime, try and do it when the other DC's are in bed.

Check out this website too. I thing tiktok showed me this link when I was struggling.

Twoplusone - sounds like you're doing amazingly! I am no expert - there are plenty of them on here to help you though - but the best piece of advice I was given was Hunker's. DD, who was jaundiced and very sleepy to begin with, didn't latch on properly for about 2 weeks and I was also expressing and topping up with formula. I rang the NCT helpline and they gave me the same advice as Hunker is giving you. We spent a whole day in bed together naked and she did eventually put herself on. Incredible to watch. I found that by actively trying to latch her on I created a stressful situation for both of us - I'm sure she picked up on my anxiety and that didn't help. In the end she was exclusively breastfeed until about 7 months when I had to go back to work. Good luck and please don't think for a second that you are failure!

Hi twoplusone. Sorry you are struggling, please don't feel you are being a bother to the Midwives, I know they are busy but would rather help if they can.

Are you on a large base? If so you should have support networks in place you maybe don't know about them. Get your DH to speak to the families officer about what is available either on base where you are or on another base nearby.

You may find that there are ABM/LLL councellors amongst the other Women, you just need to find them! Perhaps you can have a word with the RSMs wife if she is friendly, they tend to know most people and if not should be able to descretely ask around on your behalf. Or do they still have WRVS around?

(been a few years since we were over there so I may be out of touch a bit)

HTH

Hi,

It took me 3 weeks to get my DS to latch on. I expressed and used formula during that time.

I would try every day to get him to latch on but he would yell when I tried and would only do it for a couple of seconds then come off screaming again. He used to pull the nipple shields off. Breast feeding counsellours suggestions didn't help us. Once he did it for a few sucks after 3 weeks and I realised he did know what to do and became a very stubborn mummy and we kept at it until he decided it wasn't so bad after all!

We stopped at 3 months as he went off it again aa it was getting a bit stressful fighting it all the time.

Good luck, hope it works out in the end. And if it doesn't its not the end of the world. I caused myself a lot of stress trying to do it and it made the first few weeks miserable. Looking back I wish I had been a bit easier on myself.