Is it too late for him to latch on!!

[twoplusone]

My ds is 13days old I have been trying since birth to get him to latch on. Mw have tried also, he will go on for a couple of seconds then just screeams. I have been expressing for him, but as we have been out and about over the last few days, I havent been able to express for every feed, so need to replenish my mil supply. I know I can do this by expressing more often.. ( I think.. am hoping!!)

Can anyone give me some advice.. is it too late for him to latch now as he has been having the bottle...
He is DC no3 The other two wouldnt latch on either so I expressed for them also.. but alas only managed a couple of weeks with both..

When dh returns back to work in 2weeks it will be harder to express as well as run around after toddler and newborn.. (DD is nearly 11)

I just feel such a failure and cant understand why none of my children will latch on..

[MrsRecycle]

have you tried taking the teat from one of the bottles and creating a vacuum over your nipple and letting him try and feed from this. Not recommended by bf cousellors but it worked for me and dd2 who then moved from the teat to a shield and then to a perfect latch on.

[chipmonkey]

A girl on another site I visit in Ireland got her baby to latch on after 9 weeks. So definitely possible.

[dazedandconfunded]

Try getting both of you into the bath to latch on - a version of the breast crawl, I think - and recommended to me by a bf counsellor.

[MariaVonTrapp]

Try not to worry. It took my dd almost 8 weeks before she had a 'proper' feed. I had MW, HV, La Leche League phone advice and home visits from NCT BF counsellor - I also hired an independent MW for advice! But none of it made any difference - she latched on properly when she was ready and big enough (she had a TINY mouth, wasn't until she was slightly bigger that we 'cracked it'.)

Sometimes they'll cry because the milk isn't coming through quickly enough (as it does when you give a bottle). The more you get anxious about it, the longer it takes for the milk to let down.

So try not to worry, if you want to BF then stick with it, offer the breast first at every feed. Playtex do a bag-in-a-bottle system with a teat which is more 'nipple like' (actual nipple size) which were good (I got mine off Ebay).

[peachygirl]

It took us 3 weeks to get going properly and seeing a BF counsellor turned us round. Lots of luck

[determination]

Have you tried expressing until your milk starts to "letdown" then put the nipple shield on for him to latch? This way the milk is there ready for him and there is no need for him to work for it....

[leo1978]

My baby took ages to latch on properly - partly because of my small, flat nipples I suspect and his tongue tie. He had a bottle of expressed milk for the first 5 days and then my midwife suggested I cup feed him - which I did for about 2 weeks I think - with one or two 'feeds' being from the breast. Eventually we both got the hang of it - but only on one breast! After about 4 weeks of one breasted feeding I got some nipple shields for the 'bad' breast and fed using them. Not sure why I didn;t do this earlier now as it's fine. It's so hard and there's so much conflicting advice. He's 8 weeks now and takes a bottle, dummy, breast with or without nipple shield and has no confusion.
Good Luck
x

[jaqnic]

hope it is getting better.

I had a lot of problems with latching on, but the problem was different as it was because I have inverted nipples - but one thing i found really helpful was to feed the baby some expressed mile from a bottle so they weren't so angry and desperate, and then try the breast and drizzle some expressed milk on your breast so the baby gets something for their efforts.

but I found that no amount of books, websites etc beats face-to-face time with a calming breastfeeding expert who has the time and creative resources to help your particular situation

good luck - it took my dd 2 months before she was able to latch on directly to my breast (I used a mix of nipple shields and expressed milk in bottles)

[foxcub]

twoplusone

Just wanted to send [massive hugs] as you are doing really well expressing for your baby .

I can't really help apart from to say that my DS2 took about three weeks to learn how to latch on. Have you tried sitting in a quiet room with him, with no top/him in just nappy and lots of skin to skin contact for a day or two. I know its hard if you have other children to look after but that's what worked with my DS2. We both had to be really relaxed and skin to skin. I let him crawl up to the breast too so he could find it in his own way (as suggested above)

Good luck

xxx

[knickerelasticjones]

Hi twoplusone - I'm a newbie to mn and have never really posted before but really wanted to reply as your situation sounds SOOOO similar to what happened after my DD was born (she's now 2.5).

She wouldn't latch on no matter what I did. I spoke to breastfeeding counsellors galore and none of them could help (a counsellor from one of the MAJOR organisations, who will remain nameless just gave me a weak smile and said "just persevere". Ha!)

by the time she was 3 weeks I think she was so stressed out that the whole idea of feeding was just horrible for her. Every time we tried she would suck for about 3 secs then break off and scream. And this could go on for and hour and a half - leaving both me and he emotionally and physically exhausted.

After 4 weeks (during which time she had gained no weight at all) I finally bought a breast pump and gave her a single bottle of formula. HAving a bottle (either ebm or formula) immediately calmed her down and it was only AFTER I started bottle feeding that she actually learnt to breast feed. I think giving her a bottle meant that she was no longer starving and stopped associated feeding with getting all stressed out. By the time she was six or seven weeks she had started to get the hang of it. By two months she was pretty much ok.

She never got really good at breastfeeding though. I was NEVER able to feed her in public as she would only feed if I was pretty much topless and she liked to make plenty of slurping sounds. But was about 75% breastfed with the occasional bottle when out and about until she was 10 months old (when she decided to stop bfing of her own accord).

So PLEASE don't despair. You are obviously doing your absolute best and there may well be plenty of time for your wee one to sort it all out. Also, whatever happens you have given your DS breastmilk for the first two weeks of his life which is great start anyway you look at it.

Good luck!

[sportybird]

Hi twoplusone,
I can only give you my limited experience but it may help you...Ella was born early and in SCBU for 4 weeks where she was tube fed and bottle fed expressed milk. We tried desperately to get her to breastfeed and eventually tried the shields as we wanted to take her home. It took a lot of perseverence (literally felt like I was attempting to feed her all day and LOTS of tears), but she eventually took to the shields. We tried to wean her off but there was no way she would take the breast. They were great for about 2.5 months. We also introduced one bottle at night of expressed milk. As her milk demands went up the nipple shields failed...she couldn't suck hard enough to get enough out and eventually we went onto expressing. I expressed for a further 3 months and Ella was fed solely on breastmilk for over 5 months. I'm really proud that I did this but looking back it was desperately hard and now she is 7.5 months and when she has milk it is formula and I have no problems with that and sometimes think that I missed out on some of the early fun with her because we were so set on getting breastmilk into her.

SOOOO: I found that.....

• shields work for a limited time (though longer than HV suggested
  
• if you introduce too many bottles in a day before breastfeeding is established, babies aren't daft and will seek the easy option eventually
  
• expressing is desperately hard work and you can miss out on some of the good stuff if you get too obsessed!
  
• It is OK to formula feed... though I know totally understand your need to try breastmilk
  
  Whatever you choose to do, I'm sure will be great and your little one will thrive.
  
  Best of luck
  Annaxxx

[sass69]

It sounds like you may have an abundance of milk. I also had problems with breastfeeding. My daughter latched on but it hurt like hell and I was sure it was wrong despite the fact that everyone said she was latched on properly. Only after about 4 months did a bf specialist tell me that it was due to my milk supply that she wasn't latched on properly. Your baby might be overwhelmed by the milk and therefore reject the nipple. The abundance of milk does mean weight gain is ok but in order to solve your problem you may want to express a bit so that your breast is not too full, perhaps even give a bit of expressed milk before you try the breast again. Good luck - I had a miserable 4 months but am very glad I persevered.

[pinkyminky]

this post really caught my eye. I could not get my DS to latch on. My nipples would stand to attention briefly and then sort of deflate! Ds would start off the feed ok then slide off, causing me lots of pain and him lots of frustration. We both got so stressed at the idea of feeding I needed to abandon it for a while.
When I got home I expressed every two hours for a week until I was almost two days ahead of him with milk, then gradually dropped down to every three then four hours.
I couldn't get on with nipple shields for some reason, though I do know they have worked for lots of people.
between 3 and four months, when he could really hold his head and I was relaxed and not really expecting miracles, DS just latched on a fed really happily.
I fed him myself until he was 9 months old, with one bottle at night (formula once my freezer supplies of ebm had run out :I did not express any more once he had latched on, I'd really had enough).
I know the rule about bottles spoiling baby for breast, but honestly this is what happened. I did keep him on the slowest teat the whole time, and took baths with him,lots of skin to skin cuddles, I wore him in a sling lots, and he never stopped 'rooting' on me. We had lot's of little attempts in between but I really didn't push it.
Maybe he latched on when a) he was not starving because he knew he would get milk somehow at some point and
b) I was not in that awful perspiring stressed state trying to feed my baby
I don't honestly know.

This may or may not happen for you, but in my view you have given your baby the best you can for two weeks. I was worried this might happen to me again, and I would have struggled with all the expressing for a new baby with an 18 month old to look after as well, so don't forget you have your own sanity to consider too!)
Don't let anyone physically help latch him on- it was guaranteed to drive my ds mad!
Have you tried the funny underarm newbaby position? It worked a dream with my second child.
Don't know if this helps, but I just wanted to share my story with you to say I really know how you feel and you are FAB.

[vbacqueen]

Hi
My 2nd baby was 7 weeks old before I managed to get her to latch on and from that moment on she never looked back and carried on feeding till she was nearly two. No matter how much I tried when she was first born, she just couldn't seem able to latch properly. Nipple shields didn't do the trick but an old midwife in the hospital suggested I try an old-fashioned brown rubber teat instead. It was like a miracle! I still had to express and give that as well for a while, but every couple of days I would try without to no avail. And then eventually, as soon as she was sucking steadily, I slipped the teat off and she latched on! I was gobsmacked. I was almost on the verge of giving up but from that time onwards I never had trouble again. Could be worth a try as it gets them used to feeding from you rather than a bottle but is as easy for them to do.

[dinkyboysmum]

i had similar problems with ds, born 6 weeks premature &in SCBU for 2 weeks. whilst in SCBU i expressed religiously every 3 hrs and he was fed thru nose tube then bottle. when we came home i just couldnt keep it up. managed pumping for further 4 weeks, till ds was 4wks. ds never latched on& it upset me to see him getting frustrated with me trying to get him on. i felt such a failure. nipples were so sore & bleeding from vigorous pumping, even on minimum suction. i dreaded it and spent days in tears. all that on top of having to get my head around ds arriving so early. it was not the start we'd planned.

but now, when i look back it jusy wasnt working for either of us. i totally appreciate breastmilk is best, but when it puts so much stress on you and affects your bonding and attitude towards your newborn, i really feel it was the best decision for us at that time. i'm still pro-beastfeeding and hope desperatly that when dc2 arrives, its will 'work'.

i have such admiration for those pumping mums out there...keep it up!

[Pingis]

Took about 6 weeks before ds would latch and feed without it being horrendously painful and distressing. In our case the cause was that he was born with a small jaw (micrognathia), and things improved when a mw researched this and suggested feeding in the 'rugby ball' position (ie baby under your right arm when feeding on right breast). This seemed to help (probably also as my nipples are a bit 'east-west'!!). Had plenty of milk, so sometimes was too engorged, and also very rapid let-down reflex which I think put him off, expressing a little before feeding helped this. Also had cracked ulcerated nipples which eventually healed by combination of alternating position and expressing then cup or bottle feeding. Tried nipple shields - no good with him, but helped relieve pain between feeds by doing a dodgy Madonna impersonation!
My heart really goes out to you - it is so distressing - I only got through it by being pathologically stubborn. We went on to bf for nearly 3 years and I am SO glad I persevered - it was worth every agonising moment in the long run. In the mean time, by expressing you are giving him the best you possibly can right now, and you should be proud of yourself. Good luck and big hugs to you XX

[NK3e3902d8X1109cb7ebe6]

My son wouldn't latch on because I had a 48 hour labour ending in an emergency C/S and he didn't breast feed immediately I spent 6 weeks asking for help from the midwives, peer support group and breast feeding counsellor at the clinic who all gave me bad advice because they didn't have the appropriate skills. I finally saw a private breast feeding counsellor, and was taught a training technique. He learnt how to latch and I beast fed him till he was 7 months old. I had to combine feed him but for the 1st 5months , he got between 70-90% breast. Combined feeding is definately worthwhile because although not as good as exclusinve bf, the advantages that it has still hold for combined feeding - it's definately not too late for you but as with all the previous advice , please see a bf conseelor asap

[NK3e3902d8X1109cb7ebe6]

Forgot a really important point - I finger fed him when not bf him which meant he didn't lose the ability to suck which can happen with giving the bottle to babies who have difficulty latching

[missmillie]

Hi have you heard of re-birthing? It's when you simulate birth, usually in the bath with a conducive atmosphere...it can work wonders. Also the breast crawl is very effective but you need tons of time and patience-again, the environment must be right for you both. Loads and loads of long skin to skin cuddles and baths together. hang in there!

[spannerround]

Dear Twoplusone

I had the same thing. I found it really stressful. The thing that worked for us was lots of skin to skin contact. Time in bed together to let ds discover my breasts and the latching for himself.

My ds got really stressed when the mw tryed to make him do it.

Sounds like you are running around alot at the moment. I would second what has already been said about letting dh do everything while he is around. This might need lots of unpressured time. Don't worry about offending family and friends who want to visit - my mistake while unable to bf - put them off, if they care they will understand. Its a vulnerable time and you might need privacy. You and ds making this work is much more important. I found bf councilors really helpful too.

I'm still bf at 16 months. All the best. xx

[rmadley]

After several days of expressing and feeding him expressed milk through a syringe I ended up using nipple shields for the entire 5 months that I breast fed my son - he was always unable to latch on to me without them. Not an ideal situation - but the way I saw it was at least he was getting breast milk.

[hunkermunker]

How's it going, Twoplusone?

[finefatmama]

It took me 7-8 weeks of trying several times a day. and one day in the car, he just latched on for an hour. and i mixed fed for 7 months.

[Brennie]

Really hope things are working our for you whatever you decided to do, twoplusone.
I had a prob feeding my firstborn as flat nipples made it v difficult for latching. I didn't even know they were flat!
We did manage by expressing and also wearing breast sheilds to capture any milk when we were out and about. It was a v difficult and soul destroying time tho and I would probably have given up trying if my husband had not been around to help.
I lost confidence in my ability to do it right and some days went by when I did not even try to breastfeed but eventually succeeded after much assistance from breast feeding counsellors and also a lactation consultant...