Breast vs Bottle

[elishacatt]

Hi all - I'm not sure what I'm really looking for here, advice I guess.
My baby is 6 weeks old and I'm exclusively breastfeeding her. I do enjoy it and the closeness that we have by doing it, but I wonder would things be easier if she was formula fed.
I don't have a partner so I am literally doing everything alone. I'm not struggling with any part of being a single parent, nor am I struggling breastfeeding, but for some reason a voice keeps popping in to my head telling me to go to bottle. I've tried pumping but if I'm honest, couldn't get on with it. I expressed an ounce each time. Should I just give it longer? Baby took to the bottle okay and drinks the ounce.
I'm also a little nervous about giving up breast because of the discomfort it's going to cause.
I have complete mum guilt and feel torn with what to do.
Any one else know this feeling and can offer me some advise?

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Most babies in the UK are formula fed by 6 weeks, either in part or fully. If you want to swap to formula then you can, just don't stop abruptly if you can avoid it, as it risks mastitis.

Regarding sleep, the Durham Infant Sleep project has useful research based information about normal infant sleep and the differences between feeding methods.

[Rumpledfaceskin]

most babies in the U.K. are formula fed by 6 weeks, either in part or fully
yes but that’s not a reason to switch to formula if the OP is trying to weight up the benefits of each

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Just pointing it out so that there is no need to feel guilty or as if it's somehow not normal. Not suggesting it's a reason to change.

[Tmgc123]

Personally because most people do something doesn’t mean I want to... often means I don’t want to.

The reason for people to not feel guilty is when they have no choice, the 2% of women who Cannot BF shouldn’t be made to feel bad. But that doesn’t mean you should choose to FF.

[tiktok]

TableShack - no, there are not hundreds of peer reviewed papers showing ff babies sleep better. What utter nonsense.

The evidence is contradictory. This is because the same questions are not asked every time. Definitions of 'sleeping' and 'waking' are different. Length of a night is different. Some mothers don't even notice if true babies wake because they settle back very quickly. If a baby 'wakes' at 3 am and 'settles' within two mins because he is put on the breast and the mother immediately falls asleep, and another wakes at 3 am and needs a bottle and an hour to settle afterwards....they may both go down in a study as 'wakes once'. Most studies are not nuanced enough to capture this. The opposite might happen - the ff baby glugs his bottle and goes back to sleep within 10 mins, and the BF baby goes on and off and on and off over two hours. Both babies 'wake once' with no subtlety in the data collection.

[tiktok]

True = their

[AssassinatedBeauty]

@Tmgc123 you seem to be implying that it's ok to make women who choose to formula feed feel guilty, and that only those who are physically unable to breastfeed (the 2%) are exempt from this?

[TableShack]

@tiktok - Did you read the link that references the studies?

Don't play dumb.

[cowatthegate]

@Tmgc123 what health risks are there to mothers who ff?!

[Tmgc123]

@cowatthegate:

“Health outcomes in developed countries differ substantially for mothers and infants who formula feed compared with those who breastfeed. For infants, not being breastfed is associated with an increased incidence of infectious morbidity, as well as elevated risks of childhood obesity, type 1 and type 2 diabetes, leukemia, and sudden infant death syndrome. For mothers, failure to breastfeed is associated with an increased incidence of premenopausal breast cancer, ovarian cancer, retained gestational weight gain, type 2 diabetes, myocardial infarction, and the metabolic syndrome.”

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2812877/

This is why I don’t think it should be treated as a “choice” if you can’t BF then fine, you do whatever you need to do, if you can, then for yourself and your baby, you really should. So @assasinatedbeauty, I’m not in the market for making anyone feel guilty at all, that doesn’t achieve anything, so I apologise if it came across that way (fast typing with baby= wrong things being said) but I think we all need to be better educated as to what happens when you FF: not making women who need to feel guilty has made us believe its an equal choice.

[Rumpledfaceskin]

Presumably tmgc is referring to the fact that breastfeeding reduces your likelihood of getting breast cancer so by not doing it if you have the choice you will be increasing your risk?

[InDubiousBattle]

Have you thought of mix feeding op? Bf/ff doesn't have to be all or nothing. You could bf 90% of the time and leave your baby with a bottle of f when you go out. I bf my dd for all feeds except for 1 ff a day. I found bf to be really convenient as I didn't have to sterile otters or worry about hot wster/having enough when we went out. Ff meant that I knew if I wanted to get out or someone else to feed her for whatever reason than I had the option.

How would you feel about mix feeding ?

[Queeniebed]

I wound down after 5 months taking two months to gradually stop my supply. I expressed at work and only latched at 5am/pm. Had no problems going over to bottle as we introduced that and some formula at 2 weeks and used frozen BM so LO had BF for longer than i actually produced. The only thing I would do different is express more and probably BF for longer if I could (but then i might take more time off next baby).

BF was a easy to clean up after -clean wet cloth (sometimes a new top as I was a leaker!), formula was a pain and we went down the route of pre-made in litre cartons. Powder was a massive faff and poor DH coudlnt cope with the timing - he used to start prepping as baby started crying so no hope of cooling it down quickly after boiling the water!

[Tmgc123]

*not making women who need to FF

[Tmgc123]

Totally agree with @indubiousbattle, you can mix. I did one FF a day and pumped atthe same time until about 6 weeks and then went EBF. But you can do it that way as it gives you the option for more flexibility. They talk about only FF or BF, if more chat was about combi then women wouldn’t feel so confused or pressured to do one.

[junperoo]

DS was bf to six weeks then ff. This was due to myriad reasons. What I would say, going by my own mistakes last time, is that if you decide to give a bottle of formula it if not the end of the world. It is not the end of bf. One bottle here or there while someone else has the baby doesn't mean your baby is now not bf.

There's a lot of pressure to exclusively breast feed for 6 months. When ds's reflux led to us giving a few bottles I beat myself up for ages that I'd failed at ebf. I wish I'd continued to bf, giving him a bottle here or there as required.

[junperoo]

Cross post and total agreement with @Tmgc123 and @InDubiousBattle re mix feeding

[KatharinaRosalie]

BF at 6 weeks with all those cluster feeding sessions and frequent comfort snacking is hard
BF at 6 months on the other hand is a doddle. No prep, no warming and cooling, no carting the bottles around - and you're done in 10 minutes. You've already done the hardest part, it will get a lot easier.

[Tmgc123]

@katharinarosalie is totally right! I read that a lot of women stop BF at 6 weeks because it’s still so hard, it’s relentless and it feels like you’ve been doing it forever (all true) but so soon after this it just clicks and it’s so much easier.

[tiktok]

TableShack - of course I have read it. You are not the first misinformed person to post it on mumsnet.

[stuffstuffeverywhere]

Expressing milk is a skill in itself. Took me until the four month mark to get the hang of it. What sort of pump do you have? A different one or different size funnel may help.

[xxrealistmumxx]

Another vote for mixed feeding here. If your LO is taking a bottle then I think it's best to keep giving it now and again. I had a friend who's DD took a bottle at first then refused as they didn't use it for a couple of months. DD would then only bf so when she went to nursery at 6 months she would go all day without having a drink of anything because she refused bottle / cup, only took the breast. It was very stressful for everyone. I'd say keep using the bottle now and again with either formula or expressed breast milk so you can get a break as and when you need to.

Also find expressing easiest first thing in the morning. I tend to feed lo off one side for the last night feed and first morning feed so other breast is nice and full then it's easier to express from it.. That way you can build up a stock in the freezer

[2sly4you]

If your baby is happy to take a bottle, you can send her to grandma with formula and breastfeed her when she's with you. Mix feeding for the win :)

[RibenaMonsoon]

I breastfed exclusively to start with and combi fed when DS was 4 months. This was mainly due to teething and bottle being less painful than boob for him. He had a really bad time teething, it was so painful for him! I loved the breastfeeding bond we had and wouldn't change a thing. Stopped when he was just over a year old.

There was a part of me that wanted my body back, also I was able to drink again when I stopped. Not that I'm a massive drinker bit it's nice to have the option.

I couldn't believe how expensive formula is. But it does give you a breather.

There's pros and cons to both. Do what you feel is right for you and baby. You've done amazing so far and you sound like a great mum!

[FlyingwithBaby]

I have found La Leche League to be a fantastic source of support, online and in person at their meetings... maybe there is one local to you which you could go to before making a decision?
www.laleche.org.uk/