Anyone else planning to bottle feed (don't shoot me please)

[camerafairy]

Anyone else planning to bottle feed and what are your reasons? Mine are because I have to work very quickly after the birth as I have my very busy own business and need my mum and partner to be able to share feeds with me. I will not be breastfeeding at all, please don't come on here to shout at me! It doesn't mean i'm putting my business before my baby

[AlpinePony]

camera Best of luck whatever you choose. The judgements sadly will span from conception until you're in your grave - so do what you want with your head held high! :) Do come over to the "FF support" thread - there are plenty of us over there in different stages and "states of mind" about it all, but, raising healthy children.

I'm planning to FF without guilt my next baby (due Feb).

Sadly I lost one very close friend over this whole silly issue and it still hurts - but what can you do? :(

[hightrees]

Sorry, but the 'snide comment' OP refers to is this:
"Your body your choice.
Interesting you write 'don't shoot me'."

This is NOT meant snidely. I simply wrote it because I wonder whether you yourself are wondering how good an idea FF is. Almost like you're saying you expect to be shot for your decision or that you're worried about it - indeed you later say you'd do it differently if you had til Nov. Clearly u are trying to do the right thing economically/physcially since you need to work.

[MoonFaceMamaaaaargh]

sorry hightrees, i didn't know what comment the op was refering to and tbh it wouldn't have mattered. I wasn't debating the perceived snideyness or other wise, rather the wisdom of the op's response.

[coldcomfortHeart]

Interesting post Pesephone and you're probably right, the media has caused these terms to become quite prolific and widely used without much thought (Myleene Klass' recent comment about 'Breastapo' for example)

Bloody meeja grrrr

sorry for slight hijack OP

[hightrees]

Oh moon - and I wasn't having a go at you either! I think you have the right attitude to life. We sd all have that 'tude.
Is the case that both BF and FFers get judged. OP sd realise that. I think we all just want to do the right thing for our baby.
Also it's amazing how I changed so many views after junior was born (on lots of issues) - but if because of work OP has to decide on FF right now then so be it. Most people will prob take their hats off to her for working with a tiny one.

I wld be v v v impressed with (if not totally amazed by) any woman who goes back to work 'very quickly' (am assuming OP means within a couple of weeks?) - if so, OP must be careful she's not too hard on herself. PND could strike otherwise.

Also, if you are unlucky enough to have to have a crash C-sec, as I did, then that's a major op. You'll def need 6 weeks off.

But who knows, you may be really lucky with the birth, and with enough support then it sounds brilliant. Bottom line is I can't see how OP could even entertain the idea of BF with a swift return to work. So no snide, just wondering whether you're putting too much pressure on yourself before child is even here.

[MoonFaceMamaaaaargh]

No worries hightrees, i just didn't want you thinking i thought 'twas snide.

Agree re taking care re pnd. Life with your first newborn is a massive challenge no matter what. I could never have imagined how much before experiencing it (and i had an easy time). But i find it hard to get that across without sounding patronising. Glad the op has support.

[Fifis25StottieCakes]

I formula fed my 3 and they are all fine

[japhrimel]

If you're a light sleeper and can't use earplugs, be prepared to be up at night anyway. Most Mums I know are more sensitive to LOs cry than partners or family members. I'd need to be in another house to not wake up at all when DD cries!

FF babies are usually just fine and it's hard to put any issues directly down to formula. Breastfeeding is still better. If you're happy with your choice, then that's ok.

TBH I would try to see how things go. As many have said, bfing in hospital is usually easier. And if bfing goes okay, it can be easier and is often a very quick and wonderful way to soothe a screaming baby. Mix feeding might be a good "target" for you.

And if you have a difficult birth, you might have to take time off and rest anyway. I had an EMCS and although I was up and about alot early on, I couldn't lift anything bigger than my handbag and couldn't drive for over a month, as wella s needing serious recuperation time.

How long have you planned to have off? Is that dependent on LO arriving on time (so could up to 2 weeks less)?

[twinklegreen]

I have started a new thread on the use of the team 'breastapo' 'breastfeeding mafia' etc

Just mentioning it on here as I didn't want you camerafairy to think it was a dig at you personally. I hope everything goes well for you and your imminent arrival :)

Didn't want to hijack your thread, but felt that there were a few interesting posts in this thread that I would like to discuss further.

[hightrees]

And whatever you do, don't read anything on children by Oliver James.

[hightrees]

sorry x-post, that comment was in response to what Japh said - what she says makes a great deal of sense.

[camerafairy]

Thanks all, bottom line is I want to do the right thing, but with baby not being planned and coming in my busiest month what's right might not necessarily be the most sensible option, if you get me, I have no idea what my personal labour experience will be and that scares me, nor when he will arrive and it's really stressful but it was either that or an abortion, which as I said wasn't an option, and I simply cant afford to pay cover for too many weeks, I don't want to miss any more than 2 if I can help it - it's really not easy but I will do my best as a mum and and a businesswoman and I need to be on my feet quick, I'm hoping my dear grandad 'up there' is going to help me out... My customers aren't always understanding, although those with children have been more supportive, some have almost had the attitude 'i hope your pregnancy doesn't affect our photos' I've been working my socks off my whole pregnancy and have worked just as hard as normal even with v painful SPD... And this saturday on a hot day running around trying to document every single thing and wasn't even offered a drink all day (good job i was prepared!!) The joys of self enployment. Just hope I'm lucky, that my baby is healthy and I recover well...

[FringeMonkey]

Here is some info about formula feeding. It covers much more than just making up a pwdered feed (thought it the stuff about how often to feed and other common issues is towards the end, so scroll down). If you tell them after your baby is born that you intend to bottle feed then you should get a demo in hospital 1-2-1 after your baby arrives of how to make up a feed and how to go about bottle feeding.

Good luck with your new arrival . I agree with many of the posts about night waking, and hope you (and your mum!) don't find it too tiring with you having to be back at work so soon. I also agree that some mums get on very well with just a few breastfeeds, or a few days of breastfeeding before making the switch. Breastfeeding mums also often do report more sleep at night if breastfeeding has got off to a good start and is going well, so unless you're going to be working away at nights then mixed feeding where you breastfeed overnight and use bottles in the day might be another option to think about -it's not always a black and white choice between breast and bottle. Some mums who decide not to breastfeed consider expressing milk once or twice a day so their baby can have some breastmilk by bottle as well as formula. There really are lots of different ways of doing things according to what you want and what works for your family. Let us know how things go .

[FringeMonkey]

Ooops, forgot to say there is also this helpful Guide to Infant Formula .

[MotherPanda]

Hello, I completley respect your choice :)

I did just want to say that is possible to share responsibility for feeds whilst breast feeding - I'm going to be expressing my milk so my DH and parents can help with feeds.

Combination feeding is another alternative, your baby could be bottle fed whilst with your parents in law and DH and you could breastfeed first thing in the morning and at night etc -

IF YOU WANTED TO! Please don't think I'm trying to put on pressure - just suggesting that there are ways around it. I will luckily have a longer leave - but still plan to exclusiveley breast feed when I'm working 50 miles away from my baby - I've got some time to practice expressing :)

[hightrees]

camera - I really feel for you. Sorry if you thought I was being snide. You sound fab and you're obviously just really thinking it all through in a v rational way.

You've been doing really well working this far - with little support.

I was the same workwise as you - I had a major non-negotiable deadline 2 weeks before I gave birth = high stress basically.

Plus, maybe a bit like you, I was not sure AT ALL about whether to even have a kid. (or rather, felt I was not cut out for it.) And aside from all that, I didn't want to give up the day job. Why should I? I'd worked hard to get where I was (a really jammy job). I'd also got two interested work-related trips lined up - one 3 weeks after he was born (New York where I was to be some keynote speaker, ha ha ha), and then again 2 months after (all expenses paid trip to Europe) - why would I give them up? (In the event, I did neither.)

However, I also assumed the very worst. This was a good thing since I expected life with a new baby to be fuckin hell. I read that book by that woman (Gina ahem). And I shitted myself even more. What a way to spend your time! Set feeds and no sleep. She says somewhere about how you sdn't really even expect to have any sort of non-baby-related life for the first few months (she's right in my exp).

But, at the same time, there must be this hippy side to me since I knew I wanted to b/f for 'a bit' and also planned to carry him in a sling. Had read stuff like the Continuum Concept where the author speaks about importance of attachment to child's whole personality.

In fact, fast forward a year, and I'm still b/feeding 13 months on (and I bastard hated it to begin with) and the sling got slung after 6 weeks.
As for work, I did start doing some when he was 4 months old, but I have since given up the contract and gone freelance and now work just when he naps (i.e. now, cough).
I really wanted to be there for him and I really don't care that my salary has been cut by 90%. So, I totally get what you're saying about your photography (my work is also a vocation - as yours might be?). JUST please please don't be too hard on yourself. AND expect the worst then it might be better - you might actually not even want other family members to get in on the act too much. And I'm the very last maternal type. Sorry, I know this is just my story - but, at some level, I was interested in your thread since you remind me of how I was.

That all said, with enough support (unlike you, I had none) there is every chance you can keep up your work. You may also have a swift recovery and feel fine (I'm much older than you hence I found it more physically demanding I'm sure). And as various posters have said they all ff their kids and so can you. Whatever happens, really good luck.

[nickelbabe]

I was going to ask if you'd thought about taking leave with Maternity Allowance, but I see you're in the same boat as me with having no choice but to work (I've got a shop and i'm due in november - the busiest time of year!)
I'm planning to bring the baby with me to work.
I don't know how practical that is for you, I guess you don't have your own premises judging by your comment on noone getting you a drink all day?

[jandmmum]

no judgements here but fwiw bf is not always difficult and stressful. I have a friend whose baby bf for 10 min every 4 hours from birth and slept 12 hours at night from 8 weeks. her life has been much easier for bfing as no faff with making up bottles. May be worth a try and if you have any problems then switch. It's amazing what you can do whilst bfing that you can't do whilst bottle feeding because you have a free hand! Good luck with the impending birth.

[RandD]

Have you thought of doing ( and planning to do) some of both - I did with mine as I found B/f so difficult at first - and it is hard for some people to start with - however after a bit it is actively easier and quicker, so might be a great solution for the times you are at home. I know its just my experience, but with both of my children I had no problem with nipple confusion - they took to a bottle as well as b/f and it gave me a break

[redundant]

hello, can i do a quick hijack as seem lots of people here who have had experience.

I don't want to BF this time but am happy to (in fact would prefer to) express and give by bottle for a few days/weeks before moving to FF. Any advice how to do it? - do I just put baby on boob whilst in hospital to get colostrum (last time that didn't work tho and had to be given by syringe) and then express into a bottle when milk comes in? And if baby needs it in between time, give bottle of FF?

Does that sound ok?? I don't mind if expressing/mixed feeding means it takes longer for my boobs to dry up (in fact thought that might be more comfy, if take longer)?

ta - sorry, mammoth hijack, and OP hope you may even have had baby by now and are getting on ok.

[Grumpygils]

This and this page might be of some help redundant? Why not call the national bf helpline on 0300 100 0212 and talk it through with someone to figure out a plan for what you'd like to do ?

[redundant]

thank you - will have a look. Don't think am brave enough to call the bf helpline for fear they might try to persuade me otherwise! but hope should be able to figure it out - thank you.

[Grumpygils]

redundant -you should get acceptance of your feelings and views from the bf helplines. They are there to support mums in all aspects of breastfeeding, including mothers who want to know about options for giving breastmilk without feeding directly. There are numerous personal reasons why a mother might choose to do this and they still need support, just like women who want info and support about stopping bf . It's possible the person answering might ask you if you have thought about breastfeeding or suggest it, but you could just say something like "I really don't want to talk about the option of breastfeeding for personal reasons, I've just rung to ask about expressing thank you". If you do this clearly, politely and firmly then there should be no confusion , and they will hopefully then be able to talk you through options for expressing. They would have to be honest with you and might make reference to breastfeeding, for example explain why it is more difficult to establish a long-term supply when baby is never breastfeeding directly, but this is not to pressurise, just because they need to be honest with you. How you choose to proceed is entirely up to you.

[AlpinePony]

redundant I plan to do exactly as you suggested in your first post bar expressing as I do not wish to encourage production.

I have no desire to discuss the issue with a lc pushing their own agenda.

Good luck and congratulations obviously.

[bananacurry]

I ff both my boys as they didn't take to the boob! I did however express for 5 days with ds1 & 10 days with ds2 so I knew that at least they got some breast milk! I think the problem of accepting a bottle comes later on when bf is fully established. not within the first couple of weeks.

Handy hints for ff buy a flask! Easiest way to make up a bottle! you have hot boiled water whenever its needed.