Anyone else planning to bottle feed (don't shoot me please)

[camerafairy]

Anyone else planning to bottle feed and what are your reasons? Mine are because I have to work very quickly after the birth as I have my very busy own business and need my mum and partner to be able to share feeds with me. I will not be breastfeeding at all, please don't come on here to shout at me! It doesn't mean i'm putting my business before my baby

[tiktok]

Hi, cameragirl - if you are ambivalent about your decision to ff, then there is nothing to stop you putting your baby to your breast now, and just seeing what happens :)

If you decided to switch to bf, then you could, but it would be hard work and time consuming, and my guess is your life is busy enough without that...but a little 'flirtation' with breastfeeding is fine, and your baby and you may well enjoy the physical closeness and find it comforting.

[KnockedUpMell]

BF is hard work initially, but after the first few weeks, it is the feeding method of choice for the LAZY person! (ME!!)... We now feed lying down (and co-sleep), and I just need to position the boob close to his mouth (5m.o) when he looks for food in the night, and i doze back to sleep almost immediately. honestly couldn't tell you how many times he feeds a night, and i get a full nights sleep, and he never fully wakes up / cries and stays asleep from 7pm-7am. My hubby is a happy man too! May be worth considering it for the night time feeds, and using formula during the day.

[MigGril]

But this is the biggest problem with the NHS they promote breast is best, then there is shocking little support for any type of feeding. Be it mixed, just the first few days or formula feeding afterwards. It's a big failling in the whole system (some hospitals are better then others) .

You shouldn't feel guilty you made the best decision for your family. It's understnadable to be anoyed with the health care system though if you don't feel you got the support you need in every way after a difficult birth.

[Finallygotaroundtoit]

So are you saying that you may have been swayed?

Don't you think you may have resented the staff if if they tried to change your mind?

[camerafairy]

Thanks all for your support. I have been told bf is hard work and I know how hectic my job is so I guess I just knew from the off it wasn't viable for me at this time of year, but I wish I'd had a bit more support from healthcare providers as expressing would have been an option, however it wasn't discussed and I feel a little confused noone really sat down with me to discuss it at any point but perhaps it was naive of me to expect it and i shouod habe gone about it in a different way, the illness and fainting after the birth didnt help matters i guess as i was out of it for the first 2 days! Anyhow I do feel a bit guilty when I see Cato in pain and wonder how different it could have been, in some respects I stand by my choice but it does nag at me somewhat. Cato is a big and hungry baby so I wonder how much more tired I could be than I already am though! As it happens business is going very well though and we have national exposure coming up next month so that's good. Have to say that aptimil comfort has been a godsend! Mixed feelings all in all really.

[Booboostoo]

Congratulations on the arrival of little Cato!

I breastfeed (now at 12 weeks) but it is very, very hard work. DD regularly eats every two hours, through the night and sometimes settles in for 3 hour cluster feeds! I am quite shocked at the amount of time and effort bf takes and the only reason I can work is that I work from home and I can bf in front of the computer. DD is also quite hard work, especially since week 7 when all the wind started (!!), so I think that's just babies for you, it has nothing to do with bf vs ff.

[Finallygotaroundtoit]

Congratulations!

It sounds like you expected the ward staff to try to change your mind.
If so,can I ask why?

[1catherine1]

camerafairy What I find most interesting about this thread is how you were adamant from the start that bottlefeeding was for you yet seem to feel ever so slightly guilty for not breastfeeding. This was your choice and it was a choice you made rationally - you have no reason to feel guilty. You DC will be perfectly fine.

Congratulations on the safe arrival of your DC. The care you received in hospital doesn't sound good but in fairness in a busy ward you do have to ask and make a fuss if you want help. Never take the view of "I wouldn't want to bother anyone" when it comes to your child!

Remember that the colic and the sleep problems may have still occurred had you BF (constipation maybe not however) but it is more important that your provide for your child. I have BF my DD for the last 5 months and would encourage anyone else to do the same as I feel it is a truely amazing thing but I think providing for your family is even more important and if you feel like you have sacrificed the breastfeeding experience then remember that you did it for a good reason!

Good luck.

[camerafairy]

Thanks hightrees I appreciate that, it's very hard trying to keep a hectic career and have a baby, you sound like you did marvellously well better than me!! I went back to work on the 6th august, 10 days after the birth, and worked twice when I was overdue, must admit I wasn't too well on the 6th but I managed, just!

Well it's been a while since I last posted, ended up 2 week overdue and induced on 26th July, I laboured very quickly and had massive contractions starting after the second pessary, babies heart kept dipping, forceps, tear and episiotomy, but it was over in four hours so swings and roundabouts! I had a blood transfusion afterwards as fainted just after the birth and twice afterwards as I became very anaemic, then once home I became allergic to diclofenac, discovered after blood tests and an ECG as I had been so unwell and had palpitations and an increased heart rate!

With hindsight I wish I bf for the first 48 hours at least but I had no chat or support re this decision, I was kinda expecting at some point on the ward that someone might come and discuss events with me but I was given a few leaflets and different midwifes popped in every couple of hours to check me but the care was shockingly vague, no one even asked me what I planned to do so I didn't get the chat I was hoping for and me being the idiot I am didn't want to trouble anyone as they were all so busy.... As I fainted straight after the birth Cato was given straight to my OH with a bottle and no discussion took place that I was aware of anyway!

Anyway, we have had a lot of tummy troubles, colic and constipation, from 2 weeks Cato was very hard work and cried a lot, slept little, I kinda blame myself for my choice, we are getting somewhere now but it's been very very hard.

[bananacurry]

I ff both my boys as they didn't take to the boob! I did however express for 5 days with ds1 & 10 days with ds2 so I knew that at least they got some breast milk! I think the problem of accepting a bottle comes later on when bf is fully established. not within the first couple of weeks.

Handy hints for ff buy a flask! Easiest way to make up a bottle! you have hot boiled water whenever its needed.

[AlpinePony]

redundant I plan to do exactly as you suggested in your first post bar expressing as I do not wish to encourage production.

I have no desire to discuss the issue with a lc pushing their own agenda.

Good luck and congratulations obviously.

[Grumpygils]

redundant -you should get acceptance of your feelings and views from the bf helplines. They are there to support mums in all aspects of breastfeeding, including mothers who want to know about options for giving breastmilk without feeding directly. There are numerous personal reasons why a mother might choose to do this and they still need support, just like women who want info and support about stopping bf . It's possible the person answering might ask you if you have thought about breastfeeding or suggest it, but you could just say something like "I really don't want to talk about the option of breastfeeding for personal reasons, I've just rung to ask about expressing thank you". If you do this clearly, politely and firmly then there should be no confusion , and they will hopefully then be able to talk you through options for expressing. They would have to be honest with you and might make reference to breastfeeding, for example explain why it is more difficult to establish a long-term supply when baby is never breastfeeding directly, but this is not to pressurise, just because they need to be honest with you. How you choose to proceed is entirely up to you.

[redundant]

thank you - will have a look. Don't think am brave enough to call the bf helpline for fear they might try to persuade me otherwise! but hope should be able to figure it out - thank you.

[Grumpygils]

This and this page might be of some help redundant? Why not call the national bf helpline on 0300 100 0212 and talk it through with someone to figure out a plan for what you'd like to do ?

[redundant]

hello, can i do a quick hijack as seem lots of people here who have had experience.

I don't want to BF this time but am happy to (in fact would prefer to) express and give by bottle for a few days/weeks before moving to FF. Any advice how to do it? - do I just put baby on boob whilst in hospital to get colostrum (last time that didn't work tho and had to be given by syringe) and then express into a bottle when milk comes in? And if baby needs it in between time, give bottle of FF?

Does that sound ok?? I don't mind if expressing/mixed feeding means it takes longer for my boobs to dry up (in fact thought that might be more comfy, if take longer)?

ta - sorry, mammoth hijack, and OP hope you may even have had baby by now and are getting on ok.

[RandD]

Have you thought of doing ( and planning to do) some of both - I did with mine as I found B/f so difficult at first - and it is hard for some people to start with - however after a bit it is actively easier and quicker, so might be a great solution for the times you are at home. I know its just my experience, but with both of my children I had no problem with nipple confusion - they took to a bottle as well as b/f and it gave me a break

[jandmmum]

no judgements here but fwiw bf is not always difficult and stressful. I have a friend whose baby bf for 10 min every 4 hours from birth and slept 12 hours at night from 8 weeks. her life has been much easier for bfing as no faff with making up bottles. May be worth a try and if you have any problems then switch. It's amazing what you can do whilst bfing that you can't do whilst bottle feeding because you have a free hand! Good luck with the impending birth.

[nickelbabe]

I was going to ask if you'd thought about taking leave with Maternity Allowance, but I see you're in the same boat as me with having no choice but to work (I've got a shop and i'm due in november - the busiest time of year!)
I'm planning to bring the baby with me to work.
I don't know how practical that is for you, I guess you don't have your own premises judging by your comment on noone getting you a drink all day?

[hightrees]

camera - I really feel for you. Sorry if you thought I was being snide. You sound fab and you're obviously just really thinking it all through in a v rational way.

You've been doing really well working this far - with little support.

I was the same workwise as you - I had a major non-negotiable deadline 2 weeks before I gave birth = high stress basically.

Plus, maybe a bit like you, I was not sure AT ALL about whether to even have a kid. (or rather, felt I was not cut out for it.) And aside from all that, I didn't want to give up the day job. Why should I? I'd worked hard to get where I was (a really jammy job). I'd also got two interested work-related trips lined up - one 3 weeks after he was born (New York where I was to be some keynote speaker, ha ha ha), and then again 2 months after (all expenses paid trip to Europe) - why would I give them up? (In the event, I did neither.)

However, I also assumed the very worst. This was a good thing since I expected life with a new baby to be fuckin hell. I read that book by that woman (Gina ahem). And I shitted myself even more. What a way to spend your time! Set feeds and no sleep. She says somewhere about how you sdn't really even expect to have any sort of non-baby-related life for the first few months (she's right in my exp).

But, at the same time, there must be this hippy side to me since I knew I wanted to b/f for 'a bit' and also planned to carry him in a sling. Had read stuff like the Continuum Concept where the author speaks about importance of attachment to child's whole personality.

In fact, fast forward a year, and I'm still b/feeding 13 months on (and I bastard hated it to begin with) and the sling got slung after 6 weeks.
As for work, I did start doing some when he was 4 months old, but I have since given up the contract and gone freelance and now work just when he naps (i.e. now, cough).
I really wanted to be there for him and I really don't care that my salary has been cut by 90%. So, I totally get what you're saying about your photography (my work is also a vocation - as yours might be?). JUST please please don't be too hard on yourself. AND expect the worst then it might be better - you might actually not even want other family members to get in on the act too much. And I'm the very last maternal type. Sorry, I know this is just my story - but, at some level, I was interested in your thread since you remind me of how I was.

That all said, with enough support (unlike you, I had none) there is every chance you can keep up your work. You may also have a swift recovery and feel fine (I'm much older than you hence I found it more physically demanding I'm sure). And as various posters have said they all ff their kids and so can you. Whatever happens, really good luck.

[MotherPanda]

Hello, I completley respect your choice :)

I did just want to say that is possible to share responsibility for feeds whilst breast feeding - I'm going to be expressing my milk so my DH and parents can help with feeds.

Combination feeding is another alternative, your baby could be bottle fed whilst with your parents in law and DH and you could breastfeed first thing in the morning and at night etc -

IF YOU WANTED TO! Please don't think I'm trying to put on pressure - just suggesting that there are ways around it. I will luckily have a longer leave - but still plan to exclusiveley breast feed when I'm working 50 miles away from my baby - I've got some time to practice expressing :)

[FringeMonkey]

Ooops, forgot to say there is also this helpful Guide to Infant Formula .

[FringeMonkey]

Here is some info about formula feeding. It covers much more than just making up a pwdered feed (thought it the stuff about how often to feed and other common issues is towards the end, so scroll down). If you tell them after your baby is born that you intend to bottle feed then you should get a demo in hospital 1-2-1 after your baby arrives of how to make up a feed and how to go about bottle feeding.

Good luck with your new arrival . I agree with many of the posts about night waking, and hope you (and your mum!) don't find it too tiring with you having to be back at work so soon. I also agree that some mums get on very well with just a few breastfeeds, or a few days of breastfeeding before making the switch. Breastfeeding mums also often do report more sleep at night if breastfeeding has got off to a good start and is going well, so unless you're going to be working away at nights then mixed feeding where you breastfeed overnight and use bottles in the day might be another option to think about -it's not always a black and white choice between breast and bottle. Some mums who decide not to breastfeed consider expressing milk once or twice a day so their baby can have some breastmilk by bottle as well as formula. There really are lots of different ways of doing things according to what you want and what works for your family. Let us know how things go .

[camerafairy]

Thanks all, bottom line is I want to do the right thing, but with baby not being planned and coming in my busiest month what's right might not necessarily be the most sensible option, if you get me, I have no idea what my personal labour experience will be and that scares me, nor when he will arrive and it's really stressful but it was either that or an abortion, which as I said wasn't an option, and I simply cant afford to pay cover for too many weeks, I don't want to miss any more than 2 if I can help it - it's really not easy but I will do my best as a mum and and a businesswoman and I need to be on my feet quick, I'm hoping my dear grandad 'up there' is going to help me out... My customers aren't always understanding, although those with children have been more supportive, some have almost had the attitude 'i hope your pregnancy doesn't affect our photos' I've been working my socks off my whole pregnancy and have worked just as hard as normal even with v painful SPD... And this saturday on a hot day running around trying to document every single thing and wasn't even offered a drink all day (good job i was prepared!!) The joys of self enployment. Just hope I'm lucky, that my baby is healthy and I recover well...

[hightrees]

sorry x-post, that comment was in response to what Japh said - what she says makes a great deal of sense.

[hightrees]

And whatever you do, don't read anything on children by Oliver James.