Webchat with Professor Tanya Byron: Tuesday 8 July, 1-2pm.

[RachelMumsnet]

Professor Tanya Byron will be joining us for a webchat at 1pm on Tuesday 8 July. Tanya is a practicing consultant in child and adolescent mental health and author of several books including her latest, The Skeleton Cupboard, our June non-fiction book of the month.

The Skeleton Cupboard is Professor Tanya Byron's fascinating account of her years training as a clinical psychologist. The Skeleton Cupboard recounts the period when she found herself in the toughest placements of her career. Through the eyes of her naive and inexperienced younger self, Tanya shares remarkable stories of the people who came to her for help with a multitude of difficulties. The patients she sees suffer from loneliness, anorexia and anxiety, as well as severe cases of dementia and a psychopath with a knife.

Find out more about the book, read an extract here

Come and chat to Tanya about her experiences training and working as a psychologist, her book or tap into her expertise and ask her a question about any psychological and emotional issues that may be affecting you or your family.

[DrTanyaByron]

@Theseus

Hello - I thought the extract was brilliant and will be getting the book.

I wondered if you had any advice for helping a 9yo girl who is currently being assessed for HFA. I think she's probably borderline. She is suffering with anxiety, with constant physical symptoms for the last 3 months.

I am v worried about her. I don't know whether to just address the anxiety and am scared of what the assessment will throw up. I don't know whether a child who is borderline is better off with or without diagnosis (if she even gets one that is) and whether it's better to just deal with her as anxious on its own. IYSWIM.

She is very academically bright, gifted in some areas, and does have good friendships but is always somehow on the periphery of social interactions. I think school is stressful for her. I am not sure how best to help her.

Hello Theseus,

A diagnosis is merely a description of a number of coexisting 'symptoms' and I can understand your anxiety in terms of it possibly becoming a label and limiting for your daughter. The most important thing for any clinical team is to see the child they are treating and in my experience, that is how we work. To help with her anxiety, look at Dawn Huebner's books especially what to do when you worry too much, as these books outline CBT for children in a fun way for parents and children to work through together and learn emotional regulation skills. Also, look at as many activities that require her to socialise with other children outside of school in order to desensitise her to any social anxiety she may have. I understand that this makes you feel really anxious for her but the more anxious you are, the more she will pick that up and be affected by it. Good luck!

[lionheart]

Agree, Juggling. And also that anything and anyone helping to get these issues discussed within wider culture a good thing.

[DrTanyaByron]

@Ruby6918

can you recommend where to get help for a teenager who is self haring with cutting and piercing i dont know where to start any info would be very helful

Hi Ruby6918,

Look at the Young Minds website which will offer advice and support for teens and also for parents and carers. When the young person has an urge to cut, encouraging them to grip ice tightly offers the relief they crave without causing harm. The aim is to encourage emotions to be spoken rather than expressed physically and so CBT would be helpful to increase emotional articulation. Also see the Butterfly Project.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

@ lionheart

[Theseus]

Thank you for your reply. Can I ask a cheeky follow-up question? I have looked at a couple of books meant for anxious children but they seem to deal with situations when children have specific worries. My daughter denies that anything is worrying her at all, but is quite clearly anxious. Will this approach still work?

[clg2008]

Lovely lady she is chancellor of my uni. Gonna read this book looks very interesting x

[DrTanyaByron]

@lovinglifewithlittleones

I loved reading the book, I added my blog review onto the linky, I couldn't put it down and wanted more. a brilliant read.
Not sure if i will be able to make the chat tomorrow so I will ask my question now.
Dr Byron, What is your favourite area/setting to work in and why?

Hi lovinglifewithlittleones,

Thank you for your review which I read and really appreciated the fact that you took time and care when discussing the book. At the top of my house I have an office which has a turret roof, so I feel like I am in my own magical kingdom! It is painted white and has shelves of books and computers which means that my kids can also come and do their work up there when I'm working which inevitably means we end up putting on music and dancing!

[OutsSelf]

I see their intellectual prowess and career success as separate from their sexual orientation in the same way as I do for myself.

I recognise what you are saying. However, you have framed those narratives in this way - you have framed the narrative of power and mutual interest in the context of a sexual relationship here. While you may just be observing in a personal sense an interesting experience you had, as an author your choice is meaningful in terms of readership, and such choices always take place in a political landscape. Welcome to The Humanities ha ha. I expect you have also had experiences of this in the ways that your TV shows edit...

[DrTanyaByron]

@BingoMoss

I loved this book. I am a psychiatry doctor in CAMHS and the writing is so accurate and poignant. I have been trying to work through my rescue fantasies ever since I read that part. The way you write about your relationships with patients is so moving. I couldn't put the book down. I also love how self-deprecating you are.

My question is:

What are the qualities you possess that make you so skilled at what you do?

(and if I'm allowed two)

What are the things that hamper you in your work?

Hello BingoMoss,

Hello to a fellow colleague! I really appreciate when my professional peers can relate to what I have written as it feels like a vote of authenticity, so thank you very much!

I described the murder of my grandmother at the beginning of the book and I know from some posts, that some people found it shocking and brutal which is exactly how I remember it and so how I described it as it still sits with me today. That experience started my journey into mental health, as I tried to understand why the 8 month pregnant heroin-using woman who murdered my grandmother would do such a thing. I then went on and trained over 6 years and 25 years later, here I am still doing clinical work. I do think that I find I can focus in chaos and the book is about helping people (including ourselves as practitioners) navigate the journey from chaos to clarity. Therefore, sitting in situations of conflict and distress and with my clinical training, I do feel focussed and able to facilitate a process of change. Maybe that came from having to cope with my grandmother's murder when my father (her son) was with me and very distressed?

What hampers me in my work is a lack of parity between funding for mental and physical health services. That children and young people, who make up 25% of our population, only receive 6% of our mental health budget. And finally, that a huge stigma still exists around mental illness which means so many come for treatment and support when they are chronic because of a shame they feel about their conditions. That breaks my heart.

[TheLostWinchesterWife]

I have a daughter who (though sheer determination on my part) has been diagnosed with a genetic deletion which can (and does in her case) involve anxiety, emotional problems and other things like ASD, for which she is currently being assessed. Before we get the diagnosis of ASD, if she actually gets it, should I be treating her traits as you would a child with a diagnosis or treat her as a child without ASD? I do realise that a lot of the care is very similar but I am worried I am damaging my child.

[DrTanyaByron]

@sunshinechan

My question would be,

Professor, do you have any advice for a potential career changer? I've recently finished an OU Masters in Childhood and Youth and am considering re-training as a psychologist. I'm aware this would entail going back for a 3 year undergraduate degree to get GBC, and then go on to complete a doctorate. I'm 33 and also aware of my ticking biological clock, so that's another consideration. Would I be mad to consider doing this?

If anyone else reading has an opinion please feel free to PM me!

Thank you :)

Hi sunshinechan,

I am not sure how much of your OU degree would count towards a psychology degree but yes, you would need 3 years undergrad psychology degree and relevant work experience to get onto a clinical training course. I lecture on a number of courses and there are many people who have come to clinical psychology later in their career and some who are pregnant! It is a great career and if you're passionate about it, then I really encourage you to go for it and maybe one day, I'll lecture you!

[DrTanyaByron]

@GretchenWiener

Oh and I agree the "girls " thing is cringey.

Hi GretchenWiener,

I think you are referring to the fact that in my book, I refer to my friendship group as 'my girls'. I did then, and I still do now! Sorry you find it cringey! But hope it didn't put you off the book. I shall be meeting 'my girls' at our weekly Zumba and kettle bells class tonight!

[lionheart]

Nowt wrong with having your own 'girls'.

[DrTanyaByron]

@j9dw

Hi, I don't know how to do this webchat thing, do we just come here on Tuesday?
Anyway, I'd like to ask (if you have time) if you recommend DBT for teenagers with Borderline?
My daughter has diagnosed herself, but a psychiatrist, she had a 15 minute appointment (resulting in another cutting episode), decided that she has "a bit of anxiety". That was last August and we've heard nothing since.
My daughter has had to put up with a father with physical disabilities (in constant pain & depressed), an asperger's brother, me being depressed for many years and severe bulyting at school. If you think DBT would help her, how do we go about getting it when our mental health system is leting her down?
She's 19 now and I'm pleased to say, has recently, and very successfully, completed a year at college.

Hi j9dw,

DBT is the evidence-based treatment for borderline personality disorder but I worry that your daughter has not been properly assessed or supported by the professional system. I suggest pushing hard for a second opinion via your GP and also going via the Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS) if you feel that you need to raise concerns. There are also good online support resources and online CBT courses that your daughter could look at, however it also sounds like she is a resourceful young woman who is getting on with her life, managing at college which is fantastic.

//www.rcpsych.ac.uk

[TheLostWinchesterWife]

One of the problems she has is emotional overeating. She is only 7 I do not want ot give her a complex regarding food and body image but I'm worried for her health too. How do you suggest talking about not eating when you don't need it?

[DrTanyaByron]

@1805

Dear Tanya,

Our 9yr old daughter has recently been diagnosed with mild ASD. We have recently had to tell her that daddy is ill with cancer. She has kind of blanked it out as far as I can tell. Do you have any ideas as to how to help her cope when he starts his treatment? She kind of lives in her own little bubble-world, but I just don't know what she might be thinking.

Thank you

Hi 1805,

You've got a lot to deal with, so I send you all best wishes. Your daughter, like any child, will take the information in bits and pieces, and process it as and when she feels able to, often without you being aware. For a child with ASD, narrative i.e. books with pictures and stories can also aid understanding without it being made obvious why the stories are being read to them. A schedule of daddy's treatment on a diary where she can be encouraged to draw pictures and make little treats for him can also engage her in the process in a way that feels meaningful and real for her. I wish you all well.

//www.autism.org.uk

[DrTanyaByron]

Sorry, time is up! Thank you for your comments, sorry I couldn't answer them all. For advice and information, I will later send over a post with a range of links and resources.

Really appreciated the feedback about the book. It will be very helpful as I am now writing the next one!

Best wishes to you all and have a great summer!

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Thanks Tanya that was very interesting, and helpful just to ask you my question even though you weren't able to answer it personally

[doziedoozie]

Very pleased to hear there are more books planned, will look forward to them!

[GretchenWiener]

Arse. I missed it.

I bought if on kindle and ended up bloody loving it. Read in 24 hours. Loved the eating disorder bit and the clinical aspects of that. Really helpful for a situation near me.

Highly recommended.

[Lesuffolkandnorfolk]

I should be interviewing Dr Byron at the Latitude Festival so do feel free to PM me any questions and I will do my best to put them to her.

Thanks for an interesting webchat :)

[Goldmandra]

I'd love it if you could get her to answer my question from upthread as she chose not to in the webchat.

On the House of Tiny Tearaways you were seen to advise that children with food issues sat at the table and were put under powerful pressure to get them to eat, then heaping praise upon them when they eventually did so.

The most common advice for parents of fussy eaters is to make the food available by putting in front of them, leaving them to eat it whatever they choose, then taking away what is left without comment. The reason behind this being that they need to feel in control in order that they can choose to eat and have a healthy and positive relationship with food. If they sense a power struggle, they will eat less. I'm also aware of studies that concluded that children were less likely to choose activities if they had been rewarded for them in the past so this seems to make sense.

How can parents know when to take the generally advised approach of leaving the child to choose freely from a healthy balanced diet that is made available to them and when they should be taking a more active approach and insisting that the child puts certain foods in their mouth even if it causes them distress?

Thanks

[Lesuffolkandnorfolk]

I will make a note of it Goldmandra

[Goldmandra]

Thank you

[blue3333]

hi, question new to this. I live in a house its mine totally, i pay the mort, the deeds are in my name. my partner now my ex has three kids living with me and mine one child. I have seen a lawyer & he says I dont need to do anything about it, you can ask him to leave. he is unemployed. I pay for the food for all. the bills were in his name but as he had no money I moved them to me. is is really ture I just ask him to leave?