Rainbow baby

[anais2403]

My daughter died suddenly in December 2014. She was 17months old and our only child, she was so perfect and her death left us shattered. We have found out since that she had a random genetic mutation in a heart gene, which we don't carry (though there's a v small chance we carry it in our reproductive organs). I'm now pregnant again, but it's very early days. I am all sorts of anxious and it's difficult to not let it overwhelm me.

I know there's a thread for bereaved parents, but I think that pregnancies may be upsetting to others there (it was for me when I was recently bereaved).

Anyone who has been through this and has tips on how to survive the every day anxiety?

[cathpip]

anais a new life is always a blessing, never feel that you cannot mention it on the bereaved parents thread. Everybody on there was utterly delighted about my new pregnancy and baby after the loss of my daughter.

[anais2403]

Thanks angel and Miasmummy .. .this is exactly how I feel, terrible anxiety and announcing it to people just brings the anxiety on. People struggle to understand my ambivalence.

Thanks again. It really helps to feel less alone and less crazy!

[MiaAlexandrasmummy]

Anais, I think we communicated quite some time back, and I haven't been on MN much for the past year, but back on tonight, and I am delighted to hear the news of your pregnancy… but yes, my rainbow pregnancy nearly 4 years agao was tough, and actually, I didn't even want others to acknowledge it, as I was so uncertain of what could happen - right up to around 30 weeks. But yes, do find the other rainbow ladies, as I know I found this support extremely helpful.

[angelopal]

Sorry for your loss. We lost our first at 4 days old to an undetected heart defect. We have gone to have another and the pregnancy was really difficult. People would ask why I was not excited. I was terrified of something going wrong.

What got me through was support from people in the same boat who understood how I felt as they were feeling the same.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. It will be a tough few months but worth it. Hope all goes well.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

Anais. I'm so sorry. And indeed sorry to everyone else on your losses
Many congratulations to you on your subsequent pregnancy. Delighted for you. Yes it won't take the heart ache of losing your beautiful baby away but your new baby will certainly bring you lots of joy.

[hopinghopefullyagain]

I'd second Kitty, join the angels and rainbows thread. Our daughter was stillborn due to a chromosome abnormality. I'm in the early stages of another pregnancy and it's tough! The support from that thread helps a lot.

[KittyandTeal]

I'm sorry you lost your Dd. Congratulations on your new pregnancy.

Come bad join us on the Angels be rainbows thread in antenatal clubs. We're all in the same position, we're all pregnant with a rainbow after pregnancy or child loss. We all understand the anxieties.

We lost dd2 last year at 22 weeks, she had t18 so I understand a little about the anxiety around genetic/chromosomal issues. Neither my DH or I have a translocation so for us the t18 was terribly bad luck, it doesn't stop the worry though.