My DD1 is awfully bossy too, she actually tells us how to look after DD2. Hilarious really. I am sure twinset we will look back when they are 25 and laugh our tits off!
When she was a toddler though she was always shy, used to grunt at people if they looked at her and now, she is quite gregarious.
Have to say she does have habits that make my friends who have children a similar age jealous, she goes to bed absolutely no problem and has NEVER come out of her room to come downstairs. She also stays in her room pottering until we get her up, never has she wandered into our room to wake us up. I actually don't know another child who does this! She socialises wonderfully, whereas my good friend's DD will not interact if there are more than 2 in the group. If you look at all her good points it tends to out balance the harder side of her personality.
When you say she has a circle of fans, that is wonderful. Hopefully she will always be very popular and that will be down to her having a strong personality. At least she won't be bullied, the bullies don't go for the strong kids.
DD was watching Gladiators before in our bed, I swear, I nearly tied her down to it, she just didn't keep still. She gets more wired when she it tired. Is your DD like that?
I take it you have just moved areas? DD is moving schools in September. She is a bit worried but I know she will be fine.