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Behaviour/development

Does this sound like your average six year old. If so how do you cope?

82 replies

twinsetandpearls · 10/08/2008 10:56

She is an only child which I think think is a factor. She does not stop talking or singing. She is always dancing or jumping about. She is always trying to do flips over the couch. If we walk somewhere she can't just walk she has to skip or swing or jump on things. When she is on the phone she can't sit and talk she has to circle the room climbing on and off furniture. She is very accident prone. She is very popular with other kids but it amazes me as she can be mean and argumentative.

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SlartyBartFast · 10/08/2008 11:46

does she do gymnastics?
or that might jsut encourage her but it would be a practice at the same time

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twinsetandpearls · 10/08/2008 11:46

She has had emotional issues as a toddler and we saw a child psychologist win said it was a combination of a reaction to her difficult start in life, my illness and the fact she was very very clever but socially immature.

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SlartyBartFast · 10/08/2008 11:49

that would make sense - very very clever ? bless her

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psychomum5 · 10/08/2008 11:49

ooh, twinset, does that renting comment mean you are now down in deepest dorset????

I just thought of what we bought our very lively 6yo that actually seems to be working........a DS!!

seriously, best £100 we have ever spent on him.

I still want the trampoline too, but DH is against them due to space and grass issues....

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SuperSillyus · 10/08/2008 11:50

Sounds like my 5 year old. My 3 year old and 17month old are much more laid back and easy.

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 10/08/2008 11:52

Wow. Does sound just like ds1.

(not sure if he is very very clever but he is definitely socially immature)

I try to socialise him a lot - I will take in any local waif and stray for the day, baby sit for the afternoon, whatever, as long as I can keep him seeing his peers regularly. It seems to keep him grounded. I know I get a bit odd iff I only see the kids for a few days, so it makes sense that he does too.

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twinsetandpearls · 10/08/2008 12:05

I don't think if meant that she was very socially immature for her age but that she was cognitively a few years older but emotionally perhaps a little behind because of her difficult start.

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twinsetandpearls · 10/08/2008 12:15

Yes I have done much the same biggermanprison. I took her to lots of playgroups and now have friends to play as often as possible. Yes psychomum am now in Dorset, hence having to mumsnet on my mobile. She would like a trampoline. We may get her one.

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StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 10/08/2008 12:32

Sounds just like my 7yo. Just had an awful weekaway with my mum who isn't used to my dd and nowsheseems to think dd has "behavioural problems". I just think that its normal and probably a bit worse than usual at the minute due to holidays.

She talks rubbish non-stop and loudly. We were on a boat the other day and she spent 2 hours bouncing up and down, swimging on and off myknee while cooing loudly like a demented pigeon. I did feel sorry for others on the boat.

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twinsetandpearls · 10/08/2008 12:40

Perhaps there is something in that stripeyknickers.

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Podrick · 10/08/2008 12:41

I find the constant singing and dancing completely and utterly fabulous...but dp doesn't share this appreciation!

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twinsetandpearls · 10/08/2008 12:48

Yes have to admit she does get to dp more than me.

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Podrick · 10/08/2008 12:54

We like nature walks...quite calming

Normally we leave dp alone for some peace and I just go with dd.

What about Stagecoach? That is about 2.5 hours on a Saturday morning.

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pgwithnumber3 · 10/08/2008 13:00

twinset, do you have my DD1 living with you? Sounds like EXACTLY the same child.

It can be very hard to live with and we have learnt we have to be quite strict with her as she is quite a volatile child (not hitting or anything but just answers back a hell of a lot). She too is very popular in school, even with children 2 years ahead as she is loads of fun.

With regards to the activeness, we just have to live with it but I am trying to introduce some quiet time where she doesn't leap around after say 6.30pm.

First thing we bought when we got a house with a bigger garden was a trampoline and I am going to invest in one of these so she can climb to her heart's content.

I have accepted that she is an exuberant child and her teacher told me that such children tend to do well as they are competitive and yearn to achieve.

Have you thought about gymnastics?

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twinsetandpearls · 10/08/2008 13:05

I had thought about stagecoach but she wants to carry on with her horse riding and re start her dancing . She is also learning the guitar and keyboard with dp as she wants to be a part time rock star. She is also into fashion and loves to draw designs and make them up with me. When not being a rockstar she wants to be a designer! I have also been doing some painting with her which she is loving and encourages her to sit calmly.

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twinsetandpearls · 10/08/2008 13:11

Pgwithnumber3 we have the same child. She also answers back and older children love her. Her best friend is twelve,albeit a quite naive 12. We took her to a holiday club on friday to make friends and she was an instant hit again particularly with older children. We are trying boardgames,cards and jigsaws of an evening.

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twinsetandpearls · 10/08/2008 13:18

She would love that climbing frame. She is currently staging her version of high school musical for the cows at the bottom of our garden.

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pgwithnumber3 · 10/08/2008 15:04

Ahh, HSM, DD1 also loves that! She has a High School Musical bed cover and fleece blanket and woe be tide if I dare to put her lovely Dorma throw or Laura Ashley duvet cover on instead.

This is how I would describe DD1:

Active, verging on hyper;
loves to be doing, hates to be bored;
hates "normal" girl's toys, i.e dolls, dolls houses, prams etc; loves to be outdoors, getting grubby, watering the grass/plants;
doesn't like to sit still, even when watching the TV she would rather sit on the steps in the kitchen than on a chair;
Talks non-stop, constantly asking questions like "how old is he/she, when will they be 18?";
Is the opposite to a loner, needs to have company, if I go upstairs for more than 5 mins, she shouts me;
If she wants to do activities, they usually involve making a mess, painting etc;
Is excellent at sports, has been able to do a cartwheel with a round off at the end since the age of 3, won every race at her Sports Day by a mile;
Plays people off on the other, has favourites;
Will mix very easily with children of all ages.

The list could go on, I wonder if your DD is similar?

Basically, nothing is ever easy with her, she shouts a lot (without meaning to), she will screech if the baby is screeching, we are constantly having to tell her to be quiet.

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pgwithnumber3 · 10/08/2008 15:10

I agree twinset regarding being an only child as DD1 was an only child for 5 years and was indulged far too much, I don't mean with gifts etc but with time. Now people may say I am wrong but I believe a child can have TOO much attention and needs to learn to play on their own. With DD1 I was always striving to be the perfect mother (she was a much wanted IVF baby) and never left her alone for 5 mins. I would make everything for her (car/house/kitchen made out of huge cardboard boxes, we would paint them ourselves). I felt guilty if she was sitting playing on her own. I do blame myself for her not being able to go off alone in her room and just play.

With DD2, I tend to leave her to her own devices playing if she is happy and not get in her face. I will also do the same as I did with DD1 like making things, baking etc but not ALL day long!

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HonoriaGlossop · 10/08/2008 15:18

Apart from the last bit about mean and argumentative, you are describing what sounds like a gorgeous, normal, enchanting child. How lovely that she talks and sings, and jumps about and tries to do flips etc; that is all exactly what she needs to do to learn and develop

She sounds like a blessing, honestly

I take it that it doesn't quite feel that way to you, though otherwise you might not have posted?! Are you ok - in yourself? Stressed? Got support during summer hols?

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pgwithnumber3 · 10/08/2008 15:22

I do think the summer holidays make you a bit frazzled when you have an active child. I was sounding off to my mum the other day as I find it hard to get out with having 5 years between my 2 and being pregnant. Not because I cannot get out per se, because I can't take her to the places (like the fair etc) where she would really like to go.

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twinsetandpearls · 10/08/2008 16:47

I was exactly the same with my dd as a baby pgnumber3. When she was born I was in a very unhappy marriage and poured all my energy into being a perfect mum. She was never alone, even when doing housework she was in a sling. I was then admitted into a mother and baby unit with her so for four months I had nothing to do but play with her. Even when we got our own place I would get up at the crack of dawn to do all the housework so I could play with her all day. Even when I started work I took her to work.

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twinsetandpearls · 10/08/2008 16:56

She is a delight and I hope I am not coming across as wanting her to be a different child. She is a real charactar and dp and I Often talk about the fact that although she is hard work we would not change for the world. She is going to grow into am amazing young woman who will make her mark. It is just hard work, while she is awake I do not get a minutes piece. We were in the car just now and she started to chatter on about the fact that she can talk about anything she then started listing her topics.

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Podrick · 10/08/2008 17:34

I can honestly say that I find this character trait enchanting.

Dp absolutely doesn't and I struggle to comprehend why!!! I guess we are all different but I do think he is missing out on one of the complete delights of parenthood.

I work part time and also have some regular time to myself without my dd so we are not together 24/7. I completely adore her company - I know these are precious days, days when she LOVES to be with me and they will not last.

I would have much more of a problem dealing with the meanness and argumentativeness you describe than with the singing and dancing!

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pgwithnumber3 · 10/08/2008 18:20

twinset, you sound like you had it hard when your DD was young, I suppose she may have picked up on a few of your anxieties (as my DD1 did with me, I too had a hard time (not like you though), living far away from family and friends and feeling very very lonely), this probably makes them slightly more highly strung BUT nature is what it is, she was always going to be this way and you have to nurture her to the best you can. As you say, you love her for what she is but it doesn't make it any less easy. I think it always helps if you see you are not the only one who has a child verging on hyperactive!

I find that the summer holiday is the worst for me with DD1 as in it is a constant stream of trying to entertain her along with looking after a large house and 10.5 month baby (as well as being pregnant). I then start to feel ever so slightly resentful towards her as in she will not occupy herself for 5 mins and I can take my frustration out on her by being very sharp and short. We are all human and can only take so much of constantly being mithered(sp?). I am sure they will get easier as they get older.

My main problem with DD1 is that she always has to do the opposite to what you request, if I ask her to get me DD2's bottle, she will say "where, I can't see it?" when it is in front of her. It is a battle of wills more than anything. She enjoys to see people snap in a way. She does it with her best friend.

When you say your DD is being mean, in what way, to you or her peers? My DD can be pretty mean to her best friend and I often wonder how they can be so close. I tell her repeatedly that her behaviour is wrong and she loses privileges if she carries it on but it is like she cannot help it. She is also mean in a very understated way to her sister, she won't give her the time of day, which is quite upsetting. I know when DC3 arrives she will probably transfer her "meanness" to the new baby and be nice to DD2. All very frustrating.

In the 5 mins it has taken me to type this, I was upstairs on the bed on the laptop and DD was downstairs watching Peppa Pig, she has been up 3 times to see if I was still here.

Is your DD a big eater?

Sorry for such a long post - I am glad to talk to someone with a child so like mine!

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