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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

I know you can't help, it's just an exhausted sob into the ether.

56 replies

ThatBigGermanPrison · 27/07/2008 09:27

Ds1 is 5, and he kept me awake until midnight last night, moaning, complaining, wandering around, fiddling, demanding to sleep in my bed, blah blah blah

Ds2, who slept solidly all night, got up at 5.45.

This is just an extreme version of a pattern that is getting worse and worse and worse. Ds2 has always been an early riser, ds1 has always been hard to settle (sibnce ds2 was born) because I can't actually shut him in his room - he screams and wakes ds2 up.

Does anyone have a clue how I can synchronise their sleep patterns?

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 27/07/2008 10:18

I think I may have to seperate them, as you say.

I am certainly going to start getting him up at 6 like his brother.

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3littlefrogs · 27/07/2008 10:19

Yes - it might well be relevant. Who is assessing him? Perhaps they could advise re the sleep situation?

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 27/07/2008 10:25

It was a psychiatrist of some description. I don't know, I was loathe to interfere or lead it in any way, to be honest.

I cannot help thinking that this is the playschool's fault for making a jhuge fuss of a 3 year old who didn't want to sit in a room full of toys he only saw twice a week and play tea parties with the key worker. I really do think it's avalanched.

I have great respect for early years professionals but this particular woman is a dolt.

but then ..... he doesn't ever sit down. Not compared to the way other children sit down!

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3littlefrogs · 27/07/2008 10:32

Things that have helped my very active boys calm down:

Classical music - as played in spas, relaxation classes etc.
Story tapes/cds
Massage before bed time, particularly with lavender oil - as practiced in Asia where it is considered a normal technique to encourage children to sleep in the less than comfortable, hot conditions.
Star charts/ rewards for staying in their rooms/quietly.

Not saying you have to try any of these things, but all of them helped me.

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FabioThatFirggingCat · 27/07/2008 10:52

Sorry, earlier x-posted with the 'night night' thing. Fair point about the potty - I was thinking if he's just squeezing a few drips out it wouldn't be so bad, but if he's pooing the only solution would be to move his bed into the bathroom...

So, more details about playschool please. And what does his dad have to say about him being up half the night? Because if he can say words to the effect of, if you're a good boy tonight and stay in your room tomorrow I will do/bring x. X could be 2p for his piggy bank so he can save up for a bag of Haribo, or an extra story at bedtime. What usually goes on when exdp is there - run around the park, tea, bath, quiet stories and bed? Do you and exdp do it together? Sorry, that sounds v nosey and pushy! OBviously, don't give details you're not happy about divulging, don't mean to sound like a finickity old baggage even though I am one.

And I'm with you on Sophie the guinea pig.

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 27/07/2008 15:50

he's just finished reception, so I may be sticking my head in my sand about his 'hyperactive behavior' at playschool.

When his dad comes, I get on with cooking the dinner and sorting washing upstairs and mumsnet - stuff I can't do in the day because they fight so much.

his dad comes at 5, dosses about with them until I serve dinner, sits with them, helping and supervising (sometimes I eat with them, sometimes I need to get away), then either playing in the living room or bathtime, then he reads ds2 a story and he goes to bed (7pm) then he plays board games, reads stories, does colouring with ds1 until bedtime. Sometimes I join in with this. Sometimes we all play the playstation and this makes no discernable difference to his behavior at night.

Ex then takes him to bed, brush teeth etc.

Then ex goes home, and 10 minutes later, every night, I get "Mummy? I need to tell you something - I have a stomach ache/head ache/toe ache/need a poo/am hungry/thirsty /bored/tired/not tired *delete as appropriate.

And last night it went on for 4 hours. I don't know how he keeps it up.

I think tonight, for a start he's not having any supper. I think it's fueling him. Next, I am using a large polystyrene egg and some crepe paper to decorate is as a bribe - stay in bed and you can do this tomorrow. Lastly, I will put a chair outside his bedroom door, and sit on it until he stays in his bed (doing rapid return)

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Notyummy · 27/07/2008 16:05

Sounds like a good plan...let us know how you get on. Will keep fingers crossed for you!

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 27/07/2008 21:14

He's at it again

"I need to tell you sumpin!! I am talkin to youuuuu!"

[breather]

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Phil75 · 27/07/2008 21:14

Can't wait to hear how you get on tonight. My DS1 is doing exactly the same and we're desperate too. Am praying to god you have a breakthrough to give me some hope!

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 27/07/2008 21:17

Currently, he is sitting on the stairs, demanding to tell me something, while I fail to respond in any way.

I am going to lead him back to bed without eye contact now.

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 27/07/2008 21:30

still wandering around, demanding to come and sit with me

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 27/07/2008 21:45

still wandering around.

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 28/07/2008 06:40

Ds1 finally settled at about half past 11

however, ds2 has been up for 15 minutes now.

I really cannot keep going in this way, my house is a pit, I go on holiday in 5 days and I'm too exhausted to do anything about it.

Have woken ds1 up too.

I walked them for MILES yesterday, it's not lack of exercise, WHY won't he SLEEP at night?

Or at least leave me alone and let me sleep?

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lizziemun · 28/07/2008 07:17

Have you spoken to your doctor about this.

I had a similar probelm with dd1 when she was about 2.6yrs and we tried piriton (on doctor advice) for a 3 nights to break the habit of her gettign up every 5mins for 4hours.

It helped to break the habit and she was sleeping from 7pm to 6.30am.

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 28/07/2008 07:20

I don't really know what the doctor will say - once he's asleep, he's asleep (except last night he came and woke me up at about 4am, but this is admittedly unusual for him) and he will generally sleep for about 10 hours, which is average for his age. He will lie in in the morning you see (if I let him. Which I'm no longer going to)

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Notyummy · 28/07/2008 09:01

Sorry it didn't go well. I think the idea about getting him up early has got to be a good one as it may tire him out more. The piriton idea also sounds interesting....

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Phil75 · 28/07/2008 12:08

Sorry to hear it didn't go well. Same in our house. Eventually fell asleep at top of stairs at 10pm after shouting down the stairs all evening. We carried him to bed but found him asleep outside our bedroom at 5am. He happily admits there's nothing wrong, he just doesn't want to go to bed. Tonight we're going to let him stay up a bit later while DS2 goes to sleep and then try again. For all the good it'll do...

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 28/07/2008 19:25

Ahhhh phil, are you getting that horrible feeling of dread?

I am

At least when I go on holiday next week I can take him out partying until11pm and he won't be unhappy or too tired!

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Phil75 · 28/07/2008 19:43

How's it going so far tonight? I'm sitting with him on sofa watching Scooby Doo. Have explained for umpteenth time how this will work. 8 o'clock is now official grown-up time. Ha bloody ha. Will keep you posted! Maybe you and I could have a race to see whose will drop first.

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Phil75 · 28/07/2008 20:06

Ah, here we go again. For a flicker of a minute I thought we might have a chance tonight, but no.

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 28/07/2008 20:43

Well, I have just come down from reading a story to him in his bed.

I've explained that I am Not Talking About Anything - and as I got him up at half past 6, he only had 7 hours sleep last night (not that you would know it)

He's been playing in the garden all day

He's had lots of positive attention from me

and he's quiet.

But also, his dad hasn't been here tonight and I will be very if that's what it takes - obviously am not going to stop his dad visiting.

I'll let you know if he's still quiet in 20 minutes!

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 28/07/2008 20:44

Oh God, ds2 is awake oh GOD NO!

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 28/07/2008 21:09

They are both asleep, quiet as mice. HURRAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Phil, try getting him up at 6 tomorrow. Don't let him nap and give him lots of outdoors, then read him a long story in a dark room (and make him lie down while you read).

It's worked well for us and I hope it works for you!

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crazycrofter · 28/07/2008 21:14

Hi, my DD (age 4) is exactly the same - although the worst we've had this week is 11.30, so not quite as bad! Is he like it during term time? My DD has been like this for the last 3 summers (even when she wasn't at pre-school, so the only difference during the summer holiday was that her dad wasn't at work - I still work in the holidays!). I think it's a combination of the light/hot evenings and lack of normal routine. She's loathe to go to bed even in term time and messes around till it drives me to distraction, but she's definitely worse in the summer holidays. And if she has so much as a 5 minute nap in the car in the afternoon, she is guaranteed to be awake till 10. It's so frustrating, but like you I was the same as a child and I don't find it easy to settle now.

I tried story tapes but they make her worse - I am fed up of Noddy this week, after hearing it on repeat all evening!

Sorry to be of no help but glad it's not just me who's still on duty after 8pm!

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Phil75 · 28/07/2008 22:04

Hark at you and your sleeping children!! Are you telling the truth? You must be jumping for joy. Ours was relatively good. Only shouted for half an hour, then fell asleep at top of stairs at 9pm, so time-wise, that's a big result. Will deffo go for longer story tomorrow. Ooh, do we see the end in sight? Was it watching Scooby Doo that made the difference? Or the fact that I've got a cold and not very nice to be around anyway? Hmm.

And crazycrofter... I think you're probably right about the light evenings. It certainly can't help can it? Hope you're having a peaceful evening too.