Do you have a gifted child?

[bellababe]

If so, what in, at what age did you realise that s/he was gifted, and how? And what did you do about it?

[Eulalia]

coppertop - ds never had hyperlexia although it does seem common with autistic kids. However he has taken to reading and writing very quickly and is above average. He does really well considering he finds guessing things out of context really hard. He was even trying to read my library book the other day. However he is struggling at arithmetic just doesn't seem to get it at all. I just hope it clicks some day.

Well reading through here doesn't look as if dd is particularly ahead with her reading but is still so with the physical side. However its hard to judge 2 and 3 year olds as often one aspect of their development happens first at the expense of another but the other bit catches up eventually.

[Gwenick]

Beetroot - which school are your kids at Wells or St. Mary's??

[Gwenick]

OK beetroot - shall do - can understand not wanting to tell everyone

[piffle]

a note about bullying, my ds did suffer from being bullied a lot in yr 5 name calling, violence - pinched pushed trodden on, isolated etc
I pulled him out of school for a while, as he was specifically targeted for being a know it all (he does not like to hide his light under a bushel- if he knows the answer he'll say he does)
The only way we worked through it was for the school to watch the playground better to stop the abuse
This is why the ed psych suggested private ed as he may be more comfortable in a more expectative academic environment. This remains to be seen, he is in a much smaller primary school now in yr 6 and is very very happy in that school.
Socially I do think he is immature at times though...

[jabberwocky]

Have revived this thread as dh and I seem to be in constant disagreement about ds's future schooling. He is 20 months, was a very early walker (8.5 months) and talker. Learned all his letters from reading the Dr. Seuss ABC book and the magnetic letters on the fridge. He can count to 7, knows all his colors and seems to find any physical challenge quite easy. My concern is about putting him in public school. We live in a small town and the No Child Left Behind Act here in the states has forced schools to concentrate on bringing children who are behind up to speed and has sucked out many resources for children who are more advanced. There are no private schools near us but we do have a really good home schooling network in the area. DH is adamant that home schooling would be a detriment to ds's socialization skills. He does very well in play dates already and I have promised to work just as hard at his socializing activities as his academic ones. Has anyone else home schooled? Any research etc. that you know of? I would really like to give dh something to look at and feel I should learn as much as possible myself before embarking on this path.

[crazyandconfused]

Sorry to lighten the conversation but my kids are very gifted at driving me mad and making me giggle while I am trying desparetly to repremand them(I know, I'm pathetic)
I really do hope that whatever you cxhoose your child will thrive from it good luck and let us know how you get on XX

[SkiBunnyFlummy]

Nah mine are quite thick actually. I tell people that they are dyslexic or have ADS (think lots of people do that actually), but really they are just a bit slow and dim.

They are nice enough though!

[GhostofNatt]

No, mine don't do much either apart from be silly and quite funny but that's ok with me. DS1 decided he might eb the world's greatest farter the other day

[jabberwocky]

Fair enough, ladies . Was hesitant to revive a thread like this, but would really like some insight on the situation. I can remember hating school because it was either too boring or I got teased at for making good grades. I don't want to put my hang-ups on ds, but also hate to see him go through that.

[SkiBunnyFlummy]

I think school is an invaluable leveller. and an invaluable socialiser. however much effort you make to socialise your kid they will still be teased for not going to school.

a good private school probably best idea if you can afford it.

otherwise I would say state school


also jeeeeeezus don't you want a life of your own!!!

[GhostofNatt]

On a more serious note, jabberwocky, i had a horrible time being dientified as "gifted" in US school system, skipping grades etc so can udnerstand why you are thinking of home schooling. Just don't knwo anything about it...

[jabberwocky]

Yes, dh has this idea of a whole bunch of "granola moms" with odd little children...

The problem is that all of the private schools near us are Christian and I would don't want to go that route. Have talked to dh about moving somewhere else when the time comes, but that seems so extreme.

[Issymum]

Yes. Doesn't everybody?

[Peachyclair]

My ds1 is 'gifted' I guess, but ti has come with a raft of other problems including what is probably Aspergers (assessment Friday).

He is advanced in language, maths, sports, art (not music but we're not a musical bunch and mysic isnt taught much here, so he hasnt been exposed). School says he is brightest theyve met. We would move him as they struggle, but cant afford private, and I'm not sure that home schooling would be right for his social development, much as I'm tempted.

School said he's impossible to interest for long because he graps something and just runs with it, and he can be very rude at times, because he has this idea I think that he is better than other. people.

If I could have ds1 without the problems, I'd happily sacrifice his gifts, he'd be much happier.

[jabberwocky]

I have occasionally worried about this as he has a tendency to be rather finicky aobut things. Hoping this is just inheriting my tendency towards perfectionism - although that is not a good trait either, I know, but at least one that is a bit easier to address.

[Issymum]

Sorry Jabberwocky, I read the first couple of messages on this thread and didn't see your update. There is a huge amount on the Web about Home Educating and it is a such a large movement in the US that I don't think you would be stuck for resources (although they may be expensive) or for opportunities to socialise with other home educators.

You said: "The problem is that all of the private schools near us are Christian and I would don't want to go that route." From the little I know about home education in the US, religion, particularly more fundamental forms of Christianity, seems to be the biggest motivator for parents to withdraw their children from the school system. So if you are looking to socialise/share resources etc. with other home educators, you might find yourself in an even tighter, smaller Christian community.

[jabberwocky]

Ooh, Issymum, hadn't thought of that. I know there is a Pagan group somewhere around, but you may have a good point. Maybe moving isn't such an extreme idea after all. Dh has a house in Woodstock NY that we rent out. Have mentioned to him that may be an option later. Definitely a progressive area there!

[chipmonkey]

Jabberwocky, I really think that in some ways your dh could be right about the "socialisation" aspect of things. My ds1 is very bright put also very inattentive in school, perhaps because he was very advanced in reading before he started and got a little bored. He had difficulty socialising but I think that if he had not gone to school this might not have been picked up, because one-on-one with other kids he's fine, its just in groups that he had problems. However, this was addressed in school. A small group of children were taken out of class for coaching in this area and as a result he has really come out of his shell and is now very popular. I think if this had been left until he was older we might not have seen the same results.

[chipmonkey]

PS, also it can be good to get a teachers perspective on things. Sometimes they are more objective when looking at your childs needs and can come up with things that you might not have thought of yourself.

[jabberwocky]

How do you feel about him getting the stimulation he needs Chipmonkey? Does he still get bored?

[chipmonkey]

Not any more. He's 8 now and they're doing more creative writing, science etc. He loves it now.

[zebraX]

I am also American...was also tagged as "gifted" as a child, Jabberwocky. It was awful. the gifted programmes were terrible, pathetic, really. Led to me always feeling like I let everyone down because I didn't do spectacularly well at school (quite the reverse, I really didn't give a toss).

My niece is "gifted"... she was sent to the same primary school I attended as a child because of it's so called "mentally gifted minors" prgramme. She was bullied (like I had been, ironically) -- her mother was told by the principal that it was "a rite of passage". And I strongly suspect (my own experience) that the MGM extra-curricular programmes are/were still pretty pathetic. Then she was sent to a very bright kid's fee-paying school (this is in San Diego). They chucked her out because she admitted to suicidal feelings (she was 13 and has had a very unstable upbringing). Now she is failing her high school classes because she won't do homework, but passes all her tests with A grades even though she barely pays attention. Not sure why I say all that, but even schools that are supposed to cater for gifted kids may not offer anything at all special.


My aunt is home-educating, very much for religious (Christian) reasons.

A cousin (not religious) has chosen a Montesorri education for her bright son, might be worth looking in to.

[jabberwocky]

Oh, thanks, ZebraX, you really do understand what I'm up against here! I have such hurtful memories of primary school - things seemed to get better in secondary for whatever reason - that I just shudder to put ds through that just for "socialization". There is a Montessori school about an hour away. It might just be the ticket.

[expatinscotland]

Yes. She is so filled with joy. Things I took for granted thrill her. I was gifted with her by God after a long struggle in life.