Do you have a gifted child?

[bellababe]

If so, what in, at what age did you realise that s/he was gifted, and how? And what did you do about it?

[medusamum]

Have to agree with happymerryberries about the school issue for gifted kids and I wouldn't wish one on anyone. Very bright or artistically gifted kids suffer greatly as they don't fit in and are treated with suspicion by their peers. On the upside I have spent 16 years being fully entertained by my ds and we have many late night conversations about the world, the universe and everything.

[Gwenick]

Like someone said a tricky one.

I've never considered my DS1 to be particularly bright or talented (although he's got an excellent ear for music - singing nursery ryhme tunes 'in tune' at 2yrs old). And I've always thought he was going to be one of those 'middle' kids - you know, gets decent marks, but doens't really stand out as being gifted or talented.

However, since he started nursery last September and having his 'oberservation (AcE - one if anyone's interested LOL) and he's come back with an 'average' score of 4.5 (out of 5) and read the comments about what he does at nursery I'm completely gobsmacked! He's been doing exceptioinally well - which does worry me a little.

I went to a specialist music school from 12yrs old - but for the 2yrs before that I was at a mainstream middle school where I was most definitely 'singled' out as being different from the rest - I was bullied almost constantly and my life was hell.

Obviusly at the end of the day ALL children have a talent - it's just a case of finding it

[suedonim]

If we're talking Ruth Lawrence-type gifted, then I think children like her are few and far between. But all children have gifts of varying kinds and the best we can do is encourage them to reach their potential in whatever way suits them.

My boys are now grown up and I must say that over the years it's been interesting to see how they and their peers have evened out in achievement. They're all now between 25 and 30 and even the ones who were the very brightest at school are now things like accountants, chemical engineers, doctors, teachers, managers - everyday kind of jobs, really, though of course very valuable. In the meantime, I think both ds's are on course to be perpetual students, they're both doing PhD's. Luckily, dh and I are not funding them!

[tex111]

I would say that my DS is advanced for his age but he's only 2.6 so I don't want to start putting labels on him. He certainly did things like walking, talking, learning colours, his ABCs, etc long before his peers and we've just discovered that he's memorised some of the books that we read to him regularly. Even quite wordy ones like The Polar Express.

As I child I was given the 'Gifted' label and put in special classes. The classes were absolutely brilliant and so much more challenging and stimulating than regular school. The main drawback that I've realised over the years is when children are given labels like that it creates an expectation both in the parents and in the children themselves. I had a very rough time when I left school and realised that, yes, I was perhaps a bit brighter than many of my peers but that didn't mean that I was going to set the world on fire. Suedonim makes a good point about things evening out over the years. It's certainly been very true in my case.

[KateandtheGirls]

HMC, what's your problem?

[happymerryberries]

I was wondering the same thing. If the point was direct to me I can only repeat what I said. Exceptional children (and they are few and far between and are something different to 'clever'....I have a 'clever' child myself but she is not exceptional) can have difficulties in school just like children with other special needs. Now, I am not saying that the consequences of not meeting those needs will be the same as with children with other difficulties, but there will be consequences.

At present I am teaching two exceptional boys. They are both working at a level many years ahead of their actual age. Another teacher working with one of them has said he his the brightest boy he has taught in over 30 years of teaching. THis boy is isolated in class, not just because he has ASD, but because no-one in the class (except me) understands what he is going on about. He needs more than I can give him, just like the child I teach of 13 who has a reading age of 6.

Why is it that poeple except that the needs of people who are very talented in sport etc should be met, but feel uncomfortable at fulfilling the potential of the exceptionaly academic?

I see it as my job as a teacher to bring out the best in all my studets (for what it is worth I am begining to specialise in SN), but to do that I have to recognise the abilities that they all have.

[tex111]

I'm still learning about the English school system so do you mind if I ask a couple of questions? Are there special classes for G&T in state schools? If a child is very advanced do they get accelerated such as skipping a year?

Just interested as these are tactics I've seen used in Texas. The special classes are great but skipping grades seemed to cause problems. The choldren were often advanced in many ways but still lacking in the maturity necessary to fit in with older children.

I do agree that G&T kids can need some special treatment. I remember one boy in particular at school who was a real trouble maker. Turns out he had an IQ of 166 and was just bored out of his mind. Once he started going to a special class a week and getting some stimulation he was a changed child. Made it much easier for everyone, teachers and students.

[roisin]

Tex111 - acceleration is very unusual in the UK, though it is used widely in Australia, and as you say in the US. There is no conclusive research that acceleration actually has an beneficial effect in the longrun, and as you say, for some children can contribute to social difficulties.

But it can be useful in rare individual circumstances - for example with a girl who is one of the oldest in her year.

G&T provision in the UK is patchy, but 'best practice' seems to be centred around enrichment and extension opportunities - both within the classroom setting (as Hmb describes) and extra-curricular activities.

[lavenderr]

my ds is exceptionally good at drawing and has been from a very early age (always a crayon in his hand as a toddler) he doesn't do extra art classes outside school as I have asked him about this and he isn't interested. What we do though is display a lot of his drawings on the kitchen walls (you can't see the paintwork) and units so that he knows we are proud of him. We encourage him by giving access to charcoals, art pencils and art drawing books. He says he wants to be an artist with his own studio one day and we talk about it a lot. He is a lovely boy with many talents but I think art is his thing and we will be positive and encouraging all the time I hope.

dd is an all rounder, very bright and good at a lot of things. She has a beautiful voice which we only found out about when she was in the Christmas nativity play. We have asked her if she wants to join the choir, she doesn't...so we let her have her cd player in her bedroom and she sings a lot. I always ask ds and dd if they want to partake in after school activities and take it from there ...just encourage and not push them I think.

[Cam]

suedonim I think your list of jobs is far from ordinary and proves that your sons, etc are very bright! The playing field may appear to level out as who is testing people once they leave school/university? But adults display just as much differentiation as do children IMO. It's rare that I can find as intelligent discussions in RL as I can on m/net, for example

[heyenidyouvelostweight]

galaxy and mummylonglegs, I also have a 2.3 year old chatterbox - says things like (while scratching head) "Hmm, I've got an idea, why don't you all stop making so much noise and then I can concentrate" - and yet is very clumsy and uncoordinated and can't run without falling over, poor lamb

[EnlightenedFlum]

Yes she has a very special skill of emptying cupboards. I know lots of littlies do it. But:

Mine does it:

faster
quieter
more methodically

than any others I have seen.

She's 11 months.

We are VERY proud.

[piffle]

my ds is now 10 and I knew very early on he was an advanced ie significantly ahead of his age group and peers.
I just nourished and nurtured his curiousity, exposed him to as much as I could, read to him ceaselessly and played with him endlessly, I was a single mum and he did not sleep much so we did a lot of everything together.
He talked very early, sentences before he was 1, was reading himself by 3 and adding and subtracting ridiculusly early ie before reading.
He has remained pretty amazing throughout schooling, I'd be a bad mother if I had not acknowledged his being different, I am not smug or anything about it, now I have a dd 2 with possible special needs, I seek help for her needs as I did for my sons.
I guess the earliest thing that really twigged me was at about 2 mths old when he was sat up in bouncy chair operating a fisher price activity gym pretty successfully
btw he was early walker and crawler etc too plus very tall....
and of course he is stunningly beautiful! Currently struggling under burden of being school counsellor, prefect and playground buddy!
Last yr we moved from Hants to Lincs in order to be near a top grammar school, an ed psych said if could afford private education we should consider it for him, we couldn't but did the next best thing we hope...
Only time will tell where he goes from here though!

[piffle]

reminded me he got called a freak by his teacher once, wasn't too bloody impressed with that, labels can be unfortunate for kids in a way, one of the reason we turned down being put up a year in yr 4, socially he is not adept at all and his physical sport skills are DIRE! He is left handed too.
To be honest I think I've enjoyed parenting dd a little more as I can relax around her and introduce her to new things whereas with DS I was dragged into mathematical and scientific worlds I did understand...
It's funny, until you actually have children with such huge "differences" for want of a better word, you would bet you feel differently about them, but you don't. Infact it could be fair to say that I have gained more from dd's achievements as they have been harder for her to come by and she worked much harder to get there.
Food for thought isn't it?

[SkiBunnyFlummy]

I don't think early learning denotes giftedness though. I think children learn things at different ages but doesn't mean they will end up any better than others.

I didn't learn to read until I was 7. And have a degree and am a Chartered Accountant. (lack of judgement perhaps but reasonably bright)

[serenequeen]

hi flum

i'm a chartered accountant too. when i was doing my training, the real brainiac in the class didn't learn to read till he was 12!

[piffle]

but it is pretty likely that a child who learns and masters say language, reading, numbers etc early will be more likely to excel early than a child who doesn't - I would have assumed this.
That is not to say that the skills cannot be learned later and be bettered later.
People/children who know the value of working hard to achieve something can often get more in the end, my son for instance has never had to work so when the tests come which they will, he is probably in for a rude shock, I am not sure whether he will rise to the challenge or crumple...

[Cam]

Yes, you could say that learning to play the system (in whatever context) gets you further in most areas of life than being brainy.

[SkiBunnyFlummy]

Nah piffle, he will be fine. I have never made much effort with anything in my life. I am 'effortly challenged' but I've done ok.

But it doesn't matter because my Dad always says ' You come from a long line of low achievers so anything you do do is great'.

I actually think many gifted children have problems with other areas of life. Its as if all the ability is squished into one area at the expense of others.

I hopw mine are allrounders, but who knows.

[SkiBunnyFlummy]

HI Serene Queen by the way. Hope you don't hate it as much as me. I am a frustrated couch potato.

[suedonim]

I think the labelling aspect is very pertinent. My niece was very bright, reading at 3yo blah-de-blah, but it had all just evaporated by the time she went to senior school. As parents, dh and I have wanted our children to achieve what they're capable of, but their happiness has always been the no1 priority. I've seen the effects of children being more-or-less being forced into certain subjects at uni (or even going to uni in the first place) and it just doesn't work if their heart isn't in it.

Cam, I wasn't meaning to denigrate those jobs, it's just that none of those very bright children has gone on to find a cure for cancer or solve world poverty or end global warming, which is the sort of thing I naively assume gifted people do! I'm currently reading a book about the development of penicillin, post-Fleming. It's a struggle for me to understand the concepts of how they achieved it so I'm in awe of the fearsome brain power of those scientists.

[Jimjams]

I think it has been said here already- but if you havea child who has an exceptional ability then often it is at the detriment of something else. DS1 for example is exceptionally muscially gifted. By 15 months he could sing perfectly in tune, and still can. he can hear something one and sing it back. However he can't speak, and I suspect if he could he would lose his musical talent. having no language (well no sensible language) he can't be taught either so he can't really use his muscial talent (unless he decides to one day I guess).

Like only jokings son he's a whizz with magazines- knows exactly which hoover/washing machine advert is in which magazine. I don't so he gets very cross with me when I don't find the right one.

Ruth Lawrence is living a very ordinary life these days (as a mum)

I find ds2's all roundness much more reassuring. Who needs to sing perfectly in tune? Being able to ask for what you want is much more useful. I also know that if I passed out dead on the floor- at just 3 - he has the sense and resources to survive for quite a while safetly in the house. DS1 wouldn't last 2 seconds.

[fisil]

I think I've said this before, dp & I are both really glad that we got through our education without being labelled as gifted. We were very good at jumping through academic hoops, that's all.

We are amused by how good ds is at talking - hv at his 2 yr development check yesterday pointed to a picture of a hat and asked him what it was. While he was silent, she turned to us and said he might even start stringing a couple of words together soon. She turned back to him and said "do you put it on your feet?" and he said "no, you put it on your head. You put shoes on your feet or wellies for splashing." But as I pointed out to hv, the Beckhams will have got completely the opposite feedback to us at Romeo's 2 yr check! ds isn't really there physically, artistically, musically, but he can talk for England.

I feel the current G&T drive in schools has some good bits, but I'm not convinced how I'd feel if ds got sucked into the system when he's older.I want ds to be happy - that's what I want him to be gifted at!

[Gobbledigook]

"I want ds to be happy - that's what I want him to be gifted at!"

Me too Fisil! I don't think I've got 'gifted' children but ds1 (3.10) nursery teacher told me today that she's finding him exceptionally good at numbers and anything mathematical. It didn't surprise me as I'm very mathematical/scientific (though I wouldn't describe myself as 'gifted'!!!) - I'm very proud to hear this of course but actually, above all else, when he goes to school in September I want him to love it, make fabulous friends and be one of the crowd. I don't want him to stand out as being different as my worst fear is that he'd be bullied or thought a 'freak'!

The nearer it gets to my kids going to the school, the more important 'happiness' above all else becomes