I can't stand my 4 year old

[Qwertyuiop123abc]

As much as he’s a lovely boy, he can be an absolute nightmare.
He is currently screaming the house down and no doubt waking the neighbours at either side with his disgusting behaviour.
He is screaming because he wants to get in my bed and I’ve said no.

For the past 4 nights he has had me up in the night so many times and nothing stops it. It’s not that he’s even used to coming in my bed, that happens probably once every two months and is never an issue

He is EXTREMELY stubborn and will carry on for a good 30 minutes after I’ve completely ignored him.

I honestly feel like I could walk out of this house and never come back.
I’m sick to death of the screaming and then me losing it and shouting at him.

I feel like a shit mum and no doubt the neighbours think the same with what they will hear. I feel so ashamed

Whenever he cries he scream cries, even when not being naughty (just sad) and it is ear piercing. I honestly cannot stand the sound any longer and I feel like I hate him.
I know that I don’t really but when he does this I end up laying in bed wishing I was dead and that I didn’t have him to put up with it anymore.

I know it’s late and that probably nobody is up but I am desperately sad and fed up.

How can such a lovely and smart little boy be so awful?
I used to feel like I was a good mum and lately I feel like maybe I shouldn’t have him cause clearly I can’t cope anymore. I’ve lost all of my confidence as a parent and I’m so embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
Why can’t I do this anymore?

[TheBakeryQueen]

While his behaviour sounds undoubtedly hard, the biggest thing that stands out in your post is how depressed you come across. Have you been to the Gp? You sound at the end of your tether and like you really could do with some support.

[Atenco]

This sounds like a vicious circle, from the little you have written. You find him overwhelming and he senses your lack of love, which in turn makes him want your attention more.

Would it be the end of the world if you let him into your bed? I'm not judging, we've all been there.

[LongDivision]

What I found with DS is that his behaviour always was MUCH worse, and my tolerance had worn the most thin, right before he had a huge leap in development. Also he needed the most reassurance.
So, not to give false hope, but maybe he's on the edge of major improvement!

[B00m3rang]

Op I don't have any advice I'm afraid, but I can tell you I could have written your post word for word, so if it helps in any way, you are definitely not alone.

[uhoh2016]

I'm with you OP 🙁 my DS is getting put on eBay this morning

[Jessie1980]

Hi Op

Didn't want to read and run. I know its frustrating and especially in the night when all you want to do is sleep...😴

I used to put the pillow over my head to muffle the sound, it helped me block it.out.