Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

1 2 3

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Anyone used Warwick Dyer - behavioural consultant? Am really ballsing it up with my 9-year old.

67 replies

Tinker · 02/10/2006 12:44

I remember him from that Channel 4 documentary and wondered if anyone have delved into his techniques in any greater detail.

Am stuck in a cycle of very bad behaviour by both me and my 9 year old daughter and really need to tackle it, consistently.

Too much shouting, ranting (by both of us), she's starting to become violent. Don't know what tactics to use that will be effective. Know I have to change.

Can blame it on hormones (both of ours), new (ish) sister, my exhaustion, her sister's dad is not her dad etc etc etc but in the end, whatever it is, it needs to be tackled, calmly and consistently.

Anyone got any successful strategies for both of us? Thanks

OP posts:

Report

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 14/10/2006 14:37

Keep going, Tinker!

I haven't been able to post all week, as DS2 was in hospital, but wanted to add my support.

It WILL be worth it, but you've got to be consistent.

(I know you know that - and I also know it's easier said than done! )

I agree about getting your younger child involved too - a bit of healthy competition!

Glad it's all going well, flashingnose.

flashingnose · 14/10/2006 19:14

Sorry to hear about ds2 HC, hope it wasn't anything too serious

DS nearly lost it when we walked down to the newsagents to buy the cards and they'd run out! However, he did really well and kept a lid on his temper and frustration. Baby steps...

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 14/10/2006 22:36

That's brilliant news, FN.

DS2 is fine now thanks. He had a nasty viral infection, but he's much better. Now home and demanding as much attention as he got in hospital!

Glad to hear the technique is working for you and your DS.

Tinker · 15/10/2006 19:13

Glad your son's ok now hc

But how do I get a 16 month old involved? Lose a penny everytime you wake up at night/refuse food/take your shoes off?

OP posts:

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 15/10/2006 22:09

Hi Tinker - good point!

flashingnose · 16/10/2006 11:49

Ha ha

My biggest problem with this kind of system is remembering, so I've written up a chart with days across the top and names down the side, then written 10 in each box as the default IYKWIM. The 16 mth old could therefore get her money in her money box without you having to do anything. Just a thought.

If money isn't proving much of a motivation, can you equate the pennies to minutes of time doing an activity she really loves?

Tinker · 20/10/2006 19:31

We're still doing this. OK ish results, less major strops. Still leaves the bloody light on all the time though. Good idea about just giving the baby money - for nothing. That'll up the ante

OP posts:

Tinker · 24/10/2006 19:02

Still going but partner reckoning I'm not strict enough, too inconsistent. Too knackered really. Not good enough. [blus]

OP posts:

Tinker · 29/10/2006 19:41

I've been slacking on this How's everyone else doing? Don't mind really if I'm just talking to myself, I'll pretend it's Warwick.

OP posts:

Tinker · 31/10/2006 11:11

OK, know I am talking to myself but, after another huge row yesterday, realised I started this thread 28 days previously... and

OP posts:

smilingpolitely · 02/11/2006 12:17

Hi Ladies , I'm new to mumsnet and joined because of you lot x. I have a two dd 8 and 4 and a ds 10weeks. I was having major probs with my 8 yr old ( very surprised as I thought dd2 would be the prob) after birth of ds. I was very comforted to read about your problems too. Sorry I was just lurking and not joining in, so thought I better tell you that you are not talking to yourselves . fwiw I looked at the reviews of parenting books on here and liked the look of "How to Talk so your kids will listen and how to listen so your kids will talk". After looking at cost on Amazon and ebay, got it from local library for free ()! IT'S GREAT can't recommend it highly enough. We are getting on much better and the volume level has gone down. Not trying to be smug, definately not in a position to be, just wanted to let you know. xx

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 02/11/2006 12:19

Tinker - so sorry!

Been on so many threads that this one had dropped off my list!

How are you doing?

Tinker · 03/11/2006 19:26

Oh, I'm not upset at talking to myself, do it all the time

She's been mostly good this week. Probably because I've been off, fewer flashpoints...

OP posts:

MsUnderstood · 03/11/2006 19:34

I've definitely found that if I'm calmer my 9yo is calmer. And STAYING calm (easier said than done, I know) has meant that a few times recently he's actually apologised instead of escalating it. God, it's amazing but I'm beginning to realise that it's STILL all about attention, which, in my case, I expected less as he got older. Not so.

Tinker · 03/11/2006 19:36

Completely agree MsU

OP posts:

Toddssweets · 07/11/2006 22:30

Hello from the United States. I found this site by accident after trying to find some help with my ds who is 9 and was checking out Warwick Dyer site and thinking about buying the ebook. I know nothing about his technique but after reading this entire thread, I think I have somewhat of an idea on what it entails. I noticed that the system works with pennys and I am embarressed to say that my 9 year old ds wouldn't be impressed with 20 pennys a week and I am scared he would think it not worth changing his behavior to keep. When I read that this system works with other people's children, it makes me realize that I have a child who is spoiled and selfish. To any of you dear moms who are doing this program, would you suggest I buy the ebook and try it out?

JaclynJax · 21/10/2019 17:34

Since this comes up when you Google "Warwick Dyer penny method", (it's 2019 now), I'd like it to be known about a GREAT YouTube video on it❤️:

Flip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.