Dd is 4 and a half and has attended a private nursery since she was 3. She is due to move into the reception class in September.
For about 12 months now she has been saying that no-one will play with her at nursery. My Dad observed at a birthday party a small group of girls who would not take any notice of her. At this time dd had become attached to one of the girls.
Things improved when a friend who she knew from another activity started to go to her nursery. they are HUGE friends but if ever she is not there she says the other children don't like her and yesterday she said that this friend is now friends with the others rather than her.
The nursery staff say they do tend to have little groups but that they try and ensure everyone plays together and she seems happy.
We have been having a few behaviour issues athome and to be honest she can be a bit rough, well exuberant really but some children can't cope with that. She has become very defiant and will sometimes deliberately do the opposite of what you ask. On a few occasions ds (aged 2) has got in the way and been hurt.
She is forever singin and dancing, even when it is innapprioriate in confined spaces or when with a group of other children and her arms and legs are flailing about everywhere. She has also been naughty at Stagecoach a few times, mostly down to over enthusiasm but I think some of it is teacher's daughter syndrome.
I now think that she is desperate to gain popularity at nursery. One girl keeps asking me every day when I drop her dd if she can come to dd's party (her birthday isn't even until October)and yesterday she had a group of about 10 children all saying can I come too can I come too. it turned out she had taken a leaflet of the Hi-5 show we went to see at Easter and was telling everyone that she would take them all to see it (the tour has ended).
She genuinely thought she could take all these nursery children to see the show. It is like she was trying to win their popularity.
My main wish for her at nursery and school is to be happy. I keep wondering if I am doing the right thing sending her there, perhaps we are trying to be something we are not. I don't have much time to decide. I have already paid a non refundable deposit for her to start in reception class and we love the school, its ethos, the extra curricular activities on offer and the teaching staff.
However I don't want her to be the loner the one with no friends. She has her special friend and another girl has just started nursery part-time who we used to know and she used to know dd's other firned too so they have palled up, but there is no guarantee she will be in the same class as them (it is a 2 form entry).
I asked her if she wanted to go to that school or another one and she said she wanted to go there and for the children to be friends with her but I am wonderig whether some of her behaviour problems are attention seeking becasue of this. She has no problem making friends everywhere else.
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Concerns about dd, behaviour, nursery, friends etc Very Long
6 replies
julienetmum · 07/06/2006 11:51
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