BUT I have to say, I have been unable to work for 2 years due to my disability, and I have gone from a size 16 when I was working to a size 12 now. NOT through dieting, but to make sure my dc's are fed a varied diet and their 5 a day. I own no pets, I had a dog when I was working, when he passed away a year ago, I had to say to the DC's that we could no longer afford to keep a dog. And even when he was still here, and getting incontinent through age, it didn't mean I had to leave it there around my dc's like this family did. . And while I do smoke, I smoke roll-ups, and spend £3.50 a week now. When I was working I smoked 20 a day, proper pre-made cigs. I am trying to give up, have tried patches, didn't work, can't use champix due to my epilepsy, am trying to cut down with a view to giving up as I can't afford it.
BUT as for contraception etc, I was on the pill AND used a condom when I fell with DD, didn't take MAP as I (wrongly, at 15) assumed I would be covered by the pill when the condom split. Didn't know that antibiotics interfered with the pill. Also assumed as I was engaged, that my fiance didn't have someone ELSE pg at the same time.
So I started using the depo injection. Along came DS1. Then I decided to have the norplan implant, with a mirena coil for good measure. The implant didn't work, and DS2 CAME OUT holding the coil. . I have since been told that I am in the 0.1% of the population that hormonal contraception doesn't work for. I use condoms and hope for the best. As I would NEVER have a termination unless I had been raped. Sorry, don't need to justify that one. Freedom of choice. This isn't hitler's germany, no-one gets to enforce terminations or sterilisations on anyone else, as it would always be open to abuse, and the risk of opening the UK up to ethnic cleansing.
And I DIDN'T have ANY of my DC's while I was on benefits, I and/or my partner were working at the time that each dc was conceived. Just life has a way of fucking with your plans, and not everyone can get themselves out of situations they are in.
BUT, hell, I'M on benefits, and I was judging that family, fgs, all my dc's have new clothes and shoes when they need them, and bedding on their beds (a brand new bed sheet costs £3.00 in tesco's...christ, where are their child tax credits and child benefit GOING?!). I have saved to enable me to take my DC's to the natural history museum on Friday in HT. So, go ahead and judge them for their obvious lack of parenting skills, you DON'T put yourself first when you have children, that's parenting rule number one. BUT don't judge them for being in a 1-bed flat, that's the responsibility of their local council.
AND while I agree in principle that single people/a couple in a 3/4/5 bed house should be made to give it up when their dc's are grown up, what happens if you have dc's that may NEVER live independantly like my DD and my DS2, who would STILL need a room each plus a room for me, therefore still needing a 3 bed house. Am I meant to kick them out when they hit 18yo, or put them in residential care just because someone with YOUNGER children that are in need may need the house. So I think it would have to be done on a case by case basis, which just isn't possible as it would cost too much to run. It would solve the 5/6 yr wait for a 3 bed in my LA now though. Might create a shortage of 1-beds for adult dc's to move into though. The real solution is to build more council/HA housing, but in a large, oversaturated town, where the hell would they build them?