Children using mild expletives?

[pjmama]

What's acceptable and what isn't?

My DH thinks it's fine for our 3yo to shout "oh knickers!" and "oh pooey!" and that sort of thing, because it's not really swearing. My point is that whilst it's not particularly offensive to us, parents of other children at pre-school may not be so amused with their DCs learning and repeating it. Also I suspect that the teachers would probably pick them up on it too, which is embarrassing and not very nice for them. DH thinks I'm just being stupid, but I don't think it sounds very nice.

Am I old fashioned and worrying too much, or is "oh dear" as far as it should go when you're 3?! (I'm fully aware that before too many more years, they'll probably be teaching me some new swear words anyway )

[CirrhosisByTheSea]

I personally don't have a problem with any of the mild words quoted here - knickers, pooey, oh god etc etc. The only thing that I think is rude and nasty on this is the child saying "sausage head" because saying that to other children is a personal insult. Calling names is different from a mild, some would even say cute, expletive, imo.

[TeamTennant]

The strongest DS (4.5) uses is "Oh bum" or the occasional "Darn it"

Although last week I skidded the car on ice in a country lane and cried out "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck" as we glided from one bank to another, like a pinball machine.
I had some mega explaining to do about how we DO NOT use words like that normally, and Mummy was very, very sorry and she'll never use words like that again...

[pooter]

We have had a fraught time since christmas, resulting in me having less patience than usual, and a rather more colourful vocabulary than usual too (im usually so proper - honestly!). Anyway - this resulted in my ds (2.10) saying in a restaurant yesterday "where's my bloody pasta?". It was deserted and no one else heard, but my DH's and my eyes widened like fog lamps and we didnt know whether to laugh or tell him off.

We decided to tactically ignore it, but later on say it's not nice to say things like that (and i now have yet another new year's resolution). Im going to suggest he can use the Chuggington swear word of "oh bumpers". Seems pretty harmless and i think everyone needs to be able to voice frustration.

[Georgimama]

Ds usually uses Thomas the Tank Engine and Fireman Sam "swear" words: "cinders and ashes" "great fires of London" etc. Pretty cute.

[shockers]

DH was the son of a pastor and he and his 4 siblings made up swear words which were said with just as much venom as fk and b*d. If they ever call you a "spagging john",or tell you to "spag off" they really don't like you!

[CirrhosisByTheSea]

I agree with you pooter that everyone including very young children benefit from having words to use when frustrated/surprised etc. It's healthy imo.

[purpleduckUnderTheMistletoe]

hmmm

I swear alot in front of my kids, as does my dh, and they have never sworn.
Thye do know that this is my bad habit, and that it does (in my opinion) make people sound stupid.
I would be seriously ticked with them if they swore, and they may not say that someone is stupid, or call people names.

I wonder if people who swear are more or less likely to have children who repeat, or if its the attitude of the parent toward swearing...

[giddykipper]

DH swears a lot, DSD (14 yo) never swears in our presence but I suspect she does at school (but then don't they all?).

I'm prone to using bugger and bollocks, DS (2.7) occasionally mimicks me with bugger.

I have to be honest, I don't mind massively. I would be far more upset at them calling people stupid/idiot etc.

DS has a habit at the moment of saying "chuff off Thomas" when he is playing with him Thomas trains. He means chuff as in the sound a steam engine makes, but it does sounds like a minor expletive!

[Jux]

DH and I both used to swear quite a lot, but tried v hard not to in front of dd. For some reason I would say Bither Bother, which she was quite happy to use. Nowadays (at 10) she prefers to use Elizabethan swear words. She gets them out of the Lady Grace books. It's very funny.

[JacksmamaInAPearTree]

I just read the thread title as "children using milk explosives" and thought, WTF????

[zippy539]

I think three is a bit young to be using an 'expletives' - no matter how innocuous. There's a lot of other words they need to learning at that age IMO.

HOWEVER

I think there is a real issue about differing parental 'language' standards. DH is (to my mind) a complete prude and tells the ds's (6 and 8) for using words like Blimey, Darn and Blast.

To my mind that is completely ridiculous. I come from a family where creative swearing has been elevated to an art form (think The Thick Of It) and though I rarely don't swear in front of the kids I do feel that the English language is none the worse for a few expletives used in the right context (and NOT in front of teachers, other parents, younger children).

For the moment Dh is prevailing (eight-year old ds thinks 'Oh God' is the RUDEST thing anyone could ever say) but I'm all for striking a balance. As long as they reserve their 'bad' language for chat with their friends I'm easy. I suspect OP that you've got a few battles to come with your Dh over the subject - as I have!

[alkiezrus]

Ds 2 watches Spongebob lots & now uses the words "Barnacles" or "Tartre Sauce" which I think is quite funny.
This is much better than at the age of 2 (in the middle of sainsburys) when he called me the "C" word . He has never said it since & DH got it right in the neck for that.

[Georgimama]

It depends. I think "Oh God" is worse than "Oh fuck".

[PavlovtheCat]

I do not like our DD aged 3.5 using the word poo in any manner other than in reference to actual poo. She copies a 5 yr old son of a friend of ours who says 'poohead' and she says 'poopoo head'. I just feel it is unecessary at her age. She has also learned her own swearword, she says'you scalick' with such an insulting tone sometimes it is not nice! I have no idea where she gets it from, and I try to discourage her from using it, mainly as it is clearly an insult and I do not want her to insult, whether a real word or not.

My friends have no problem with their boy saying poohead, and some of my family are fine even with the kids saying 'oh bugger' or bloody hell'.

Not on my watch. Although, like others, DH really does not think 'oh bugger' is bad at all and that I am a snob/prude/whatever.

[CirrhosisByTheSea]

agree with you Pavlov that 'poopoo head' and 'you scalick' (bless her for that one though!) are again, direct insults rather than simply using a mild expletive and therefore they are worse, imo.

I would rather a kid said "oh bloody hell" than called someone a 'poopoohead' - two different things, one is letting out frustration, the other is calling names.

[purpleduckUnderTheMistletoe]

ooh jux like what? Does she go on about codpieces...?

[TigerDrivesAgain]

I am afraid I swear rather too much in front of DS who veers between "Mum, don't say BLOOMING" to "hey, mum, FORK did you hear me?" He hasn't quite worked out that "fork" isn't an expletive at all. DS's best insult of all is "penguin head" - which doesn't have the resonance of sausagehead to me.

I think you just have to take the rough with the smooth - if you get on a bus, walk down a street, whatever, you'll hear people casually using the f word and you can't block your DCs ears from it. We heard a great one the other day outside a pub (very posh literary pub in leafy Oxford, not the sort of place you'd expect to hear this): ...And you know, he's the hardest F**king bloke in Cardigan, and.."

DS interpreted this as "he was the hardest fucking man wearing a jumper". I had to laugh.

[lou031205]

DDs go straight to the naughty step for saying 'stupid' to someone (they are 4 & 2), but DD1 often exclaims "Oh, bumis" (bummers). I let that ride.

Swearing is not something that they hear from us (we don't use swear words), but they do overhear it from my parents. They haven't yet picked any of it up, except 'bummers'.

I try to remind mum & dad about little ears, but it comes as naturally to them as it doesn't for us.

We are Christians, and the worst thing is hearing DD1 come home from preschool saying "Oh God". Hate that.

[Hando]

Mild language doesn't bother me too much.

My dd (5) has dicovered the joys of reading and writing and has started spelling P O O out loud now that she knows who to spell poo.

She has been known to say "oh bugger" before, but that's my fault as I swear more than I should, so wouldn't tell her off for it.

Bloody is not a swear word in my mind and we all often say "oh god" or "jesus!" - again not swear words and far better than "oh fuck it".

[Hando]

GM - It depends. I think "Oh God" is worse than "Oh fuck".

Seriously? Now I would go crazy at my dd if she said the word fuck. It's a horrible, harsh, vile word. (I do use it but try not to around dc of course) but makes me so cross when I hear children say it.

Oh god is fine with me and my dd (5) uses it regularly nowadays.

[SuperBunny]

Only read OP but my DS (4) said 'bummer' when I picked him up from nursery a couple of weeks ago and was told by the manager not to say it because it's not nice. I said that I'd never heard him say it before and she said, "I know... it's another child who has been saying it and they've all been repeating it" She was not very pleased.

I don't think I'd be too bothered about 'bummer' tbh but DS was so embarrassed at being told off.

[BrahmsThirdRacket]

Oh well they are all going to end up 'fuck this, fuck that' (as have we) - there's nothing you can do about it.

My cousin once had a tantrum aged 3 during which she threw herself to the ground and pounded it screaming 'Bugger! Bugger bugger bugger!'