Children using mild expletives?

[pjmama]

What's acceptable and what isn't?

My DH thinks it's fine for our 3yo to shout "oh knickers!" and "oh pooey!" and that sort of thing, because it's not really swearing. My point is that whilst it's not particularly offensive to us, parents of other children at pre-school may not be so amused with their DCs learning and repeating it. Also I suspect that the teachers would probably pick them up on it too, which is embarrassing and not very nice for them. DH thinks I'm just being stupid, but I don't think it sounds very nice.

Am I old fashioned and worrying too much, or is "oh dear" as far as it should go when you're 3?! (I'm fully aware that before too many more years, they'll probably be teaching me some new swear words anyway )

[Mike101]

We do not swear and will not let them. they know if they did
swear they will be in a lot of trouble so they dont
the only word that i feel is not a swear word is bum
and will only let them use it in the wright way

[lazyhound444]

Think yourself lucky. I had a Reception child come out with "cunt" a few years ago. Her actual sentence was "Cunt's not a sweary, is it?". We had to politely inform her that, yes, it was a "sweary" and not to say it again. I would be delighted with "knickers" and "pooey". :)

[PrimalLass]

My 3-year-old said 'Uks sake man', in the car one day. It was his daddy's fault

[curlew]

No. I specifically said I avoided blasphemy. Anyone offended by a small child getting giggly over pee, poo, bums and farts is an idiot- they are appropriate words for small children to use.

[LiberalLibertine]

If you worry about people 'possibly being offended' you're worrying all the time with small children surely?

When bum, poo, Willy, fart started doing the rounds at ds playgroup,there was no stopping them, that was all we heard for a good couple of weeks. (Ds is still pretty obsessed to be fair)

[WitchWay]

We used "having wind" for farting when 16yo DS was small, now he's older we say fart. When we were kids we called it popping. He swears a lot but mostly with his mates - if I hear him on the PS3 swearing a bit much I tell him to keep the volume down. He never uses Cunt - I don't tolerate that one but - anything else is fair game, although I don't much like the blasphemous ones - not sure why, I'm not religious! My favourite expletive is Bollocks.

[mygrandchildrenrock]

I had to ask a mum and daughter (3 yrs) not to say bugger to each other at school the other day. Two people behind them said 'thank you' to me.
I also try to get children to change 'God' to gosh and explain why.
Likewise shit, to sugar. The sh sound helps express without offending.

[curlew]

I stop my children from using "blasphemous" swear words because I think you have to be old enough to decide whether you choose to offend or not. They can't make an informed decision- so I decide for them that they will not be rude or offensive. When they are older, the choice is theirs.

[HairyGrotter]

Nope. I grew up being 'afraid' thanks to my parents religious views. I've no issue in offending religious folk, their views offend me generally

[Ragwort]

Hairy - don't you teach your DD that blasphemy can be very offensive to many people? Just because you are an atheist it doesn't mean that other people are happy to hear a child using such terms in a derogatory way.

I cannot stand hearing children (or anyone for that matter) blaspheming and am quite comfortable telling my teenage son's friends off if they use 'God' 'Christ' etc in my hearing .

[Ragwort]

I think its always best to err on the side of caution and avoid any form of swearing/bad language. What you and I think is 'common sense' - ie: don't swear in front of older people/teachers/at an interview etc etc is so far out of some people's 'norm' that you can hardly believe it.

I used to work in hospitality and it was incredibly hard to train the young people joining us that actually it is not OK to swear or use any form of blasphemy etc in front of customers.

We used to have a child at playschool who regularly used the F word, she told us it was OK as 'mummy uses it all the time'.

But I am very old fashioned and wouldn't even swear on Mumsnet and if a thread gets too sweary I just avoid it. .

[HairyGrotter]

DD is 5 and knows all swear words and knows that they are not to be used outside the home. I don't care about hearing them as they are part of the rich tapestry that is language and when used in context can create a beautiful thing

She drops many a bomb but only in the home, outside our bubble she uses appropriate language. God, Jesus and Christ are all fair game outside the home as we are atheist and see no 'wrong' in such terms

[tiredbutstillsmiling]

DD (2 yo) says "oh dear" if she's frustrated but I'm sure we'll hear worse!

We avoid swearing in front of her as when I was growing up I came from a household who didn't swear per se but used vulgar language such as "bugger" or "bloody". Obviously at 7 I had no clue of the connotations but as a teacher, I hate hearing these words from a pupil's mouth.

I also find religious terms as "oh God" offensive & I can't bare it when a pupil says "what the hell?". Just because you may not be religious I think we have to teach our children to be respectful of other's views and beliefs.

[hiccupgirl]

Personally AwfulMaureen I don't find either the word damn or god to be offensive so don't have a problem with them being used by children. I do appreciate other people might not like them but I can't stand cringeworthy expressions like trump etc instead. Each to their own and all that.

[MummyPig24]

I try and discourage "toilet talk" because I know that some people don't like it. I don't really like it i.e "you're a poo head." And that sort of thing.

Actually swearing would be a definite no, dh and I rarely swear and not around the children but that's just the sort of people we are. Some people swear a lot, I think I sound stupid swearing so I don't do it often. The occasion "shit" or "crap".

I'm alright with the word fart, the kids say it and so do we.

[stealthsquiggle]

What curlew said.

Call a fart a fart, I say (and this is surely an entirely separate topic from swearing? Isn't it?)

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I'm going to be in trouble with 7yr old DS's teacher then if fart is still considered a terrible word - he wanted to use it in a story he wrote (radioactive farts killed all the villains) so I said it was fine. There are plenty of humorous kids' books with "fart" in the title or just as part of the story. "Dr Proctor's Fart Powder" to name just one. It's the toilet humour thing - all kids of around 6-8 go through it. I can't get in a tizzy about it myself. My sister hates it for some reason and insists on using the prissy "trump". We were brought up to think that fart was coarse and my mum made us use "poop" instead but now "poop" has been Americanised to mean "poo" so doesn't really work trying to use it in place of "fart" when kids are exposed to the "poo" meaning in American cartoons.

My kids use "damn" too if they are frustrated with themselves. Don't see what's so terrible. Sometimes dagnabbit to make me laugh!

[curlew]

How on earth can trump make you cringe and pump not????? They are both awful!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[stealthsquiggle]

I generally say "bother" or "sugar" or "oh boots" - to the extent that when I really lost my temper at work (to someone, about someone/thing else, not swearing at them IYSWIM) colleague was and said he had never heard me swear before.

DS(11) says "oh fudge" which I find very sweet and Enid Blyton-esque (he has also been known to say "golly" and "gosh") - definitely comes from school. Both DC have definitely heard stronger language than that but don't use it in my hearing

"bum" and "fart", though, in context - do people really have a problem with that ?

[AwfulMaureen]

Good for you harticus anyone who allows their child to use inappropriate and lazy exclamations isn't someone I'd want influencing mine...so that works out well.

[harticus]

Anyone who judges the character of someone simply because they swear is not someone I would ever want influencing my child.

[RabbitRabbit78]

I think kids are ok to use it within their peer group but not in front of adults - it's a respect thing really. Just like as a teacher I won't say "oh god" type blasphemy or any swear words in front of kids - it's about appropriate use of language IMO. I try to do the same with DS but the odd one will out and get repeated until he forgets about it (he's only a toddler).

Obviously I am not suggesting 2 year olds should be allowed to tell each other to fuck off, but kids will pick up swearing and it's about teaching them to use it, um, appropriately(?). I'm sure most (if not all) people swear in certain circumstances after all...

[PiperRose]

In my line of work it's quite usual to hear kids swear (I was a bit shocked the other day when a 2 year old told me to fuck off). I do remember one kids who used to say "pig snot" instead of 'shit' etc, that was quite endearing.