to think it's none of my colleagues business what I spend my hard-earned cash on?

[fedupintheoffice]

My colleague is usually an ok sort of person but she is quite well off and doesn't really respect the true value of money.

I told her today that I probably won't be going to the staff christmas meal out as there is no way I can afford it. She went on about saving a bit per week to go towards it, but still I told her again that I wouldn't even be able to afford that really.
A bit later on I was enthusing over a Whitney Houston concert that I was really excited that was coming to our city. I said how much I would like to go and left it at that, but she replied with "well if you can afford a £50 ticket for a concert, you can afford a £20 meal out with us"...well ffs, I can't and I don't want to go out with you bunch of bitches, I felt like replying, but I just ignored her, while she proceeded to look on the interweb for restaurant prices and a menu. I thought she was quite rude.

[6feetundertheGroundhogs]

Trouble is, by using the money thing as an excuse, you kind of can't then entertain the idea of a concert ticket at over twice the price of the dinner.

You ought to have maintained the front of not being able to have paid for a ticket, have a "relative surprise you with one" and then that's it done, Cinderella get's to go to the ball, but doesn't have to hang out with the 'step-sisters'!

You weren't thinking. You have to be canny sometimes to pull excuses off!

[catinthehat2]

I aim to please!

[famishedass]

catinthehat2 - your 22:16 post had me ROFL

[Ronaldinhio]

come on now you are a troll

fess up and then carry on regardless

I've read your posts, some of them very Mrs Merton,"let's have a debate" which I like (especially when deftly handled, which unfortunately I can't stroke you for)

all in all though I'm in the market for a new pet, so yes, I'd like it very much if you were to become my personal pet troll

do I have to feed you etc in the style of a tamagotchi?

[catinthehat2]

She probably looks at you as if she genuinely doesn't like you and in fact despises you! Ker-azy!

[fedupintheoffice]

and the rich colleague really doesn't have any idea of the true value of money. If you tell her you can't afford some thing she suggests, she looks at me like i'm crazy!

[catinthehat2]

Yes but she's a bit whiney isn't she? Don't like whiners.

[fedupintheoffice]

I'm not a troll lol but I love that you think i'm loveable and endearing. Can I be your pet troll? ;)

One of the reasons I don't want to go to the staff party is because of finances, another is because I know that some of them talk about me behind my back, so they are utter bitches! I don't call people bitches for no reason, ya know!

[Ronaldinhio]

you are a troll fedupintheoffice aren't you?

a very loveable and endearing troll but a troll nonetheless
please don't stop though as having now read some of your threads I adore them

ohhh the ladies are really mean aren't they you are just right not to go
especially the rich ones are mean

[catinthehat2]

Plus, Hatesponge is my favourite nom du jour.

[fedupintheoffice]

thanks for your replies, but I was more mad at her because I didn't actually say to her that I was going to see Whitney (could never afford to see her), I was just enthusing over her visit to our city and how nice it would be to see her and how I would like to see her. It pissed me off more how she automatically assumed I was going to pay to go to Whitney, even though I wasn't going to the meal because I am not, no way, no how.

[fluffles]

well to be honest, if you choose to spend your money on a whitney houston concert rather than a meal out with them then you are effectively saying to them that you don't value spending social time with them and you don't want to go so it is kind of 'her business' if she's offended by that.

saying that, i think you're perfectly entitled to not go, but she's also entitled to be offended.

[catinthehat2]

If I worked with Fedup , I would be constantly on the internet looking up menus and advising on budgeting techniques. Just the sight of her little snarling face every time I said "Ooh the Wolseley looks great for xmas lunches its only going to be £64.50" would cheer me up immensely. And the thought of offering budgeting advice between now and Christmas - well endless pleasure, really!. I think the other ladies are not bitches, they are just Bad.

[Ronaldinhio]

fucking hell it's ages until Christmas...how many times are you going to bring this up?

go or don't I'm sure they actually don't give a shit about your attendance and are all secretly goading and baiting you

by the way being quite well off doesn't mean that you can't truly respect the true value of money

[famishedass]

Actually, having re-visited that other thread I do think you ought to opt out of the xmas meal. You clearly can't stand your colleagues and would deeply resent spending £20 and 4 hours on them once a year.

They must be truly awful people, they probably eat babies or some such wickedness,

[hatesponge]

I can see your colleagues point of view, therefore from my perspective, YABU!

We struggle a lot in my current office with staff morale, people complaining that they barely know most of their colleagues, everyone is too busy at work to chat etc, yet two social events have been organised since I've been there which have been very poorly attended. We have tried to organise a Xmas meal recently, feedback was the cost (£40) was too high, & it was on a midweek so not convenient...so it was rearranged for a Friday, and cost cut to £10 drinks/buffet type affair....and still 75% of people aren't going. So in reality its not cost or convenience so much as they don't want to socialise with the rest of us

I think as you clearly don't want to go irrespective of cost you might have been better to have said in the first place that you weren't one for going out (& avoiding any mention of money)....or alternatively having said you couldnt afford it, tried to avoid mentioning other more expensive outings thereby revealing you could have afforded the dinner, just chose not to!

[catinthehat2]

Ah here it is

[famishedass]

There do seem to have been a lot of them around this year. Maybe the OP has got dozens of part time jobs

[catinthehat2]

Has this thread been on before? I think it was boring the first time.

[Ivykaty44]

Well I would rather spend £50 going to a pop concert than £70 going to a pop concert and dinner with people from work I see all the time - whereas I don't see whitney all the time I can see the people I work with any day of the week.

i think you have a point op - go to the concert and enjoy, then get fish and chips for £5 on the way home

[scottishmummy]

methinkey clues are in the post
fedupintheoffice
"I don't want to go out with you bunch of bitches"

if you genuinely dont want to go, dont.better that than get munted and call em all "you bunch of bitches"

[TheHeadlessWombat]

What's wrong with just not wanting to go to a work's Xmas night out anyway? They aren't really my idea of fun.

[Ronaldinhio]

I don't think she's having a go at you about what you spend your hard earned cash on.
I think she's pointing out that your actual reasons for not going to the christmas meal have little to do with finance.

YABU, as I think that you and she know that even if the dinner were free you'd find a reason not to go.
You are simply cross because she called you on it

[Bleh]

Arguably, going to see Whitney is a once in a lifetime experience, that the OP may have been waiting years to experience, having to wait for Whitters to get off all the drugs and all that.

Work xmas parties happen every year, and can be PAINFUL. We got a message around about ours, and one very controlling individual said that parts of the evening were mandatory. So, we have to do wider department party, work lunch, whole evening out and lots of client entertaining, which takes away from times spent with loved ones and -watching-- crap tv.

[mazzystartled]

Can see both sides of this one.
Of course it's up to you what you spend your money on.
But Xmas meals are only good if everyone goes and gets into the spirit of it, and if she's organising it, I suppose she's fed up that you don't want to go. Bit of poisoned chalice that organising the christmas gig thing.
Better never to explain. Just say, no, sorry, can't make it, smile and dismiss it.