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AIBU?

to think it's none of my colleagues business what I spend my hard-earned cash on?

43 replies

fedupintheoffice · 13/10/2009 21:18

My colleague is usually an ok sort of person but she is quite well off and doesn't really respect the true value of money.

I told her today that I probably won't be going to the staff christmas meal out as there is no way I can afford it. She went on about saving a bit per week to go towards it, but still I told her again that I wouldn't even be able to afford that really.
A bit later on I was enthusing over a Whitney Houston concert that I was really excited that was coming to our city. I said how much I would like to go and left it at that, but she replied with "well if you can afford a £50 ticket for a concert, you can afford a £20 meal out with us"...well ffs, I can't and I don't want to go out with you bunch of bitches, I felt like replying, but I just ignored her, while she proceeded to look on the interweb for restaurant prices and a menu. I thought she was quite rude.

OP posts:

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famishedass · 13/10/2009 21:23

I'm puzzled too. If you can afford £50 to see Whitney then you can afford £20 for a meal, it's plain logic.

Unless the real reason you don't want to go is that you'd rather not spend £20 for the pleasure of their company for the evening once a year - in which case, say you can't afford it, and don't make any other comments about more expensive nights out, it's probably quite hurtful to be on the receiving end of that.

Bleh · 13/10/2009 21:24

YANBU, it is none of their business what you spend your money on. However, the whole xmas work thing is a MINE field and you may not be viewed as a team player if you don't go. Pain in the arse, but true.

lisbey · 13/10/2009 21:31

She's right though. If you can afford to see Witney at £50, you could afford to go for a Christmas meal at £20.

You're absolutely right to choose which you'd rather go to/say you don't want to go to the Christmas party, but she's also entitled to think you're not being entirely truthful about your reason for not going.

bigchris · 13/10/2009 21:33

that's why I always wait until the date of the xmas do and then fake dh's xmas do on the same night, or the xmas fair at school

RubysReturn · 13/10/2009 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuelingFANGo · 13/10/2009 21:35

"If you can afford £50 to see Whitney then you can afford £20 for a meal, it's plain logic."

not really true. Maybe the OP has £50 and it's a choice between the two?

TheHeadlessWombat · 13/10/2009 21:36

I've never had to pay for a work's Xmas night out. Is it normal to do so?

mamalovesmojitos · 13/10/2009 21:37

YANBU that money is gone. do agree with bleh though, sometimes its worth the effort. do what you like and pay no attention to your colleague.

mamalovesmojitos · 13/10/2009 21:37

YANBU that money is gone. do agree with bleh though, sometimes its worth the effort. do what you like and pay no attention to your colleague.

mamalovesmojitos · 13/10/2009 21:37

YANBU that money is gone. do agree with bleh though, sometimes its worth the effort. do what you like and pay no attention to your colleague.

TheHeadlessWombat · 13/10/2009 21:38

Anyway YANBU.

OrmIrian · 13/10/2009 21:38

Of course it's not their business.

Work christmas parties are usually pretty awful. But Whitney Houston as an alternative? What a choice!

TigerBitesAgain · 13/10/2009 21:39

None of her business whatsoever. Agree - just don't go to the Xmas meal, you can always invent something else that stops you going. Cheeky to have to pay for your own as well - I pay for my team's meal (with another senior colleague). We wouldn't dream of expecting them to pay for themselves, afford it or not - it's a works treat. I am just pleased when they all ask for diet coke not wine .

janeite · 13/10/2009 21:40

Yes it is v normal to pay for a work's Christmas night out.

Op - no, you're not being unreasonable in that no, it's none of her business but (imho Witney H is crap, so I would rather go for a meal! And I think your 'bitches' thought was an over-reaction to her teasing tbh. She doesn't sound rude - unless it was the tone of voice.

lisbey · 13/10/2009 21:42

LOL - I am one of those money grabbing bankers and I have paid for every single work Christmas Party I have ever been to. There has never been any company money for staff hospitality.

TheHeadlessWombat · 13/10/2009 21:42

I've obviously just been lucky then. I've worked for 4 different companies and they've paid for the night out,meal and drinks.

scottishmummy · 13/10/2009 21:42

£50 to see whiney?like having dustbin over your head being hit with hammer

she does have a point you cant afford £20 for dinner but mooning over whiney at £50...

Ouchhhh · 13/10/2009 21:45

I think even if you were given £20 out of nowhere, you wouldn't be going on the Christmas meal, lets be honest, you just don't want to go, regardless of finances! Your colleague probably thinks as much too and is miffed.

mazzystartled · 13/10/2009 21:46

Can see both sides of this one.
Of course it's up to you what you spend your money on.
But Xmas meals are only good if everyone goes and gets into the spirit of it, and if she's organising it, I suppose she's fed up that you don't want to go. Bit of poisoned chalice that organising the christmas gig thing.
Better never to explain. Just say, no, sorry, can't make it, smile and dismiss it.

Bleh · 13/10/2009 21:47

Arguably, going to see Whitney is a once in a lifetime experience, that the OP may have been waiting years to experience, having to wait for Whitters to get off all the drugs and all that.

Work xmas parties happen every year, and can be PAINFUL. We got a message around about ours, and one very controlling individual said that parts of the evening were mandatory. So, we have to do wider department party, work lunch, whole evening out and lots of client entertaining, which takes away from times spent with loved ones and -watching-- crap tv.

Ronaldinhio · 13/10/2009 21:49

I don't think she's having a go at you about what you spend your hard earned cash on.
I think she's pointing out that your actual reasons for not going to the christmas meal have little to do with finance.

YABU, as I think that you and she know that even if the dinner were free you'd find a reason not to go.
You are simply cross because she called you on it

TheHeadlessWombat · 13/10/2009 21:53

What's wrong with just not wanting to go to a work's Xmas night out anyway? They aren't really my idea of fun.

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scottishmummy · 13/10/2009 21:54

methinkey clues are in the post
fedupintheoffice
"I don't want to go out with you bunch of bitches"

if you genuinely dont want to go, dont.better that than get munted and call em all "you bunch of bitches"

Ivykaty44 · 13/10/2009 22:03

Well I would rather spend £50 going to a pop concert than £70 going to a pop concert and dinner with people from work I see all the time - whereas I don't see whitney all the time I can see the people I work with any day of the week.

i think you have a point op - go to the concert and enjoy, then get fish and chips for £5 on the way home

catinthehat2 · 13/10/2009 22:03

Has this thread been on before? I think it was boring the first time.

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