to hate OPs who.....

[GreensleevesFlouncedLikeAKnob]

post in this topic, let the thread run for a bit (popping back early on to chuck a couple of logs on) then come back after a long and robust debate has ensued

and THANK individually those posters who agreed with them

it's like an awards ceremony

it's crass and it gets on my tits

don't do it please

NB this is not a thread about a thread, this is a thread about a tendency

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

Although, having said that, maybe I've just become a little sensitive in my old age; I just did a search on my name in AIBU and I do have my fair share of bitching and wading in!

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

Perhaps there should be a "ranty" section for people to vent without having to accept they're BU.

I think sometimes the AIBU threads get so heated as when an OP is made, they do feel hurt about something, AIBU is a popular topic and pretty much a given they'll get replies. Having several people post "UABU" gets the back up because its like telling somebody how they feel is wrong, and that can be difficult to accept.

Mind you, the last time I started an AIBU thread, I was pratically told I had spawned Satan's offspring, so not my favouite section to start a thread in!

[GreensleevesFlouncedLikeAKnob]

but if X, Y and Z were the only posters who directly agreed with the OP and they are the ones singled out for personal thanks......then it's rude

[cousinsandra]

Yep, agree with you (you may thank me later when there are more posters and therefore witnesses to my charm and helpful disposition).

The whole thanking thing is stoopid and is akin to picking teams in the playground...

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

But I read OP as in somebody coming back to the thread and posting:

"Thanks X, Thanks Y, Thanks Z"
which is a little excessive but I thought polite to thank

rather than the issue being...

"I'm thanking X, Y and Z and everybody else can knock off 'cause you dont agree with me so I'm not even giving you a response"
which yes, is annoying.

[GreensleevesFlouncedLikeAKnob]

Elf, it's clearly implicit in the OP that by coming back to a long varied thread and thanking only the 3 posters who agreed that the other posters are being left out of the thanks

no ambiguity there as far as I can see

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

I have given up with chat . Am obviously not inventive enough to lure people onto my threads with my titles.

[Thunderduck]

But that's what chat is for. You can't expect people not to disagree with you on AIBU? If you just want a moan then post in chat stating so.

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

Actually, in the OP it doesn't say about thanking the people who agreed, and specifically ignoring those who disagreed. I can see thats in another post which I had missed on first read, apologies.

But, I do think most people join on on AIBU just to argue, I can start a thread on chat and its ignored, same topic on AIBU gets loads of people bounding in with a yay or nay. Even if you didn't care in the first place whether you were bu (or knew you were) and you just wanted to moan.

[Thunderduck]

No matter how many times I read this thread title I read it as AIBU to hate OAPs?

[independiente]

It's unreasonable to 'hate' them, yes.

(Thanks in advance to anyone who agrees with me).

[Thunderduck]

But Elf as we've explained it's rude to thank just those who agreed with you. That isn't the purpose of AIBU?

Hence why it's called AIBU? and not I know that I'm being unreasonable but I want you agree with me anyway, and everyone else who doesn't agree can sod off.

Though the length of that title may also be another reason for it being called AIBU?

[GreensleevesFlouncedLikeAKnob]

You get flamed for bad manners

which may include not thankg anyone when you've had good advice and people have been supportive

or it may include disap-pearing and not bothering to acknowledge those who have takien the time to answer you

or it may include thanking individually the 3 posters who agreed with you and ignoring everybody else who posted

my 5yo could understand why those things are ill-mannered

nobody is flaming anybody for thanking people, it's the pointed selection of those who agreed with the OP which is at issue

[Thunderduck]

No you can't. No tickers, signatures or blinkies please.

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

Because you can get flamed for not thanking people, or for ignoring somebodies post, or for thanking them.

[AramintaCane]

snort - half price weekend break at pontins

[Themasterandmargaritas]

Would it be worse then if they didn't come back at all?

[GreensleevesFlouncedLikeAKnob]

well SEA I requested the WWYD topic as a mellower alternative - but nobody uses it

[southeastastra]

ha yep totally agree, though i don't like aibu

[GreensleevesFlouncedLikeAKnob]

win what exactly? A half-price weekend break at Pontins?

nothing to do with winning

it's just bloody annoying when on a thread of 300 posts the OP comes back and says "thank you" individually to the 2 or 3 people who agreed totally with the OP

it's rude

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

You can never win on mumsnet.

[GreensleevesFlouncedLikeAKnob]

guilty as charged

[LaurieFairyCake]

bitch

[GreensleevesFlouncedLikeAKnob]

might not be a bad idea Laurie, if you're finding all this a bit of a minefield