To feel hurt at not being godparent

[sb9]

As the title says, i feel hurt as my cousin was my matron of honour and we both have babies and was just told of a christining in conversation so obviously not a godparent then... Just feel a bit sad ;(

[ilovemydogandmrobama]

If it's any comfort, my godmother was absolutely useless, and sort of dumped her when I was about 11 years old and had a little ceremony for the one who I wanted to be godmother, who was actually my mother's cousin! She was very involved in my life, and took me to mass, so it seemed obvious to me that there should be a formal recognition of her relationship to me.

Totally understand why you feel so hurt. A lot of people choose godparents for superficial reasons and seems that you would have treated the role with respect.

[lilacpink]

I chose my sister to be my only adult Bridesmaid and my DDs Godparent, over a good (more regular Church attending) friend. My reason - I have a deeper connection with my sister, and would want her to take on my role as Mum if I wasn't able to (& I had a low budget for Wedding). My friend still asked me to be one of her Bridesmaids after this and it hasn't affected our friendship as I can see it (she doesn't have any sisters or close female relations). Hopefully your relationship will be fine too.

[WesternBelle]

Well, I do see why you are hurt but can you imagine if she'd asked you instead of her sister (presuming she asked her sister?)

We chose my sister but DH has sisters too, obviously we couldn't/didn't want to ask ALL of the sisters to be GM as it would get silly. Have since wondered if things have been said about that though, IYKNIM. Probably have.

The other sisters will be first in the line for GM for any subsequent babies though. Perhaps your cousin felt she had greater obligations to fulfill to other people on this occasion.

Bear in mind she probably feels awful but won't want to bring it up with you.

don't let it spoil anything though, it's not worth it.

[BitOfFun]

Chirruping is such a lovely cheery word- I feel perkier just for reading it...perhaps (and I'm going out on a limb here) you should give it a go OP?

[Silver1]

As someone else said feeling hurt is a subjective thing.
But you don't say whether you even believe in God. To most Christians Christenings and Baptisms are the greatest gift you can give your child and you should pick people as GPs who can respect and reflect that. It may mean you end up with someone you are not as close to as a friend but who is still going to be more appropiate as a Godparent because of their own faith.
I don't mean that to sound snippy, but maybe that is the angle she is taking.

[WinnieTheWart]

I chirrup regularly, even the odd cackle, works wonders i tell you

[piscesmoon]

I think a lot would depend on whether you were a regular church goer-there is a lot to take into account when you choose a godparent, it isn't just a question of a close friend. It should be a lifelong thing-not like choosing a bridesmaid as a one off.

[olivo]

IMO, there is a difference between being a godparent and a legal guardian; a godparent will not necessarily bring up your child if something happens to you. we didnt choose brothers and sisters as GPs as none of them go to church and we wanted people who would have spiritual guidance for dd. however, in our will, it states that DH's brother and his wife would be her legal guardians.

i can see how you'd be hurt but it may be more logical than you think.

[ginnny]

YANBU - you can't help feeling hurt but fwiw
I'm not close to any of my godparents (in fact I wouldn't know one of my godmothers if she fell on me!) so its no bearing on your relationship with the child anyway.
I am godmother to my niece and thanks to my nasty SIL haven't seen her for nearly 2 years now
I wasn't asked to be godmother to my best friends dc, and although a few people were a bit at her choice, I understood that it was her decision and I have a brilliant relationship with both her dc, more so than my own so called family and the fact that I am not a godparent to either of them really is irrelevant.

[Jux]

My brother's godparents were friends of my parents and were great. My godparents were my mum's eldest bro and his wife and were rubbish. DD has chosen her own godparents.

[simplesusan]

2 of my ds godparents were a very close friend of mine and her now dh. She was a bridesmaid for me but she didn't choose me to be godmother to her dd.

I don't think it is that important as what role do Godparents actually do now?

It stems from long ago when parents were very likely to die young and therefore leave their children orphans without living granparents either. Nowadays I expect grandparents would step in to adopt grandchildren if anyhting happened to the parents.

[Domokun]

"This might not be relevant at all, but when we were choosing godparents we wanted them to be people who went to church regularly, which cut out most of our friends and relations..."

And yet weirdly, we both go to church (but are not 'overly' religious in any way that would ever turn anyone off), and most of our friends don't. Yet we're almost the only people in our group who have never been asked. Half the time, our friends ask people who then lost touch and are never seen again. This makes me sad