To think that this boy does not have a disability?

[Upwind]

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/jul/04/autism-asperger-s-education-society

I don't doubt he would, and did, benefit from special adjustments being made and an individual timetable. But so would most children. It is a shame that "a label", in this case an Asperger's diagnosis is necessary to get that.

I can't help but wonder whether changing schools so often, and allowing him to work on novels all night and sleep all day, has contributed to Alex's social isolation. I really hope that he can come into his own and thrive at Cambridge.

The boy himself seems to agree with me: "I don't think I've got a disability. I like being me." The diagnosis of Asperger's felt, he says, "like a label. I felt like a jam jar."

[MaryBS]

I don't think of myself as disabled, but I have Asperger's. I prefer the term differently abled, because with my Asperger's comes a lot of abilities. Yet I have huge problems in other areas, not helped by ignorant people.

YABVU and offensive

[SammyK]

DS had delivery of his big maclaren buggy today, when I got it DP asked if I would feel embarassed pushing it around and I said no because hopefully people would be more understanding that maybe my eccentric little boy has a disability.

katiestar - I often get looks, including from my own mum, for speaking to DS in a stern voice in short sentences such as 'DS. coat. now.' People asking him to do things with airy fairy negotiating get nowhere! I am a little shocked this boy's helper didn't know that herself.

[MildredRoper]

Mary and Cyradis have both said that they do not consider that they are disabled, but that they are disadvantaged by the way that the rest of society tends to organise itself. I hope I'm not misrepresenting either of you there.

I think this is what the op was trying to get at, but just worded it badly.

As it is society that imposes the particular label as well then not everyone will find the label helpful. There are similar arguments around in mental health (that there is no such thing as mental illness, just people that don't fit with societal norms).

Of course, some people and their families will find a label extremely helpful as an explanatory framework and for accessing services. I think it must be a relief for some to get a diagnosis.

It just depends on the individual circumstances really.

[lou031205]

katiestar - how did I know you would pop up with that attitude?

[pickyvic]

this story and teen looks typically aspergers to me. ive got one the same age with aspergers. ive not trawled this whole thread because it started to make be a bit dizzy with pissedoffness.
this is going to be it isnt it. all his sodding life. and all mine. you actually think that things may get easier the older they get but they dont. and this little snapshot of peoples misconceptions is a huge part of why.

[Bigpants1]

Oh good grief-at OP and Katiestar.
Believe me, Aspergers is no cop-out, it is Autism-on the spectrum-and what parent would wish their dc to have AS? Just how many "weak, embarrassed parents do you know?"
It is very hard to get a dx of Autism-whatever end of the spectrum-there is parental developmental history,observation of the dc and an ADOS or equivalent. I dont think Paeds/Psychologists, hand out the dx willy-nilly to parents who say I think my dc has AS, please give me dx,so now I can use this to hide my weakness and the fact I cant control their naughtiness.
OP- there is nothing boderline SN about AS-it is a hidden disability and affects different dc differently,but has profound effect on their ability to function in society-also affects parents and siblings greatly.
This thread and the other by differnt OP recently-"I dont believe there is a condition...ODD" is very offensive to dc and their parents/carers who have these conditions and other hidden disabilities.
Those who are sceptical or scathing, please be thankful your own dc do not have these disabilities and you dont have to deal with opinions such as these.

[nooka]

I slightly wondered whether the mother had some social communication issues herself. It's not unusual with Aspergers diagnoses in children to find that older relatives have undiagnosed issues/differences themselves. These often have not stopped them from having perfectly "normal" lives, they might just be considered odd, or handle issues in a way that might not be considered the norm (or be very effective).

It might be a shame that only with a label problems and differences are truly understood, but it is a fact that having a diagnosis helps other people to understand why someone might behave differently to how you might expect. The trouble is that generally if you are bright even with a diagnosis you won't necessary get any help, let alone if you don't come something of an explanation.

[lisad123]

trust me without a lable its impossible to get help in most schools.

[nooka]

But even with a label you don't always get anything extra - ds's dyslexia (minor I know) got no help because he wasn't far enough behind academically. So you have to have the label and either be very far behind or very disruptive or otherwise stand out I think (ds was only slightly disruptive, and they didn't see that as dyslexia related).

[TrinityRhino]

with a posting name like upwind
wasn't this just here for an argument

[TotalChaos]

I'm a bit amazed that the OP doesn't think the child has a disability given his significant difficulties in socialising/social communication. I think we can't really judge about what the school she took to tribunal knew/didn't know about this lad's diagnosis.

Madwoman - I don't think this lady should be judged too much for not apparently having gone down all the official channels, particularly given the relatively lateness of the DX - as I think it needs to be borne in mind how difficult the experience can be to get support for your child for parents who aren't savvy or hooked up to the internet/suppurt groups.

[SammyK]

Riven that is the attitude I get regarding DS, can see us having to HE if school don't pull themselves together in september

pickyvic, you summed up how I felt reading this thread, incredibly sad and angry for the attitudes DS will encounter all of his life.

[madwomanintheattic]

tc - you're absolutely right. i know it sounded like i was ticked with the mother, but in reality it's more that it doesn't do the mother justice, and doesn't provide any guidance to any other parents at the beginning of this journey. it makes it sound as though she hasn't bothered to engage with the system (and whether that's through ignorance or choice isn't clear) until the end when she cried 'prejudice'. it's the lack of early support i'm cross with really, not her in particular... and the lateness of the dx should not really affect the issue - we have secondary school children here who manage to access appropriate support - the lea and school is notified as a matter of course with the parent's consent.

it's the presentation of the mother in this article that i don't like - it makes her out to believe she is a law unto herself and deserving of by-passing the system that everyone else adheres to, as well as the tone - she's probably completely different in reality. and i wouldn't be judgy about her necessarily, if she hadn't been given adequate guidance at the start then all any of us can do is our best. i get more cross about the professionals involved who don't appear to have done the family any favours.

a paragraph explaining where to access help - a quote from ipsea - a quote from nas - anything that would give a bit more hope to parents of quirky kids than 'you're destined to shunt him around for years and end up with a tribunal for 6th form' means that nothing is really going to change.

we all know that this sort of scenario is frighteningly common - but to perpetuate it by telling this story and not suggesting more appropriate routes is just lazy and a little bit salacious 'quirky clever boy wins prejudice tribunal against evil disablist school'... a school that apparently didn't even know he had a dx and he'd never been to. but it obviously wasn't supposed to be an informative and educational piece.

all it does is get more mothers up in arms about the terrible behaviour of the lea/ school before they have even tasted the system themselves. what sort of a basis is that to start a relationship on? parents need a damn sight more support with sen than lazy guardian articles than seek to create even more of a 'family v state' divide. i do agree that the failings of the system need to be highlighted in the media - but this story is targeting entirely the wrong 'culprits' in my opinion.

(lol, not ranting at anyone here - parents need support to interact with the authorities before it gets to tribunal lol, not media taunting about how horrific the system is. we all know it is, but this stuff perpetuates it, it doesn't seek to combat it, or improve it.)

will go and have a lie down now lol.

[MaryBS]

My DS's school have been fantastic, I don't know what I'd have done without them.

[sunfleurs]

Katiestar I have sat here for a few minutes trying to word an intelligent response to your post and I just can't due to the fact that I am completely exhausted from dealing with my "I do believe some kids do have Aspergers but I think a hell of a lot more are naughty children and it is a cop out for weak ,ambarassed parents and staff who can't control them" ds.

You sound so ignorant it is untrue.

I remain disgusted by the general attitudes on MN towards SN kids outside of the SN Boards.

[Mamazon]

oh my dear lord.

would you go up to a kid in a wheel chair and say "oi don't be so lazy get up and walk"?

its just yet more ignorance. i know it makes me less of a person for not sticking around to educate you but i simply don;t have the time.
i have my autistic son i need to badly parent

[duchesse]

Sure sounds like Asperger's to me. Also the treatment he's received from the various schools he's been in sounds pretty typical of the treatment routinely meted out to children with Asperger's.

Being clever does not rule out special needs- in fact many very clever people also have special needs, such as dyslexia or this.

Going to Cambridge does not guarantee the glowing future that many people seem to think it does, as networking, which people with Asperger's tend to be bad at, is ultimately as important as educational attainment in determining someone's career success.

[Reallytired]

I doult the mother has commication issues. She is a teacher fgs. A teacher with social communication issues would never survive in her job!

I suspect that like many parents she may have had difficult coming to terms with her son's diagnosis.

[duchesse]

Oh and very early speech development can be a marker of autistic spectrum disorder, yes. His talking at 6 months did not strike me as anything other than another indicator that he does indeed have AS. Although my entirely NT daughter spoke her first words at 7 months, so it's not diagnostic.

[duchesse]

Reallytired- Frankly about 30% of the intake at Cambridge had some form of ASD back in my day. The big advantage of being there over A N Other university is that it is perfectly socially acceptable there to talk socially about your subject or any other intellectual interest, which sidesteps the need to be socialised in the traditional sense. Actually I think that ASD people have it easier there than you might expect. Also the pastoral support system is very good. So I reckon that he will actually be fine there.

[hairymelons]

Katiestar
Sorry, should probably have left to die but am AGOG at the above. Don't know much about sen but find those comments incredibly ignorant.

[Reallytired]

duchesse, I have to admit that I have never been to oxbridge. I'm not clever enough. I suspect that many people who choose science or engineering have some form of ASD. (Prehaps including me!)

I did a physics degree at a redbrick uni. There were plenty of very gifted people with some form of ASD or mental illness. One exceptionally bright girl I knew hanged herself in her student bedroom. It makes me cry to think about it 15 years later.

Cambridge has a very high incidence of student suicide. Its everyday living that causes problems. Ie. students have to cope with life's unprediciblity, cook, clean and manage finances. These pressures exist wherever you choose to study.