to wish that people would sod off with their unsolicited childrearing advice?

[domesticslattern]

Today in Gap, the poncey sales assistant came over, told me she was a "baby specialist" and instructed me to raise the pushchair raincover so that my baby didn't get too hot as it was "bad for her ears".



I only wanted a pair of socks.

The week before some woman in the cafe across the road told me off for leaving my baby in her pushchair outside the cubicle while I had a very quick pee. "That's dangerous you know!"

(Yes I know it is, but with my pelvic floor I can't always wait madam).

And lo and behold, some old bat on the District line at the weekend leans over, gets out her passport to show me that she is a doctor, and offers the advice that my baby has a misshapen skull and DH and I need to hold her differently so it evens out.

I have also had: "I think he's hot!" from someone on the Piccadilly line when DD was crying after her feed was late, and another young woman coming up to tell me that DD "really needs a sunhat in this weather" (she had just thrown it on the floor of the train and I didn't notice until we got off).

Do other people get this or do I have a tattoo on my forehead saying please give me your opinion on my baby?

And what do you say?

ARRRRRRRRGH rant over

[CookieMonster2]

My daughter is very (very) small and although we don't get comments anymore I used to dread going out of the house because complete strangers would comment on it and sometimes even imply that I hadn't noticed or done anything about it. The best one was a complete stranger who gave us the details of a doctor who she said specialised in growth and would be able to give her growth hormones. Of course, the doctor wasn't based at a hospital near us and we do have a doctor at our own hospital.......
I think the most offensive was someone who said 'will she be normal in err other ways' i.e. does she have learning difficulties!

[wasabipeanut]

I LOVE the idea of hugging someone and telling them they'd shown me the way. I would actually love to get unsolicited advice from randoms to try out some pithy MN responses but I never seem to get any.

Perhaps I always look too cross and scary. I get plenty of stupid advice from relatives instead if itd any consolation.

[BitOfFun]

at pagwatch's solution! I have had a few comments about dd2 (autistic), and would love to come back with a pithy reply, something really withering, but I tend to open my mouth like a goldfish and then cry when I get home

[ILikeYourSleeves]

YANBU. I got accosted at the airport by some random nobody who told me that I had to take the toy car that was still in its packaging AWAY from DS as he had the cardboard in his mouth and HE COULD CHOKE ON IT AND DIE!!!!!!! Bloody hell he was only playing with it, right in front of me! It made me so angry and even a little teary as I had thought she was going to say something all goo goo gaaa gaa about DS's ultra cuteness. Hmph.

[pamelat]

A MAN was with his partner and baby in Boots last week, I was with DD.

He stepped in front of my pushchair to look at my DD (which was a bit weird), asks me whether she has teeth yet (thought he was just being friendly at this point) and then tells me that my house keys are "too sharp" for her to bite.

Bloody cheeky of him.

Maybe they are. Have tried removing them several times but she screams uncontrollably (at 8 months, madam). I dont mind using them as a distraction for 5 minutes in Boots whilst I am buying her nappies.

Fortunately I was in the frame of mind to answer back. I told him that if they were too sharp for her she would soon let me know.

I dont think that he could quite believe that I had not taken his advice, arrogant man.

[pamelat]

also, everyone thinks my DD is a boy (even when dressed in a pink dress) and on the occassions where I bother to correct them, they usually start saying "oh but doesnt he look like a boy" ... SHE SHE SHE! Argggghhhh

Pre baby none of these random people used to talk to me, I think I preferred it that way!

[noonki]

lol pamelat

Everyone thought my DS was a girl until about the age of 2.

Once he was dressed head to foot in blue and had a cap with JACOB written across it a an old lady said 'she is very pretty, is that her brother's hat?!'

[ILikeYourSleeves]

LOL I've had that too- DS covered in blue and a stranger asking 'is it a boy or a girl?'

[poppy34]

pamelat -lol -do you get that too? even when dressed in pink rose outfit...

[chocdrop]

Once we were at the airport with one of our dc on top of the luggage on a trolley (securely wedged in) and a man came over to tell us how irresponsible we were and how dangerous trolleys could be. Unfortunately for him, while he was talking to us and causing a bottleneck someone else rammed straight into him with their trolley. A most chucklesome moment.

[elmoandella]

i find adopting a face like you've swallowed a wasp as you walk around stops anyone from even looking in your direction never mind making a suggestion.

[grumblingirl]

Oh, I've got long earlobes (as many people have pointed out) that means I'm intelligent. Yippppppeeeeee.

I get advice on parenting from EVERYONE (I am a bit shit though, dropped ds2 on his head yesterday after catching him by legs falling off bed). But then again I get advice about everything from EVERYONE. Even got advice about sugaring my legs from doctor when she was stitching up my 3rd degree tear. They were hairy I admit but it was quite hard to appear grateful when sucking on the gas and air having a hook put through my bits.

[Mammamoo]

I used to dread taking DS into a supermarket as he'd be good as gold until I got to the checkout, then start screaming - just when I was sandwiched between old ladies & checkout girls who were all part time paediatricians. 'oh he needs his bottle' - 1. he's breastfed 2. he had a feed before he came out 3. he is MY SON and I know what he wants thank you very much. bah. and breathe!

I was waiting with him at the GPs for his first jabs and a woman starting chatting to me and calling him 'she'... for some reason (tiredness, probably) I didn't correct her, and the conversation went on longer than I had expected and I ended up having to say 'this one' when referring to him to avoid saying 'he'. Then the nurse came out and said to me 'how old is baby?' so I replied 'oh he's 4 months...' then realised I'd given the game away.

[hazeyjane]

I'm always getting random advice from strangers, and figure it is because we (me, dd1 and dd2) must look like a train wreck when we go out. We usually have half a toy cupboard piled on the pushchair, banana smeared all over the straps, mismatching socks (if any, cue 'ooh it's a bit cold to go without socks, poor lamb..'), and clothing completely innappropriate to the season (wellies and rainmac on hot day, sundress and sandals in wind and rain etc). I guess everyone must just feel sorry for me, I usually just rush past saying, 'yes they're lovely aren't they' no matter what has been said!

Oh and both dd's are always referred to as he, to which I say 'yes, she's lovely, isn't she.'

[mummyclare]

Mad woman recently told me that my baby was blind as he was 4 weeks and wouldn't be able to see a thing until he was 6 weeks old. Then told me how she loved kids and all about her grandchildren??

[Combustiblelemon]

Was she possibly confusing babies with kittens???

[lottien]

Oh the joys of mad strangers!!

Re rain covers - someone once asked me "can she breath inside that?" Duhhh.

A woman came up to me once when I was struggling with 18 month old DD in a tantrum and asked me "who is this child's mother?" I was so stunned (and preoccupied) that I had to think for a moment before I stammered "I am". She looked me up and down and said "I don't think so."!! Well of course you should know best crazy stranger.

[littleteapot]

OMG - I've just read all this, and I'm sure I'm going to be in prison 3 months after I give birth having battered some interfering old bat to death in a supermarket carpark! I hate to think what the child's first words will be!

[mummyclare]

Yesterday a woman calmly accused my black nanny of kidnapping my two blonde girls - this is in a part of London where every other adult with a child is a nanny / au pair.

[BalloonSlayer]

I saw a big expensive pram being wheeled around a shop the other day by very proud new parents.

It was the palest, cleanest, pastel pink, with pink frills and pink raincover. A pink nappy changing bag dangled delicately from the handle.

It was beautiful.

How I restrained myself from going up to them and asking "is it a boy or a girl?" I shall never know.

[kekouan]

YANBU, but unfortunately it happens far too often.

My MUM had a massive go at me the other day, saying that I had made my son clingy and unsociable because we had him in our room for the first 6 months of his life.

[NotQuiteCockney]

Yes, I keep cackling to myself at the idea of either hugging and thanking strangers, or Whoopee's brilliant suggestions. I can't figure out whether I like "Oh, this isn't my baby. I just found it outside Costcutter." best, or whether I prefer "Sorry. Could you say that again? I'm really stoned and I missed it."

They're both lovely.

[Wade]

I'm with elmoandella - a face like a slapped arse usually discourages unwanted advice. Otherwise a quiet "f**k off" should do the trick.

[ARAG]

I'm with you Teapot. These tales of unsolicited advice are utterly enfuriating!!!!! OP, my condolences for having run into that lot of interferring *s. Arg... makes my blood boil.

I do get the odd remark here and there. I've got to have my retorts ready. These people have got to know they are a menace! (That includes well-meaning relatives!)

"Baby-Specialist" -- how absurd.

Grumbling, that doctor should be sacked and/or sued. Soooo out of line!

Keys are so interesting... what a good learning tool.

I've used the loo both with babe in hand and with babe in pram just outside the door. It depends on the situation, of course. And anyway, who has ever heard of a strapped-in kid being taken while mum's a foot away in the toilet cubicle? We can likely see the wheels, AND we have PLENTY of practice peeing (or otherwise) in a nanosecond, am I right?

YAabsolutlyNBU.