to wish that people would sod off with their unsolicited childrearing advice?

[domesticslattern]

Today in Gap, the poncey sales assistant came over, told me she was a "baby specialist" and instructed me to raise the pushchair raincover so that my baby didn't get too hot as it was "bad for her ears".



I only wanted a pair of socks.

The week before some woman in the cafe across the road told me off for leaving my baby in her pushchair outside the cubicle while I had a very quick pee. "That's dangerous you know!"

(Yes I know it is, but with my pelvic floor I can't always wait madam).

And lo and behold, some old bat on the District line at the weekend leans over, gets out her passport to show me that she is a doctor, and offers the advice that my baby has a misshapen skull and DH and I need to hold her differently so it evens out.

I have also had: "I think he's hot!" from someone on the Piccadilly line when DD was crying after her feed was late, and another young woman coming up to tell me that DD "really needs a sunhat in this weather" (she had just thrown it on the floor of the train and I didn't notice until we got off).

Do other people get this or do I have a tattoo on my forehead saying please give me your opinion on my baby?

And what do you say?

ARRRRRRRRGH rant over

[Rachel130690]

I'll never remember to use these comebacks if it happens. I might just politely tell them to fuck off :)

[asicsgirl]

no-one ever gives me advice. no-one tells me off for bf in public places. shame as i have so many great comebacks now courtesy of mn...

no-one talks to me at the school gates either...

[domesticslattern]

Aphrodite, that is a fantastic idea. I love them. I just wish I were the kind of person who dared to use them!

In fact, the paediatrician on the District Line was accompanied by quite a chubby little boy and I did in hindsight think I might have commented on that, and asked about his diet. Perhaps recommended five fruit and veg a day, that kind of thing.

I did want to say to the self-styled Gap baby specialist, "Madam, you may be a baby specialist but I am a specialist in this particular baby". I didn't, of course. I just shuffled a bit and asked for the socks in a different size.

[CharlyWu]

The other day my Dad took my DS for a walk and was queuing to pay for something when 9 week old DS started screaming, so he put a dummy in his mouth. Cue a woman walking up to him and saying 'she doesn't need a dummy, you shouldn't do that!' My poor Dad was lost for words.

[AphroditeInHerNightie]

I used to live in a retirement town with a diproportionate amount of interfering old biddies.
Conversations frequently went thus:
OB: What a lovely little boy, what's his name?
AIHN: (Looking incredulously at DD in her pink outfit) Er - Catherine
OB: How lovely - how old is he?

Dooooooohhhhhhhhh!

Also had plenty of unsolicited advice and wish I'd had the guts and the wits to reply. Hindsight brings such gems as:
"I'm so grateful for your advice, in return I'd like to suggest that you get a better haircut/ look in the mirror when you put on your make-up next time / consider drastic cosmetic surgery". Thank you, and goodbye"

[StealthPolarBear]

My little boy is regularly called a lovely little girl, even when dressed head to toe in blue

[GuiltyMummy]

This thread has made me chuckle a lot! My DD is now almost 3 and I can't remember much of the unsolicited advice I was given but I know there was a lot of it.

However, the other day we were in the park with DD dressed head to toe in pink and carrying her favourite dolly. A man turned around and a) asked "what's his name?" b) told his granddaughter "move out of the way as this little boy would like a go now".

[BigBadMousey]

Balloonslayer - you really should have asked!

[escortss]

have you all been talking to my MIL???????

[ARAG]

I'm with you Teapot. These tales of unsolicited advice are utterly enfuriating!!!!! OP, my condolences for having run into that lot of interferring *s. Arg... makes my blood boil.

I do get the odd remark here and there. I've got to have my retorts ready. These people have got to know they are a menace! (That includes well-meaning relatives!)

"Baby-Specialist" -- how absurd.

Grumbling, that doctor should be sacked and/or sued. Soooo out of line!

Keys are so interesting... what a good learning tool.

I've used the loo both with babe in hand and with babe in pram just outside the door. It depends on the situation, of course. And anyway, who has ever heard of a strapped-in kid being taken while mum's a foot away in the toilet cubicle? We can likely see the wheels, AND we have PLENTY of practice peeing (or otherwise) in a nanosecond, am I right?

YAabsolutlyNBU.

[Wade]

I'm with elmoandella - a face like a slapped arse usually discourages unwanted advice. Otherwise a quiet "f**k off" should do the trick.

[NotQuiteCockney]

Yes, I keep cackling to myself at the idea of either hugging and thanking strangers, or Whoopee's brilliant suggestions. I can't figure out whether I like "Oh, this isn't my baby. I just found it outside Costcutter." best, or whether I prefer "Sorry. Could you say that again? I'm really stoned and I missed it."

They're both lovely.

[kekouan]

YANBU, but unfortunately it happens far too often.

My MUM had a massive go at me the other day, saying that I had made my son clingy and unsociable because we had him in our room for the first 6 months of his life.

[BalloonSlayer]

I saw a big expensive pram being wheeled around a shop the other day by very proud new parents.

It was the palest, cleanest, pastel pink, with pink frills and pink raincover. A pink nappy changing bag dangled delicately from the handle.

It was beautiful.

How I restrained myself from going up to them and asking "is it a boy or a girl?" I shall never know.

[mummyclare]

Yesterday a woman calmly accused my black nanny of kidnapping my two blonde girls - this is in a part of London where every other adult with a child is a nanny / au pair.

[littleteapot]

OMG - I've just read all this, and I'm sure I'm going to be in prison 3 months after I give birth having battered some interfering old bat to death in a supermarket carpark! I hate to think what the child's first words will be!

[lottien]

Oh the joys of mad strangers!!

Re rain covers - someone once asked me "can she breath inside that?" Duhhh.

A woman came up to me once when I was struggling with 18 month old DD in a tantrum and asked me "who is this child's mother?" I was so stunned (and preoccupied) that I had to think for a moment before I stammered "I am". She looked me up and down and said "I don't think so."!! Well of course you should know best crazy stranger.

[Combustiblelemon]

Was she possibly confusing babies with kittens???

[mummyclare]

Mad woman recently told me that my baby was blind as he was 4 weeks and wouldn't be able to see a thing until he was 6 weeks old. Then told me how she loved kids and all about her grandchildren??

[hazeyjane]

I'm always getting random advice from strangers, and figure it is because we (me, dd1 and dd2) must look like a train wreck when we go out. We usually have half a toy cupboard piled on the pushchair, banana smeared all over the straps, mismatching socks (if any, cue 'ooh it's a bit cold to go without socks, poor lamb..'), and clothing completely innappropriate to the season (wellies and rainmac on hot day, sundress and sandals in wind and rain etc). I guess everyone must just feel sorry for me, I usually just rush past saying, 'yes they're lovely aren't they' no matter what has been said!

Oh and both dd's are always referred to as he, to which I say 'yes, she's lovely, isn't she.'

[Mammamoo]

I used to dread taking DS into a supermarket as he'd be good as gold until I got to the checkout, then start screaming - just when I was sandwiched between old ladies & checkout girls who were all part time paediatricians. 'oh he needs his bottle' - 1. he's breastfed 2. he had a feed before he came out 3. he is MY SON and I know what he wants thank you very much. bah. and breathe!

I was waiting with him at the GPs for his first jabs and a woman starting chatting to me and calling him 'she'... for some reason (tiredness, probably) I didn't correct her, and the conversation went on longer than I had expected and I ended up having to say 'this one' when referring to him to avoid saying 'he'. Then the nurse came out and said to me 'how old is baby?' so I replied 'oh he's 4 months...' then realised I'd given the game away.

[grumblingirl]

Oh, I've got long earlobes (as many people have pointed out) that means I'm intelligent. Yippppppeeeeee.

I get advice on parenting from EVERYONE (I am a bit shit though, dropped ds2 on his head yesterday after catching him by legs falling off bed). But then again I get advice about everything from EVERYONE. Even got advice about sugaring my legs from doctor when she was stitching up my 3rd degree tear. They were hairy I admit but it was quite hard to appear grateful when sucking on the gas and air having a hook put through my bits.

[elmoandella]

i find adopting a face like you've swallowed a wasp as you walk around stops anyone from even looking in your direction never mind making a suggestion.

[chocdrop]

Once we were at the airport with one of our dc on top of the luggage on a trolley (securely wedged in) and a man came over to tell us how irresponsible we were and how dangerous trolleys could be. Unfortunately for him, while he was talking to us and causing a bottleneck someone else rammed straight into him with their trolley. A most chucklesome moment.