To breast feed a friends baby if she was busy?

[narkymum]

just read a piece about it in closer. There is a programe about it on 9th sept c4 10pm.

[Anna8888]

My sister breastfed my daughter but wouldn't let me feed her daughter (we were just having a little experiment with our babies ).

[Upwind]

"How about this for an idea - breastfeed another child if you want to and if the mother wants you to, otherwise don't. Ta dah! No need for eewing."

See, that is the answer, no need for the turned up noses and judging. I can imagine circumstances where I would happily BF another woman's baby or have her feed mine. It is just NOT a big deal.

[DaphneMoon]

Or I dare I suggest that if the child could not be breasfed then try formula.

[DaphneMoon]

Or even hard hat!!

[policywonk]

I'd happily BF a friend's child and would happily have a friend BF my child. They would have to be friends though - I'd find it difficult to let a stranger feed my child. Maybe there are sound evolutionary reasons for that?

But then I've been BFing for five and a half years on the trot now... my perspective might be a little skewed.

[SueW]

I've donated breast milk to a milk bank.

I'd find it really strange for someone to refuse donated breast milk in hospital. Most people would accept a blood transfusion for their baby/child if s/he were ill.

[Upwind]

"...you know a cow is being fed a diet optimal for milk-production and (with organic milk, anyway) there's no hidden nasties getting passed on to the drinker."

the cows are most likely fed a diet designed to maximise the volume of milk produced

and it is not just hidden agrochemicals that might be a cause for concern. TB used be spread widely through cows' milk. With the massive increase in badger numbers, more and more cases of bovine TB are being detected every year. That worries me and makes me want to ensure that my baby is immunised.

[WorzselMummage]

It wouldnt be a big deal to me either i have to say.

The Donated expressed milk isnt really that different is it, its all way of getting the best possible nourishment in to a child.

I know my best mate doesnt have HIV or anything like it, if you were both lactating then you'd presumably have both been though the pregnancy health screen fairly recently. Obviously no-one would let an unknown risk feed their child.

[AtheneNoctua]

yuk

[zoo123]

BTW I'm not totally against a woman breastfeeding another woman's baby. In developing countries when a mother dies which happens not infrequently in childbirth or shortly afterwards, another family member eg grandmother or aunt will step in and feed it. Rather different circumstances that those being discussed on this threa because in these countries the baby will die if no-one is willing to feed on the mother's behalf. To me, it's just not necessary in developed countries.

[PinkTulips]

lilymolly, many animals allow group nursing to occur, where any young in the group can feed from any mother. lions do it for example.

i wouldn't be happy with it as a causal thing, more due to the amount of transmittable illness we all harbour than anything else i'm afraid.

i don't tend to go anywhere without baby when nursing so babysitting wouldn't be an issue. however if i was very sick in hospital it would be nice if someone i knew and trusted could feed my baby. i'd hate to think my child had to have formula if there was any other option at all available.

weirdly i think i'd have more trouble feeding someone elses child though.... the thought of a baby that's not mine latching on to my breast makes me very uncomfortable. if it was a close friend and they needed me to do it though i'm sure i'd get over myself and help.

[zoo123]

Upwind, the trouble is that some women have been talking about br feeding another woman's child without her express consent.

[LittleMyDancing]

zoo123 - women are screened for HIV, hepatitis etc in pregnancy, and so they know their HIV status. Are you suggesting someone who was HIV+ would knowingly bf someone else's baby? As the midwife says in the Guardian piece today, if someone is bf their own baby, you can pretty much be sure their bm is safe for your baby.

AS for 'sub-optimal' milk - even if someone eats a terrible diet, their milk will be fine, you'd have to be in a really terrible state for your bm to be affected. Presumably a friend offering to bf your baby isn't also knocking back the vodka, unless they're not much of a friend.

[Upwind]

zoo123 - that seems inappropriate, but again not a major issue.

I remember the thread that has been mentioned a few times: an MNer was minding her friend's dairy intolerant baby while the friend nipped to the hairdresser. On her way back she was knocked down and taken to hospital. The woman had no more perscription formula for the friend's baby, so breastfed her. Surely the right thing to do, even without consent?

[zoo123]

Pink tulips, in the situation that you are describing you would be able to take your baby into hoepital with you eg be put into a single room. If the drugs you were taking were contraindicated for br feeding then you would need to express and discard to keep your supply going but this very rarely needs to happen because the doctors would try as hard as possible to give you drugs that a re compatible. In extreme circumstances you might need to give formula for a short period but I think this is hardly life or death. Anyone would suggest that giving formula for even a short period was a disaster for the child's health - it simply isn't.

[LittleMyDancing]

i must have missed the bit about bf another person's baby without their consent? where was that?

[policywonk]

zoo123 - but OTOH, why go to such extreme lengths when you could just ask your mate to BF your child for you? I mean, you personally might not want to do it, but if other women are happy to do it then that's not a problem for you, surely?

[zoo123]

LMD, I think it's very unlikely that a woman who knows she is HIV positive would offer to br feed another woman's baby. However, there is a small risk that she could have serconverted after her antenatal HIV test or been infected afterwards eg by an unfaithful partner. When women donate milk to a hospital milk bank they make the donation which is then frozen. 3 mohts after the woman has donated she has the HIV test that proves as accurately as possible that she had not been infected with the virus when she made the donation. Only then is the milk used for the SCBU babies.

BTW if I had a very preterm infant that needed DEBM I would agree to them having it because the benefits would far outweigh my own feelings.

Upwind, I wouldn't want anyone else to br feed my baby in any circumstances, I'd rather formula was given. I'll acknowledge that it's possible that the women you are talking about had previously discussed the issue.

[LittleMyDancing]

also, what if you were in a coma, or very seriously ill? Can't imagine the overworked NHS nurses coming and expressing from your breasts every few hours just in case you recover and want to continue bf?

[Upwind]

zoo123 - even if your baby was seriously allergic to cows' milk protein? It might not be possible for the friend to get prescription formula for your baby at short notice. Would you rather they went hungry in the meantime?

[PictureThis]

Breastfeeding someones elses child or someone else breastfeeding mine just does not sit right with me.

[TinkerBellesMum]

Can I just point out that it is illegal to breastfeed in this country if you have HIV so if the donor mother did have it she should not be feeding her baby anyway.

[zoo123]

Littlemydancing it was displacemntactivity that was talking about offering to breast feed a baby who was being babysat by it's grandparents. Although she didn't do it she said that she regretted not offering and in this situation the mother was not present to give consent. In the case of a woman who was in a coma then a mw could do the expressing (I am one btw). I have never expressed from an unconscious woman but I've given women a lot of practical help when they're very ill and wanted to keep on br feeding.

Upwind, if a baby needs prescription formula and a mother usually takes her prescription to the same chemist they'll be aware that she needs it and, belive it or not, they do have a degree of discretion to give out a small amount of prescription only products to patients when they are convince that the patient is already receiving it on prescription and it is absolutely necessary. In any case a hospital paediatric unit would almost certainly provide it if necessary. In this country very few of the circumstances that are being discussed require a woman to breastfeed another woman's baby. Like I said, if 2 women agree that this is what they want to do then that's fine, it's the idea of doing it without the mother's express informed consent that alarms me.

Now I've got to go and br feed my own baby.

[Peachy]

DS4 is bf by me, he's casein intl. BF almos didnt work out- he has growth issues. I would have much preffered that I give him (or someone else) bm than he had to ave the dairy free formulae.

Fortunately he' now gaining