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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be sick of people who buy jemima/shaznee a pet rabbit/guinea pig/hamster then fail to look after it when the child gets bored?

36 replies

DANCESwithLordPottingtonSmythe · 03/08/2008 11:50

JUST DON'T GET ONE if you don't want to look after it (because if you have half a brain cell you will know that children will not always want to clean out a dirty cage so you will end up doing it). It's animal cruelty to leave it in a cage full of it's own faeces. YOUR CHILDREN DO NOT NEED TO HAVE EVERYTHING THEY WANT. GRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrr this makes me so (having recently seen a prime example at a friend's house).

OP posts:

scorpio1 · 03/08/2008 13:35

LEM - she has ridden plenty as a child but never owned or loaned. She certainly does not have money to burn - like i said earlier she could not afford to come to the pub the other day. I know what their income is because our dhs work together, but they have more rent than us + debts (which we dont) and i could not afford a pony.

I don't know what to do. Have thought of ringing seller and saying not to sell to her.

scorpio1 · 03/08/2008 13:36

anyway i will ask her about those things on the list.

scottishmum007 · 03/08/2008 13:39

scorpio, let them make their own mistakes. there's no point interfering in other folk's personal business. they never thank you for it (even though it seems the right thing to do)

scorpio1 · 03/08/2008 13:40

i know, scottishmummy. it will be a lesson learnt hopefully. i hope she proves me wrong!

lucyellensmum · 03/08/2008 13:44

The thing is scorpio there is actually very little you can do. If you value your friendship then don't phone the seller. Just let your friend know what sort of financial commitment she is letting herself in for. I really do think 3 is far to young for a pony - woldnt she fair better sending DD to lessons anyway.

Its her call, tell her you are concerned she wont be able to care for the thing properly. For one thing, if the horse isnt ridden regularly then it is going to be a very difficult little pony, NOT for beginer owners thats for sure.

My DD is three and there is no way on this earth i would buy her a pony, even though it would be my dream come true and im very of your friend. Too young, its dangerous. Did you know that my DPs life insurance had a clause in it that wouldn't cover a horse riding accident as it is considered a HIGH RISK sport. It is, dangerous, people are crippled riding horses and imagine what a kick in the stomach could do to a three year old - i can tell you, ruptured spleen/liver. This happened on a local yard, thankfully the mother put the girl in the car and drove her to A&E instead of waiting for ambulance, they told her if she was a couple of minutes later she would have died from internal bleeding. Thankfully she made afull recovery.

meglet · 03/08/2008 13:45

YANBU. I discovered I was only allowed a guinea pig at age 7 because my mum realised she would probably end up doing most of the pet care and she had always fancied getting one. She didn't tell me that part until i was older though.

wotulookinat · 03/08/2008 13:54

YANBU. Any pet needs work to keep it happy and healthy. It's such a shame that so many people go into it blindly, without looking at the long term work or costs involved.
And a rabbit is a very easy pet, in my opinion, but still needs exercise, company, a clean hutch and a varied diet. We have a very happy bunny in our garden who is currently pulling a cardboard box to pieces!

belgo · 03/08/2008 14:08

My dd1 was given her rabbit for her fourth birthday by another family member. Obviously I have taken reasonability for it, wa wanted to get a rabbit anyway. But the problem with it being given to her as a birthday present really makes her think that it is her possession, a toy like a doll for her to do as she pleases, and it's been quite hard teaching her that this isn't the case.

catsmother · 03/08/2008 17:57

NOT unreasonable at all.

ANY animal is ultimately the responsibility of the adult(s) who buy it in the 1st place .... it's no good expecting that the child(ren) concerned will necessarily step up to the mark, and if they don't (or won't) there is no excuse to then neglect the animal.

It makes me so-oooo mad because it's all so unnecessary. Where parents don't accept full responsibility it's not only akin to them viewing the animal as some sort of disposable toy, but also indicative of how spoilt their kids almost certainly are.

Stories like LEM relates make me weep. Even if you are too lazy, selfish and cruel to look after an animal you decided to buy in the first place, these people could contact one of the many organisations and charities who will generously take them off your hands. They won't even insist on a donation to help with costs if you plead poverty ............ yet people would rather the animal led a neglected, unhappy life (often plagued with ill-health too) rather than make that teensy bit of effort to put right their own stupid mistake.

wannaBe · 03/08/2008 18:23

no yanbu. Surely any parent should realize that when they buy a pet for their child the child will ultimately get bored of it and it is the parent who will end up looking after it.

We have lots of animals (dogs, cats, birds, rabbit) but although some of them (budgie/rabbit) are ds's, the only reason I allowed him to have them was because I am a huge animal lover and have no issue with being the one left to look after them. I was the one who spent hours with the budgie getting it tame enough for ds to be able to let out, i am the one who goes out in the rain to feed/clean the rabbit. If I wasn't prepared to do that then we wouldn't have the animals. And if I'm honest we have the animals as much for me as for ds .

I do think that having animals taches children some responsibility. I also don't think that animals should be considered throw away items that you can get rid of when you've had enough. When my first guide dog retired there obviously was no question that I would keep her as I couldn't bear to part with her. But also one very important factor for me was that I didn't want ds growing up thinking that when a dog gets old you can just get rid of it and get a new one.

Also whoever said that there are lots of charities who will take on unwanted animals, that's not always the case. A work colleague of my mum's was looking to rehome her rabbit and none of the rehoming charities were able to take him on because they are inundated with them. Rabbits are the most popular pets in the UK and are also the pet that is most abandoned as people take them on and really don't realize the amount of work they involve (cleaning cage every day for instance).

Scorpio tbh I would be inclined to either have a harsh word with your friend, or a word in the ear of the seller. Yes maybe it's your friend's mistake to make, but this is a question of animal welfare, and is it really fair that an animal potentially has to suffer in order for your friend to learn from the situation?

bonkerz · 03/08/2008 18:47

YANBU, i recently rescued 2 rabbits (tuesday) who had been left to fend for themselves in a grden whilst the owner went on a 3 week holiday, the owner had left noone in charge of the animals and she had 2 guineas and 2 rabbits all in together. Unfortunately in the hot weather over the weekend the guineas died and i only realised the rabbits were in the garden when the RSPCA left notes all over the house. I have nopw taken the rabbits in and they are doing really well.

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