to be sick of people who buy jemima/shaznee a pet rabbit/guinea pig/hamster then fail to look after it when the child gets bored?

[DANCESwithLordPottingtonSmythe]

JUST DON'T GET ONE if you don't want to look after it (because if you have half a brain cell you will know that children will not always want to clean out a dirty cage so you will end up doing it). It's animal cruelty to leave it in a cage full of it's own faeces. YOUR CHILDREN DO NOT NEED TO HAVE EVERYTHING THEY WANT. GRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrr this makes me so (having recently seen a prime example at a friend's house).

[bonkerz]

YANBU, i recently rescued 2 rabbits (tuesday) who had been left to fend for themselves in a grden whilst the owner went on a 3 week holiday, the owner had left noone in charge of the animals and she had 2 guineas and 2 rabbits all in together. Unfortunately in the hot weather over the weekend the guineas died and i only realised the rabbits were in the garden when the RSPCA left notes all over the house. I have nopw taken the rabbits in and they are doing really well.

[wannaBe]

no yanbu. Surely any parent should realize that when they buy a pet for their child the child will ultimately get bored of it and it is the parent who will end up looking after it.

We have lots of animals (dogs, cats, birds, rabbit) but although some of them (budgie/rabbit) are ds's, the only reason I allowed him to have them was because I am a huge animal lover and have no issue with being the one left to look after them. I was the one who spent hours with the budgie getting it tame enough for ds to be able to let out, i am the one who goes out in the rain to feed/clean the rabbit. If I wasn't prepared to do that then we wouldn't have the animals. And if I'm honest we have the animals as much for me as for ds .

I do think that having animals taches children some responsibility. I also don't think that animals should be considered throw away items that you can get rid of when you've had enough. When my first guide dog retired there obviously was no question that I would keep her as I couldn't bear to part with her. But also one very important factor for me was that I didn't want ds growing up thinking that when a dog gets old you can just get rid of it and get a new one.

Also whoever said that there are lots of charities who will take on unwanted animals, that's not always the case. A work colleague of my mum's was looking to rehome her rabbit and none of the rehoming charities were able to take him on because they are inundated with them. Rabbits are the most popular pets in the UK and are also the pet that is most abandoned as people take them on and really don't realize the amount of work they involve (cleaning cage every day for instance).

Scorpio tbh I would be inclined to either have a harsh word with your friend, or a word in the ear of the seller. Yes maybe it's your friend's mistake to make, but this is a question of animal welfare, and is it really fair that an animal potentially has to suffer in order for your friend to learn from the situation?

[catsmother]

NOT unreasonable at all.

ANY animal is ultimately the responsibility of the adult(s) who buy it in the 1st place .... it's no good expecting that the child(ren) concerned will necessarily step up to the mark, and if they don't (or won't) there is no excuse to then neglect the animal.

It makes me so-oooo mad because it's all so unnecessary. Where parents don't accept full responsibility it's not only akin to them viewing the animal as some sort of disposable toy, but also indicative of how spoilt their kids almost certainly are.

Stories like LEM relates make me weep. Even if you are too lazy, selfish and cruel to look after an animal you decided to buy in the first place, these people could contact one of the many organisations and charities who will generously take them off your hands. They won't even insist on a donation to help with costs if you plead poverty ............ yet people would rather the animal led a neglected, unhappy life (often plagued with ill-health too) rather than make that teensy bit of effort to put right their own stupid mistake.

[belgo]

My dd1 was given her rabbit for her fourth birthday by another family member. Obviously I have taken reasonability for it, wa wanted to get a rabbit anyway. But the problem with it being given to her as a birthday present really makes her think that it is her possession, a toy like a doll for her to do as she pleases, and it's been quite hard teaching her that this isn't the case.

[wotulookinat]

YANBU. Any pet needs work to keep it happy and healthy. It's such a shame that so many people go into it blindly, without looking at the long term work or costs involved.
And a rabbit is a very easy pet, in my opinion, but still needs exercise, company, a clean hutch and a varied diet. We have a very happy bunny in our garden who is currently pulling a cardboard box to pieces!

[meglet]

YANBU. I discovered I was only allowed a guinea pig at age 7 because my mum realised she would probably end up doing most of the pet care and she had always fancied getting one. She didn't tell me that part until i was older though.

[lucyellensmum]

The thing is scorpio there is actually very little you can do. If you value your friendship then don't phone the seller. Just let your friend know what sort of financial commitment she is letting herself in for. I really do think 3 is far to young for a pony - woldnt she fair better sending DD to lessons anyway.

Its her call, tell her you are concerned she wont be able to care for the thing properly. For one thing, if the horse isnt ridden regularly then it is going to be a very difficult little pony, NOT for beginer owners thats for sure.

My DD is three and there is no way on this earth i would buy her a pony, even though it would be my dream come true and im very of your friend. Too young, its dangerous. Did you know that my DPs life insurance had a clause in it that wouldn't cover a horse riding accident as it is considered a HIGH RISK sport. It is, dangerous, people are crippled riding horses and imagine what a kick in the stomach could do to a three year old - i can tell you, ruptured spleen/liver. This happened on a local yard, thankfully the mother put the girl in the car and drove her to A&E instead of waiting for ambulance, they told her if she was a couple of minutes later she would have died from internal bleeding. Thankfully she made afull recovery.

[scorpio1]

i know, scottishmummy. it will be a lesson learnt hopefully. i hope she proves me wrong!

[scottishmum007]

scorpio, let them make their own mistakes. there's no point interfering in other folk's personal business. they never thank you for it (even though it seems the right thing to do)

[scorpio1]

anyway i will ask her about those things on the list.

[scorpio1]

LEM - she has ridden plenty as a child but never owned or loaned. She certainly does not have money to burn - like i said earlier she could not afford to come to the pub the other day. I know what their income is because our dhs work together, but they have more rent than us + debts (which we dont) and i could not afford a pony.

I don't know what to do. Have thought of ringing seller and saying not to sell to her.

[scottishmum007]

i've got better things to spend my money on than a pet, fair do's to those who choose to fork out that amount. phew lucyellensmum, that list is fairly exhaustive!!

[lucyellensmum]

I realise that now Dances Jemima V posh

[lucyellensmum]

Then you should tell her scorpio that it wont stop at £600 pounds.

Firstly, where are they planning on keeping it? Full livery for a pony can be between £40 to £70 per WEEK. It is less if you DIY but she doesnt sound like she has the time. If the horse is shod, it will need the farrier to visit every six to eight weeks - wince, another £60! even if its not shod it will need its feet checked at least. Then there is vaccinations, wormers (£15 a month if i remember rightly ) Cant remember how much vaccinations cost as i worked in a vets when i was looking into getting a horse so would have got that free. Still coudlnt afford it. What else, insurance and absolute must - my friend has a pony, she gets a discout because she is a vet and it still costs £200 a MONTH I kid you not! Food is actually the cheapest bit. But it will need tack unless he comes with that, often they do - but you are looking anywhere up to £500 for new tack. The list goes on, and on, and on..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hence i remain horseless.

So, does your friend know ANYTHING about horses, a visit from a vet will cost about £40 before you start, most things wont be covered by insurance as the excess wont cover it etc.

Shetland ponies, whilst lovely are stubborn little feckers and STRONG, My friend has one, he stands about 30" from the ground and pulled me over when i was looking after him and im a big old bird.

So lets think monthly outlay then;
Livery/grazing - £200
Insurance - £150
wormer - £10
Feed - £20
Shoes/feet £30

That is looking at the cheaper options - So, thats what? £410 a month!! She must have money to burn. I know lots of people with horses, they all have good jobs, but will tell you their horses keep them poor.

[DANCESwithLordPottingtonSmythe]

Lucyellensmum - the reason I said jemima/shaznee was to imply it applied to ALL classes FGS. (Jemima - posh, shaznee - not posh)

[MarmadukeScarlet]

£600 for a shetland? Can it fly or something?

I have shetlands, adorable but farking pita and not good first lead rein ponies either as legs so short make for a bumpy ride.

[scottishmum007]

YANBU. That's why we won't be having any pets. They're a tie if you want to go anywhere on hols etc.

[scorpio1]

her dh and mine work together so i know how much her family earns, she is a SAHM like me. They cannot afford it.

[scorpio1]

they could not afford to come to the pub the other day with us. says it all really.

[scorpio1]

i think its very silly of her. her eldest dc is 3, she has an 18mth old and is pg again, has had to get rid of a rabbit, cat and a puppy lately because she cannot cope...

its a shetland. i dont even know where she is going to keep it. The pony is £600 - i know for a fact she has a huge tax bill to pay (priorities??)but she is not the person to tell what to do...i just know it will be flavour of the month and then get left. She text yesterday saying pony is lovely, if dc like it then i will get it (urr, she is 3, of fucking course she is going to like it you dick)

Sorry, just angry about it.

[lucyellensmum]

ah but at least with a pony, if she has more money than sense, she can stick the thing in livery and pay someone else to look after it and take little jemima along once a week do sit on its back! Actually, most of the children who I have seen with horses tend to grow up really quickly, have a good sense of responsibility and get really involved in their horses care. Then of course, most of them discover boys . Three is too young in my opinion to benefit from her own pony but if her parents have the money then i can only say i am .

[lucyellensmum]

I have seen this so many times when i worked at the vets. Negelected bunny rabbits, stuck in their cages to rot - litereally in some cases as we had to treat so many poor bastards with fly strike (maggot infestation basically eating them away) Where they have been left to fester in their own shit all day [agnry] Ive had to put down too many bunnies who were too far gone to save - to be fair, fly strike can be fatal within hours and can affect even the most fastidious owners bunnies. But when i used to get peopele ring me and say "my rabbit has a shitty bum, what can i do" i would say, "bring it in, we will clip and clean it for you - it will most likely have urine scold and that is incredibly painful, also there is the risk of fly strike" then i would get, well i can't come at this time because i have to take little jemima to ballet, i cant get there, "how much?" yes, well its expensive owning a pet and there are time commitments, get used to it.

Breaks my heart.

Cage pets were far the most badly treated and it wasn't just the jemimia/shaznee mums either, as the OP implied, it was mostly the middle class, "my children operate to a tight schedule" parents taht were the worse, especially when it came to paying. The working classes tend to be more conciencious about animal care ime.

I am actually crap about looking after cage pets myself and have said that there will be definately NO cage pets in my house again, EVER. I don't care how much DD pleads, no hamsters, no rabbits, no guinea pigs, nothing. She has a dog, so she is lucky.

[cornsilk]

A pony at 3? What's she going to follow that one up with then? A lion?

[DANCESwithLordPottingtonSmythe]

Scorpio - 3yrs old?! I think you need to have a word with your friend, maybe about costs if common sense is otherwise lacking!

[VictorianSqualor]

My friend used to do this all the time, the amount of dogs/cats/rabbits etc she has had then got bored of is ridiculous.

Even her mum says what's the bloody point when she gets one.

She likes the idea of having a pet but not the reality of it. My cat was actually hers but we took it with us one day after we went round to see her and she was moaning about how it annoyed her.

YANBU