To not opt for term time only childcare?

[9mon]

I work 3 days a week in a school so in school holidays I get a bit of a break.

We are struggling a bit for money and could save by opting for term time only. I know I should go for this but six weeks of both children and absolutely no respite makes me go a bit cold.

Everyone’s going to tell me I’m BU and just get on with it aren’t they? 😭

Give yourself the respite if you need it. If you can manage two days respite a week that would be a compromise

Depends how much you need more money? If your
need it then yes, you should go term time only. Or get a summer job for a couple of days a week if that’s possible and have one day to yourself each week.

Not at all! DH and I are both teachers so technically we could have DS in term time only childcare, but we don't. Partly because the consistent routine is good for him (he's always a bit unsettled going back to nursery if we've been away for a while), and partly because we need a break too!

During the holidays we do travel (with DS) quite a bit, but we also make sure we have a few days/weeks when he's in nursery and we're off, so we get some downtime as well.

My other worry is it would be unsettling for the younger one especially because I’d be going back to work 3 weeks before the end of term. So she’d be in childcare for 3 weeks, 6 weeks off then back.

Depends how badly you need the money/can afford it.

Why not go term time only and then book them into a few days of football club / ballet club / swimming club in the holidays to break it all up?

They are too young @Baddaybigcloud : one will only be a year old in July and the other one is only three.

Getting a summer job would only make a negligible difference to finances when childcare is factored in. And I do get paid through the holidays so technically am ‘working.’ We’ve just had an expensive year as I’ve been on maternity leave and had a number of unexpected expenses (always!)

It’s down to what you can reasonably afford i think. It’s fine to use the full time childcare but obviously not at the expense of losing your home or something.

Some nurseries will let you book extra days ad hoc.

My friend is a teacher and her kids were on a term time only contract but then she'd book them in for ad hoc days in the holidays. This helped keep them familiar with it when they were tiny, let her catch up on work with them happily occupied, and gave her some days to herself.

Would your nursery consider that? Then you could book them in one or two days on weeks you're not on holiday but you aren't paying full whack in the hols.

I know how you feel, the baby stage is relentless!

Is there a compromise possible eg 1 or 2 days during the summer, or 3 mornings but not full days.

If I let my daughters space go in July- it wouldn’t be there come September !

@JennyfromtheBlok but that’s not what we’re talking about here. We aren’t discussing letting a place go. We’re discussing two types of contracts: one is term time only and one is year round. So that post wasn’t relevant.

@minipie i don’t think there is really although ad hoc might be possible. If I was to opt for this it would be a change of nursery for the eldest one - there are advantages to this but it’s a balancing act. The new nursery having a term time only option is both drawing me and terrifying me

As it is DS(3) attends for two days a week. His sister will start at 11.5 months and she will do three days. I had planned to use that ‘extra’ day over the summer to do things with DS as he’s been a bit shoved out this year.

If I go for the new nursery I’d probably just keep DS off over the summer and start him in September.

I'd have childcare in term time only. A perk of teaching is that you get to spend time with your kids over the holidays.

I've kept mine in nursery 3 days per week in the school holidays. I'm already running on empty, and need the respite to be the best mam I can be. I have no regrets. Places are limited so I would recommend booking it, you can always drop a day if you don't need it, which is easier than waiting for a place if you know what I mean

😂

I mean yes but you can have too much of a good thing!

I'd go for the TTO option, and put in ad hoc days over the holidays.

Any way you can find 9 days of DH annual leave or grandparent care to cover the first 3 weeks, and then start nursery in September?

No - it’s a pain and that does worry me because I think it would be very disruptive for DD. It might be possible to have her on the year round contract and DS tto but she’s the more expensive one.

However nice it would be in some ways to have them in nursery year round, if you're struggling for money then I'm afraid it's a no-brainer for me.

(I’m very much at the weighing up stage)

The advantages are obviously financial, get to spend more time with them.

The drawbacks are

Unsettling for the little one

Housework - it really is very very hard to keep on top of everything when I have them both. The little one sleeps for a couple of hours in the afternoon and I generally do my cleaning then but it’s hard when I have them both as her naps are less predictable as she cat naps in the car and pram a lot.

Things I usually do in the holidays like meet up with friends of mine who live a couple of hours away, hairdresser, dentist, are out.

While I’ll save money on childcare I will have to keep them entertained (they are NOT chill out in our pjs days sort of kids 😆)

I won’t get any one to one time with DS

So … I still don’t know!

DH is a teacher and we haven’t opted for term time only childcare simply for the same reasons - he needs a break and gets very burnt out from working full time in a school that has a lot of behavioural problems. However, soon he will never have a school holiday child free once our DS is in school.

However, he does spend most the time doing DIY on our house as we bought a renovation project late last year and he couldn’t do half the things if our toddler was around.

So, I totally get why you wouldn’t opt for term time nursery if you can afford not to.

@Firsttimetrier this is also on my mind as DS starts school September 25. In fairness he’s fairly easy in many ways, as much as I can take him to soft play on a rainy day and just let him run but I can’t meet with friends or get my hair done!

I've done both (DH and I are both teachers). This year I've been on maternity leave and money has been tighter so we went down to term time only for DS 3.5. Its been manageable as we are both around. He has also dropped down to 3 days and does the others with me and the baby.

When he was full time we have family near and far so find we did pay for a lot of days we didn't use. But the last three weeks have been fairly relentless with very little time to ourselves or to get anything done. We usually spend at least 20/30 quid entertaining both of them for the day if you factor in food/travel etc and often it's more than this. I do try to take a packed lunch and we have a few memberships but very little is free.

Both of them will be in full time from September and we will probably be away with family for some of each holiday and then use the rest for DIY/working/time to ourselves/appointments like hair and dentist. The money we have saved on childcare this year will help pay for having both of them in full time. There's a lot of things to balance. DS obviously prefers being with us but he's also more settled in a routine when he's at nursery.

When they are both in school i reakon we'll do half with us and then some time in holiday clubs they want to go to so we can get stuff done. There's a lot to balance but don't feel guilty - it's very hard work looking after other people's kids for 6 weeks and then your own for 2 with no break!

It is hard, isn’t it? I always feel a sense of guilty relief when I drop DS at nursery. It isn’t because he’s difficult, in some ways he’s the easier of the two (although we have the throes of threenager!) but it’s just easier when you’ve only one set of needs to manage.

Also I meant to add I think it's a bit different if you are the only teacher in the family and it's all on you. I joked to my DH this year that I was going to pay myself £77 a day from the family pot to look after DS on the days I had taken him out of nursery! If your partner gets to take annual leave without the children and you are looking after a child all holiday I wouldn't want that.

Also to add @9mon I had an abundance of annual leave to take this year from my maternity leave and on some of my days off, I still put my DS in nursery so I could sit in silence for a few hours 😂.

Parenting full time, plus working full time, running a household etc is so full on that you do need time to rest and look after yourself. You shouldn’t feel guilty for that.