To ask if there was ever a time in your life

[AquaBee]

When everything was perfect and just as you wanted it to be ?

I am late thirties now and have never felt this way except maybe when I was about seven or eight years old.

No, not even when I was 7 or 8. But I have always been the sort to look on the gloomy side. You will get more cheerful responses from people, I'm sure!

I’m pretty much there right now. I mean, of course it’s not actually perfect and I’m stressed out regularly and there’s never enough time or energy, but overall this feels like the good times.

Actual perfect, everything as you’d want it to be is a fantasy though

When I had my daughter. We had been trying for years, had a miscarriage then a surprise pregnancy straight after. I had a brutal pregnancy with severe mental health issues.

Then she was born, naturally, calmly, gas and air only. The black cloud lifted, the anxiety melted away and I have never felt joy like it. I had a well paid maternity leave, my husband worked good shifts so was around a lot. I breastfed and was so lucky to have no issues with it. She was the most perfect angel baby, we snuggled, fed, napped, for weeks and weeks. I was so happy in my newborn bubble and will always remember it as the best time of my life. I thought we would never be lucky enough to have a baby after trying so long. It was all I had ever wanted in my life.

I have times where I feel like it's perfect, moments of absolute happiness.

Of course it isn't perfect and eventually you remember that.

I think I have usually felt this way? Maybe a combination of good luck and having fairly ordinary aspirations (marriage, kids, job etc).

I’ve felt this way for the past five years or so. I love my lifestyle, my many wonderful friends, my career, my home, my neighbourhood. Perfect from my point of view possibly doesn’t look like a lot of other people’s idea of perfect, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Perhaps that’s the secret: not comparing yourself and your life to other people’s and finding what you have coming up short.

I had about 30 years when I was very aware I'd had a very charmed life with very little adversity and always felt it couldn't last.

The Christmas just gone.

DS had just turned three and was absolutely delightful, excited about everything and lovely. DD was five months and soooo lovely and snuggly.

They are still delightful and snuggly but DD is trying to walk and crawl and so cute but a bit exhausting and DS is in the throes of threenager so things are a bit trickier!

And to be honest just after I had DD, I was in a complete baby bubble. I didn’t have it with DS.

Newly married. Both gorgeous, mid 20s. Shagged at will. Materially we didn't have what we have now but we didn't need that. DC1 arrived a year later and it was emotional but blissful. We are still happy and we have 'more' now (and the pressures which go with it) but those few years were special ❤️

That said, there have been "perfect" moments in imperfect situations and vice versa dotted around since. Rose tinted (or cynical, I have those too..!) glasses probably have a lot to do with people's perceptions of the past. And it's how you feel at the time, not what objectively is going the "right" way for you. Objectively I never have and probably never will have what you are asking about op, not will most people. It's about valuing the moments for their own sake as they arise.

I’ve felt this way since leaving a stressful job to a wfh role that’s hugely flexible, although a Lot! less money - so, about 4 years.
I’m no longer tired all the time and wake feeling content each morning without an alarm.
I’m slightly older than you, but I think a large part is having a smaller circle of friends now; the ability to say no more easily, and simply being able to rest when I need to; eat and exercise when I feel like it…(appreciate this is easier said than done if you have little people in the house!) but I think seeing to your body’s physical needs intuitively has a profound effect on your general psyche and sense of well-being ‘behind the scenes’, which might lead to that peaceful state you remember from your childhood.

I also live quite a simple - some would say boring!- life, but it’s calm and gentle and cosy :)

Well define perfect?
There are things in my life which I wish were different (bereavement, estrangement, unresolved childhood trauma - you know, the run of mill stuff that most people have experienced by the time they hit 40)…. But they have always been there and always will be. I will always grieve for people I love who have died for example.

And things like realising my parents are aging and have alignments, I worry about them… but these aren’t things we can change. It is the natural progression of life.

It doesn’t stop me loving and enjoying my life as it is now. At a surface level the only thing I would change would be to have slightly more time to myself, just a few more hours a week. I am genuinely very happy. The last 7/8 years have been great for the most part. Mid 40s now

No.

No.

I have several major illnesses and have had since teens.

That's not to say I'm not happy - I have definite moments of joy and on the whole my life is much better than it was 5 years ago but no-one would choose my life given my situation.

Yes. Most of my 30’s when I was newly married, travelled lots, my kids were little and cute, and my dad was still alive. I’m sure I had bad days but I remember that time as being pretty golden.

Now early 50s, like many others I have the triple whammy of teenagers, menopause and elderly relatives. Frankly it’s all a bit shit.

Yes but it was very fleeting. I remember driving along with my favourite song playing, the sun was out and I was falling in love. Two days later I was driving the other way tears as I had been dumped. I just always remember that perfect moment and how happy and content I felt.

Perfect is relative to your expectations. If you count your blessings and always try to make the best of things and be optimistic then I think it's possible to think things are pretty good in some less than perfect situations.

I've lost my mum, dad, best friend and more recently my darling dog.

But that said, I have a beloved and loving husband, good friends, we are all in good health, a nice little home and garden, spring is here and I have enough of all the things I need.

That's perfect enough for me and I am very grateful for every second of that.

Yes.
There have been lots of 'moments'.
But, as a pp said, you realise that of course no life is 'perfect'.
All lives have ups and downs, peaks and troughs.

My early-mid 20s were fantastic. In my (at the time) dream job, in that initial passionate phase of my relationship with now-DH, enjoying huge perks of our careers (travel, expenses, social life etc). I felt like all my dreams had come true.

I had a baby at 27, who has complex additional needs. He is the best thing that ever happened to he, but having him definitely brought an abrupt end to my fantasy lifestyle!

I’m 47 now and feeling quite happy and lucky with where I’m at abd very aware that this is a golden moment in my life. Parents both still alive and reasonably healthy. Happy marriage. Kids still at home and we have a good relationship. I’m doing well in my (second) career. I feel lucky. I know life can throw up major curve balls at any moment, so I count my blessings.

1996. I was 15. Life peaked in 1996.

Nope, on the whole my life hasn't been easy & the good times have been fleeting.

So much so that I can't properly enjoy it when it's good as I'm always anticipating the next hurdle, however large or small it may be.

That being said, I'd still choose my life over anyone else's.

No, but I wouldn’t expect it. I’m ambitious, restless and easily bored.

Most of my life. Sometimes you have to steer your own ship to find happiness instead of letting life just happen to you.

Yes. Late 40s.