Life after messy end to job?

[Islandblue99]

Posting here for traffic.

Can anyone reassure me with their success stories of surviving after a messy end to a job?

Briefly, I have worked for a number of years for a company. I’ve built a good reputation in those years (confirmed in all of my annual review documents by management) and although it’s not always been enjoyable (the company has exercised a few questionable practices over the years and I have a line manager of a few years who has made it clear she feels threatened by me (I have more experience but have tried my hardest to keep out of her way/avert my gaze/appease her as much as I can) which have caused me to job hunt a number of times) I’ve largely enjoyed it and had, over the last year, decided this was where I was going to happily stay for the foreseeable future. Having been assured of it (verbally) previously, I was expecting a promotion this year.

Cut to early this year when I got very stressed over a large piece of work, received no support and ended up in hospital with a stress related injury which I now require surgery for. After a very short period of sick leave I returned and it was made very clear they now want to get rid of me. Lots of accusations were levelled at me (which I can show with evidence are not true) and they’re accusing me of underperformance.

It looks like I’m going to be unemployed imminently, in one way or another, which is an alien situation for me. I have a buffer to lean on for a few months and I have an interview lined up but my confidence is at an all time low and the job market for my profession is exceptionally quiet at the moment.

Having been accused of underperformance (although in my more lucid and logical moments I know this isn’t true) I feel shame and my inkling feelings of imposter syndrome are now at the forefront.

Have people survived this and come back with confidence?

How have you explained a career gap?

Have you successfully hidden this from future employers?

[Islandblue99]

Bump

[GlobetrottingPercy]

I have had a similar situation where I was told I would be investigated for gross misconduct and potentially dismissed for a number of issues (that had never ever been raised) after I refused to sign a statement to say that one of the directors hadn’t said something in a meeting (he absolutely had). I had been there under 2 years so had no employment rights to fall back on so had to just resign.

It really knocked my confidence and made me doubt myself and my abilities, which had never been questioned before. I got over it by speaking to recruiters about what I was looking for and going through them to manage the employer rather than going directly for jobs as they could explain why I was immediately available.

Depending on your industry, there are more people on the job market at the moment and it’s not uncommon for people to have unfortunately been made redundant and be looking for work. Reasons that you can give for unemployment could be that you wanted a role closer to home, better work life balance, something more aligned with your values and experience etc. There is no reason why your next employer would ever find out about this unless you are dismissed and your current employer states that on your reference under reason for leaving.

Stay strong and remember that you work to live, not live to work and that no job is worth the stress that you are under and the treatment that you are receiving.

[Islandblue99]

@GlobetrottingPercy thank you!

I feel very naive for being unaware that this sort of thing happens. I felt so sure of myself and confident in my role that I’ve spent the last few weeks in complete shock that this is happening. It’s going to take a long time before I feel confident and comfortable in a role again, if ever.

I just have to get out now before I’m sacked and I’m hoping to set the wheels in motion this week.

Thank you for the advice regarding reasons to give future employers and sorry to hear about what happened to you.

[Hankunamatata]

Start applying for jobs now. I'd go before I'm pushed.
Are you in a union?

[Confusedmeanderings]

Definitely go before you're pushed. I had a messy end to a job a few years back and jumped ship before they could sack me. It had been a career that I loved, but pressures had built up and I had burned out. I totally lost my confidence. I was watching one of those antique programmes on the telly when I had a bit of a lightbulb moment and thought "I could do that." So I did. I started small, selling on line. Now I also sell in 3 different retail spaces, stand at a couple of fairs and run my own fair. I don't earn as much as I used to, but it's enough. I can cover the bills and have enough for the odd treat. I am so much happier. My advice would be don't just look for a job similar to the one you do now. Be open to everything.

[tiredinoratia]

Get legal support. Access a union. Have you been placed on a PIP. Sounds like constructive dismissal to me. Get advice.

[Thetraitor]

Yes I know someone who two years ago was off sick then whole off a ‘complaint’ came in about them - what actually had happened was someone had visited the service - going round and asked questions pulled people into 1:1s asked leading questions then the person off was sent an invite to an ‘investigation’ - the allegations were all of things that had happened many years before and all could be disproven but they were suspended and paid off to go with an NDA. They were very unwell - and have now come completely out the other side. They are in a more senior position than previously with a different company and doing incredibly well.

[Islandblue99]

Thanks everyone.

I’m not in a union but I have a solicitor who I’ll catch up with today. I also have a job interview lined up (probably not something I would have considered taking previously but I have a mortgage and children so I’ll see how that goes).

They told me they were going to put me on a PIP (no informal stage, meetings about it so far not documented to me and years of documented excellent performance) but I’m signed off sick. The issue related to one small section of work I did that wasn’t finished (and wasn’t due to be finished) amongst a huge project I’d worked on for months. They’ve acknowledged in writing that they know it was rushed due to time pressures, I wasn’t well at the time, they knew I was stressed, the work was complex, the goal posts kept changing and I wasn’t given an opportunity to finish it.

During a meeting they’ve argued I have a “history of under performance” but when pressed couldn’t provide me with any details because “it was so long ago”.

I know my line manager doesn’t like me but I’d hoped we’d got to a point where she at least had some respect for me. It’s the behaviour of two other senior managers which has shocked me. One came up with the vague accusation under performance from years ago and the other, who has previously told me how important I am to the company, is apparently fully backing this line manager.

I think HR want rid of me because of the possible personal injury claim (and I have some very damning emails they wouldn’t want getting out).

The panic from the last few weeks hasn’t completely gone but some has been replaced with anger and just feeling sad about it all. I enjoyed that job and I have lots of evidence that people thought I was good at it (including my line manager!).

[tiredinoratia]

Chat with your solicitor. And keep those emails....then move on.

[MistyCoco]

What a horrible situation for you to be in, I’m so sorry.

The most important thing now is that you leave on your own terms and negotiate a settlement that you deserve and which lets you take some time off to recover and find a new job. The whole thing currently has constructive dismissal written all over it. You’re doing absolutely the right thing by getting legal advice.

At the same time re-writing your CV, making sure your LinkedIn profile is strong and reaching out to your network are all worth prioritising and it sounds like you’re already well on the way with your job hunt. Best of luck.

[Islandblue99]

Thanks everyone.

I keep having to remind myself that I will get through this.

I’m interviewing for jobs and so have my fingers crossed something comes through but I think it would be useful to have a small gap just to have time to try to build my confidence back up and recover from this mess before starting a new role.

Having seen family and colleagues go through personal issues and get support from their companies the response from my company to a very short period of leave (for a serious physical issue) has shocked me.

I think I’ll be extremely cautious going forward and I worry I won’t feel fully secure in any role after this experience.

[SewingBees]

I had a really bad experience after maternity leave where I was driven out of my job by managers who accused me of all sorts of incompetence, none of which could be proven (because it was untrue), and then they tried to push me into a sham redundancy situation.

It affected me badly, I struggled a lot with feelings of betrayal having worked so hard for them. I found a good lawyer who helped me to lodge a huge grievance and then negotiate a settlement so they didn't have to respond to the grievance and could pay me to go away. I really wanted to go to tribunal to make public how they'd behaved, but ultimately for my own sanity it was better to take the settlement, sign an NDA and move on. I took a few months to get over the stress of it all, then started job hunting.

I'm still angry about it years later but have learned to let it go, and have ended up in another role with a wonderful team, less stress and much more supportive management.

Good luck x

[Islandblue99]

@SewingBees sorry to hear what happened to you.

At a previous company I was offered a demotion after maternity leave and threatened with redundancy if I didn’t accept (plus I had a manager stand over me with his finger pushed in my face whilst he yelled at me). I submitted a grievance which, typically, they didn’t see in my favour for but suddenly everything changed, the demotion disappeared and I was suddenly back on track.

I’ve interviewed for a role today which I would have previously stayed clear of (tiny company, not very well known but an opportunity to learn something new (if a bit all hands on deck attitude, slightly thrown in at the deep end)). They seemed keen but I’ll find out soon whether they want to progress with me.

Would people recommend I go for the first job that comes along or hold out? My industry is so quiet at the moment and I worry nothing else will come up, even if it is a role I would have given a wide berth to previously.

[Creamcoconut]

I had a semi messy job end, toxic leadership, with weird values and staff on the ground being seen as collateral damage. I tried to communicate concerns but in the end just before resigning I discretely reported issues to the governing body. It was effective and ironed out problematic areas but in the process completely upset managements apple cart. Although it was the right thing to do it did give me many sleepless nights. I’m now happily working for one of their competitors, great ethos, and everyone’s experience /knowledge is respected. I’ve learnt a lot through the process, about courage and being true to myself.

[Creamcoconut]

Go for the job!

[Creamcoconut]

Go for the job if it interests you!

[GlobetrottingPercy]

I would say that if the job interests you and you feel excited about the opportunity, take it. If you don’t feel excited about it, don’t take it and wait for something better to come along. Or take it and view it as a stopgap for a year if your industry is that quiet. You have options available to you!

The only thing I would say is that the job market is brutal in many sectors right now. In my industry people are submitting applications for roles that are a sideways step and not even hearing back. I know a friend got an email saying they liked her CV and wanted to arrange a call, she sent her availability and never heard from them again. If you want to recover your confidence then a long time on the job market may not be the best way to do that. Just worth bearing in mind if you do have an opportunity that is suitable but doesn’t leave you with any time out.

[Nanny0gg]

@Islandblue99

@GlobetrottingPercy thank you!

I feel very naive for being unaware that this sort of thing happens. I felt so sure of myself and confident in my role that I’ve spent the last few weeks in complete shock that this is happening. It’s going to take a long time before I feel confident and comfortable in a role again, if ever.

I just have to get out now before I’m sacked and I’m hoping to set the wheels in motion this week.

Thank you for the advice regarding reasons to give future employers and sorry to hear about what happened to you.

Have you spoken to ACAS?

[Islandblue99]

@Nanny0gg yeah, I called them a couple of weeks ago but they weren’t a lot of help. I have a solicitor now though who’s advising me.

[KiwiLondoner]

Absolutely seek legal support - this sounds like disability discrimination/ constructive dismissal. My advice is to not quit - seek legal support and if needed, raise a formal grievance

[EdithArtois]

If you have something on them then surely you could be looking for some kind of settlement situation?

[Islandblue99]

@EdithArtois yes, I’ve raised a formal grievance and I’ve handed over to my solicitor now to try to agree a severance package.

[T00thbrushPack]

Lots of people have moved or are looking to move jobs after covid eg smaller commute

Secondly, people are also looking to move jobs, due to the higher costs of living eg better pay, better T&Cs

Start job hunting

Goodluck

[Islandblue99]

@SewingBees can I ask about the NDA? I work in an industry with a very small pool of people. I’ll likely bump in to my current colleagues at future events, I may even work with them again as their client and (as my annual review stated!) I have very good relationships with them. Some of my colleagues I would class as good friends, one has been witness to what the company has been doing to me and has been horrified at the way they’re acting. Two have found me on social media since I’ve gone on sick leave (and knowing what’s been happening) have contacted me to see if I’m ok and offer reassurance. When I leave, if they ask what happened what do I say??

[Netaporter]

@Islandblue99 if an NDA is part of the package you can’t say anything except exchange pleasantries and general chat about your industry. However, these days if you are being asked to sign an NDA to avoid a dubious company practice being revealed, I’d hope your solicitor is getting you a maximum sum. Please ensure you are using a specialist employment solicitor to represent you rather than a high street solicitor- they are more expensive but ultimately will get you a better settlement and terms which will make you feel more confident about your worth moving forward.

As the old adage goes, it is easier to get a job when you’ve got a job. In your shoes I’d Continue exploring opportunities with the smaller firm whilst your exit negotiations with your current employers are ongoing. If you are going to be able to pay the mortgage and learn a new skill simultaneously it isn’t a terrible move and is explainable when you might start applying for future moves.

Sorry you are going through this. Remember this is all about process. If your current firm has not followed due process or their own procedures as per your company handbook they are on the back foot. Exit negotiations are like a game of chess so try and think a couple of moves ahead. Ultimately a win-win will be a good settlement, time off on gardening leave with your kids and a new job. Good luck!