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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To turn downstairs room into a bedroom for 1 child

73 replies

Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 19:39

Name changed in case this is outing

We live in a 3 bed house and have 3 children, ds(13), dd1(11) and dd2(7). All bedrooms are a good size and the girls share. This has worked well so far, everyone happy. However dd1 would really love her own room. She's at an age where she just wants more privacy than her sister gives her. They are very close and she's so good with her but she always been content in her own company and now actively craves alone time

Their current room isn't able to be divided, its long but not very deep and the only way of splitting it would mean one person wouldn't have a window. I know there are set ups with bunk beds you can do to split a room but they don't want bunk beds. Ds's room can't be split but we do have a playroom downstairs that's a great size. I did suggest us taking that and give dd1 our room but we have an en suite so hubby doesn't want to do that. Ds is happy to have that as his room but this makes me nervy for some reason, having him on a different floor to us. Is that ridiculous? I think my worry is, should someone break in, it would be him they disturb.

So what do you think, would you be comfortable with this?

OP posts:
sandyhappypeople · 28/03/2024 19:46

I had a downstairs room for a while at that age and it was okay.

I thought it was a good idea at the time, but came to find I don’t like sleeping on the ground floor at the front of the house though.. I used to have creepy thoughts that if I opened the curtains someone would be standing at the window! It was a temporary arrangement and when my eldest sister moved out I went back upstairs.

also, just bear in mind that you can disturb each other with tvs, gaming, moving around noise at night etc, having friends over.

why not try it for a few weeks (before you give away his room and fully moving everyone around) to see if it’s a workable solution.

HelloMiss · 28/03/2024 19:49

You should ensure there is a working carbon monoxide detector

Is the room near a gas boiler?

Original poster
Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 19:50

That's a good idea actually, thank you. It needs to be converted as there is one door that goes into that room and the kitchen (hard to explain) but I think we'd like to do that anyway so maybe we will try that.
Sadly it would be a long term thing though as, despite the house having great potential to build over the garage, I can't see us ever being able to afford that

OP posts:
aperolspritzbasicbitch · 28/03/2024 19:51

I would be uneasy at the idea of my child being on the lower floor; for the reason you mentioned.

Original poster
Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 19:52

HelloMiss · 28/03/2024 19:49

You should ensure there is a working carbon monoxide detector

Is the room near a gas boiler?

Yes it is quite close to the downstairs loo where the boiler is but there is a carbon monoxide detector in there we check regularly. It is at the front of the house though so I can see it may be creepy..

OP posts:
Topofthemountain · 28/03/2024 19:53

We moved to our current house when DD1 had just turned 12, she has the room downstairs. 6 years on and it is absolutely fine.

Original poster
Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 19:54

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 28/03/2024 19:51

I would be uneasy at the idea of my child being on the lower floor; for the reason you mentioned.

Yeah, it really does play on my mind. Maybe we just need to wait a while till he's older.

OP posts:
Topofthemountain · 28/03/2024 19:54

My youngest sleeps in the same room as the boiler cupboard, we have a co2 detector in her room.

Original poster
Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 19:55

Thank you @Topofthemountain That's good to know

OP posts:
Maryamlouise · 28/03/2024 19:57

We live in a bungalow so all on the ground floor. Wouldn't really want young kids on a different floor but teenager seems fine to me.

Mama2many73 · 28/03/2024 19:57

I do get why you have concerns, I'm the same. When I watch house programmes and the parents have the attic 'suite' I always think 'so you're kids are below you?' Weird!

I do think your ds is coming to an age where he'll be ok but as a pp mentioned , trial it first, make sure he's comfortable before you make permanent changes.

mumofteenss · 28/03/2024 19:59

My eldest had a room downstairs from the age of 14, it worked fine. It was what should have been the living room, i then used the kitchen diner, dining room areas as our living room. Needs must at the time as we didnt have the bedrooms, and he could no longer share with his younger brother, he was diagnosed autistic and needed his own safe space at that time.

TotteringByRosie · 28/03/2024 20:00

My son sleeps in the downstairs bedroom, through his own choice, he had an upstairs bedroom but just prefers being downstairs.

In my childhood home my sister had a downstairs bedroom so it's completely normal to me.

Original poster
Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 20:00

@Maryamlouise I hadn't thought of that actually, we were originally looking at a bungalow when we moved and it didn't bother me at all, I think maybe the fact it's a different floor is bothering me too for some reason? My youngest was very keen on having it as her room but we said a definite no to that, if nothing else, the lounge is opposite it and what we watch may scare her. Ds goes to bed the same time as me now though so we wouldn't disturb him

OP posts:
BuffaloCauliflower · 28/03/2024 20:03

My room with my sister was split when I was a teen and I got a half without a window, honestly it was no issue at all. Quite liked it actually, suited my teenage lie-ins well 😂

coldcallerbaiter · 28/03/2024 20:04

My 5th bedroom is downstairs it was the spare but the oldest wanted it.

Original poster
Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 20:04

I'm just torn because it definitely makes me uneasy but I so want to give my daughter her own room too, her sister is messy and she'd just love to have everything set out just so. I chose to share as a child even though we had space so it wasn't top priority when we moved

OP posts:
Blueeyes13 · 28/03/2024 20:05

We've just converted our garage and our DS14 will be moving into that room very soon. There are already several other houses that have garage conversions and use the rooms for children. It doesn't seem to be a problem. I'm not particularly worried about break ins though or being on a different floor. Our DC often sleep downstairs just for fun anyway.

Original poster
Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 20:07

@BuffaloCauliflower that's interesting, did you have to go through one room to get to the other?

OP posts:
CrappySack · 28/03/2024 20:07

Can he try sleeping in the room to see how he gets on?

Original poster
Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 20:08

@Blueeyes13 funny you should say that, he's currently having friends over to sleep and they are in the lounge and that doesn't bother me either! It's odd

OP posts:
ilovebagpuss · 28/03/2024 20:08

My friend did this for her DD 14.
It works fine she has a nice big room to herself. Has friends over but it doesn't affect the lounge noise wise. She doesn't mind being downstairs. The house is as secure as it's always been.

Afolnerd · 28/03/2024 20:09

Our dd has a downstairs bedroom. She was 15 when we moved her and it was a necessity as she can’t manage stairs well due to problem's with her knees.
I don’t particularly like it partly for noise issues in the evening and partly because she is at the front of the house so she has to close curtains to get dressed etc.

Original poster
Alreadyinmypjs · 28/03/2024 20:10

@CrappySack I think that's what we will try thank you. He's not worried about the idea at all though, it's me! Stupid really as he's bigger than me now too but I can't help it!

OP posts:
MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 28/03/2024 20:12

I'd be thinking about it the other way as he gets a bit older, sneaking out or friends in etc (caveat I work in the justice system it skews my view of humanity). That could be easily solved with an alarm system with door contacts that he doesn't know the code to and/or a ring type doorbell