My younger sister (22) and I live with my mum.
Sister can be unbelievably rude, unreasonable and aggressive so we don't have much to do with each right now to keep the peace. However, she keeps misplacing her front door keys!
I always let her in, but she is so rude I don't feel inclined to keep doing it. This is what happened last night:
Bell rings, I open door
Sister stomps past me and slams her bedroom door
Me, quietly: Are you going to say thank you?
Sister, screaming: OMG I just got home. FUCK OFF!!!
AIBU to go on strike and stop letting her in? That will just get me in massive trouble though. Putting a key under a plant pot or welcome mat doesn't work as that goes missing in a day or so as well. Mum won't do anything. FWIW yes I suspect she's neurodiverse but that's no excuse for the really personal insults and aggression. She doesn't reflect/apologise later.
AIBU?
To stop opening door for sister
thegroundskeeper · 14/03/2024 09:54
WatchandWaitorNot · 14/03/2024 09:58
I kind of think YANBU but that level of unprovoked rudeness is off the scale for someone that age, so I doubt it would even change her behaviour as it must be some form of mental health issue. Stop doing it if you want to avoid being shouted at, but don’t think of it as a way to change things.
Have you and your Mum talked to her or each other about getting her help?
Is she similarly rude to your Mum?
WatchandWaitorNot · 14/03/2024 09:58
I kind of think YANBU but that level of unprovoked rudeness is off the scale for someone that age, so I doubt it would even change her behaviour as it must be some form of mental health issue. Stop doing it if you want to avoid being shouted at, but don’t think of it as a way to change things.
Have you and your Mum talked to her or each other about getting her help?
Is she similarly rude to your Mum?
ZipZapZoom · 14/03/2024 09:56
Honestly I'd work on moving out to be honest. I'm sure this is just the tip of the ice burg in her behavior and removing yourself from the situation is the best strategy to apply here. Until then yes if you're home let her in but I'd be moving out asap.
Picklestop · 14/03/2024 10:13
I really couldn’t leave my 22 year old sister standing outside, what if she wanders off and something happens. But I suspect she has her key and is just too lazy to get it out of her bag. I would maybe take my time getting to the door.
moonfacer · 14/03/2024 10:09
Why should OP move out?
If anyone should move out it’s the twat sister.
And no, OP doesn’t need to keep letting her in.
ZipZapZoom · 14/03/2024 09:56
Honestly I'd work on moving out to be honest. I'm sure this is just the tip of the ice burg in her behavior and removing yourself from the situation is the best strategy to apply here. Until then yes if you're home let her in but I'd be moving out asap.
ZipZapZoom · 14/03/2024 10:14
She doesn't have to move out but it sounds like the most logical way to resolve the issue, especially if her mum refuses to acknowledge that the sister is doing anything wrong.
Equally the OP doesn't have to continue to let her in but the alternative would probably lead to her sister reacting in an even more volatile manner.
Let's be honest the sister is never likely to move out she's got it made and there's no incentive to move hence why I suggested the OP moving to remove herself from this shit show of a situation.
moonfacer · 14/03/2024 10:09
Why should OP move out?
If anyone should move out it’s the twat sister.
And no, OP doesn’t need to keep letting her in.
ZipZapZoom · 14/03/2024 09:56
Honestly I'd work on moving out to be honest. I'm sure this is just the tip of the ice burg in her behavior and removing yourself from the situation is the best strategy to apply here. Until then yes if you're home let her in but I'd be moving out asap.
determinedtomakethiswork · 14/03/2024 10:18
You can't just leave her outside! If you think she has her keys with her and can't be bothered getting them out then I would just leave the door. If I thought she'd left the keys at home then I'd have to let her in.
moonfacer · 14/03/2024 10:17
The most logical thing would be for Op to ignore the twat.
ZipZapZoom · 14/03/2024 10:14
She doesn't have to move out but it sounds like the most logical way to resolve the issue, especially if her mum refuses to acknowledge that the sister is doing anything wrong.
Equally the OP doesn't have to continue to let her in but the alternative would probably lead to her sister reacting in an even more volatile manner.
Let's be honest the sister is never likely to move out she's got it made and there's no incentive to move hence why I suggested the OP moving to remove herself from this shit show of a situation.
moonfacer · 14/03/2024 10:09
Why should OP move out?
If anyone should move out it’s the twat sister.
And no, OP doesn’t need to keep letting her in.
ZipZapZoom · 14/03/2024 09:56
Honestly I'd work on moving out to be honest. I'm sure this is just the tip of the ice burg in her behavior and removing yourself from the situation is the best strategy to apply here. Until then yes if you're home let her in but I'd be moving out asap.
moonfacer · 14/03/2024 10:13
It’s not OP’s 22yo. And she’s 22 not 2!
Picklestop · 14/03/2024 10:13
I really couldn’t leave my 22 year old sister standing outside, what if she wanders off and something happens. But I suspect she has her key and is just too lazy to get it out of her bag. I would maybe take my time getting to the door.
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Picklestop · 14/03/2024 10:27
OP quite clearly says it is her 22 year old sister, as have I.
Nothing happens to 22 year olds on your planet then? How long would you leave her outside? All night? In winter? And you think it doesn’t matter because she is not 2. Ok.
moonfacer · 14/03/2024 10:13
It’s not OP’s 22yo. And she’s 22 not 2!
Picklestop · 14/03/2024 10:13
I really couldn’t leave my 22 year old sister standing outside, what if she wanders off and something happens. But I suspect she has her key and is just too lazy to get it out of her bag. I would maybe take my time getting to the door.
ZipZapZoom · 14/03/2024 10:26
It's easy for us to say ignore her but unfortunately if they are living in the same house it's going to be practically impossible for the OP to ignore her and her inevitable ranting outbursts.
moonfacer · 14/03/2024 10:17
The most logical thing would be for Op to ignore the twat.
ZipZapZoom · 14/03/2024 10:14
She doesn't have to move out but it sounds like the most logical way to resolve the issue, especially if her mum refuses to acknowledge that the sister is doing anything wrong.
Equally the OP doesn't have to continue to let her in but the alternative would probably lead to her sister reacting in an even more volatile manner.
Let's be honest the sister is never likely to move out she's got it made and there's no incentive to move hence why I suggested the OP moving to remove herself from this shit show of a situation.
moonfacer · 14/03/2024 10:09
Why should OP move out?
If anyone should move out it’s the twat sister.
And no, OP doesn’t need to keep letting her in.
ZipZapZoom · 14/03/2024 09:56
Honestly I'd work on moving out to be honest. I'm sure this is just the tip of the ice burg in her behavior and removing yourself from the situation is the best strategy to apply here. Until then yes if you're home let her in but I'd be moving out asap.
moonfacer · 14/03/2024 10:31
Of course OP can ignore her. Once the twat gets no response she will soon get bored.
ZipZapZoom · 14/03/2024 10:26
It's easy for us to say ignore her but unfortunately if they are living in the same house it's going to be practically impossible for the OP to ignore her and her inevitable ranting outbursts.
moonfacer · 14/03/2024 10:17
The most logical thing would be for Op to ignore the twat.
ZipZapZoom · 14/03/2024 10:14
She doesn't have to move out but it sounds like the most logical way to resolve the issue, especially if her mum refuses to acknowledge that the sister is doing anything wrong.
Equally the OP doesn't have to continue to let her in but the alternative would probably lead to her sister reacting in an even more volatile manner.
Let's be honest the sister is never likely to move out she's got it made and there's no incentive to move hence why I suggested the OP moving to remove herself from this shit show of a situation.
moonfacer · 14/03/2024 10:09
Why should OP move out?
If anyone should move out it’s the twat sister.
And no, OP doesn’t need to keep letting her in.
ZipZapZoom · 14/03/2024 09:56
Honestly I'd work on moving out to be honest. I'm sure this is just the tip of the ice burg in her behavior and removing yourself from the situation is the best strategy to apply here. Until then yes if you're home let her in but I'd be moving out asap.
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