Dd1 is 12, year 8. Every morning for school she straightens her hair and puts on layers of mascara as well as some concealer. She's almost obsessive with her appearance and it's worrying me. For context her friends do similar. They're in the "cool" group - or so they think are! We've talked about not being a sheep, being yourself etc etc. She's my first so I don't know if I'm responding to this properly. She's in a mixed independent school whereas I went to an all girls so I just didn't care.
Aibu? Is this just "normal"?
AIBU?
To think my kid shouldn't be concerned by her looks
34and3 · 13/10/2022 07:51
whumpthereitis · 16/10/2022 20:47
Why not both 🤷🏻♀️
putting on concealer doesn’t deplete brain cells, and it doesn’t render someone incapable of taking pride in their intelligence and/or achievements.
that in itself if a harmful trope for women imo. If you’re pretty or care about your appearance then you must be thick, only the women that eschew make-up or regard for their appearance can be taken seriously.
NeelyOHara1 · 16/10/2022 20:08
We are still our biology first and foremost, it seems, with girls hardwired to prioritise showing off their looks and boys to showing off their abilities and accomplishments..
34and3 · 13/10/2022 07:51
Dd1 is 12, year 8. Every morning for school she straightens her hair and puts on layers of mascara as well as some concealer. She's almost obsessive with her appearance and it's worrying me. For context her friends do similar. They're in the "cool" group - or so they think are! We've talked about not being a sheep, being yourself etc etc. She's my first so I don't know if I'm responding to this properly. She's in a mixed independent school whereas I went to an all girls so I just didn't care.
Aibu? Is this just "normal"?
Greenshake · 16/10/2022 20:36
@OoooohMatron it was straight to the office for blue paper and water to be administered for us!
Jostly · 13/10/2022 08:18
Hah, I just had this convo with my Y8, 12 year old, this morning.
Kiddo was about to leave house without even brushing hair (this happens Every Single Day, in fact I have to stand at the front door with the brush and brush it for them (!) before they leave. Else no hair brushing would happen. Tie was askew, shirt was hanging out, a few toast crumbs on face. Thank god for relatively smart blazer.
I commented that, at their age, I was primping and beautifying, and that I supposed most girls do today.
Yes, my kid is a boy. And so it begins for our girls. Not fair, is it.
Reallyreallyborednow · 17/10/2022 00:06
I don’t know why we send the message to girls that make up is a terrible thing to use. Plenty of women, myself included, use make up all the time. Nothing wrong with wanting to look nice
no there isn’t. But again the implication is that make up is needed to look nice. It isn’t.
however the narrative is always “I look tired/Ill without makeup” or that women are somehow better with it. Make up and “looking nice” are very much linked.
there’s nothing wrong with using make up. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look nice. But making the statement that you use make up because there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look nice sends the message that make up is necessary to look nice.
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