Bought bedding for myself but not for LO

[Crumpledpancake]

Ok this is trivial but feels like a big thing to me.

I was just over at my parents' house for a quick visit (dropping some groceries off as they don't have a car). Had my 5yo DD with me. While I was in Asda I saw some brushed cotton bedding that is red and looks so Christmassy and cheerful. It wasn't expensive and I liked it so after some thought I decided to buy it. Then looked at some brushed cotton bedding for my DD but then remembered she needs double bedding for her bed. I couldn't buy both as I couldn't afford it (got a LOT of outgoings at the moment).

Anyway, I was at my parents house and I mentioned that I want to get some soft brushed cotton bedding for DD but can't afford it at the moment. (Why I said this I do not know!)

Then as we were leaving I opened the car boot to get something out and there was my bedding set for all to see! So they saw that I'd bought for myself and not DD. They're going to think I'm tight and mean.

I have a difficult relationship with them and they love any opportunity to call me for meanness. I am not mean though I spend most of my money on my DD and hardly ever on myself. She has a lovely winter coat that cost 3 x what my coat cost (just as an example). But I drive home fretting and feeling horrible. I want to text my dad to explain why I had bedding for myself but I feel this would just make things worse.

What would you do?

[Bluntness100]

Do your parents actually say something? It reads like they didn’t. Is the issue you were telling them you couldn’t afford bedding for your child then they saw you could afford it for you? Why did you tell them you couldn’t afford bedding for your child?

[user1471538283]

I was terrible for this. However you need treats as well. Your DD is not going without for you to have is she? There you go then.

[MzHz]

I want to text my dad to explain why I had bedding for myself but I feel this would just make things worse.

You owe them nothing.
You actually “owe” your 5yo dd nothing either.

You will never be placed on anyone’s list of priorities if you don’t put yourself on your own list of priorities

Your dd could not give a crap about her bedding, but she’ll like yours and that’s what matters

If you’re old enough to have a relationship/live independently/have sex/have a child, you DON’T have to explain or justify yourself to your parents

They way they make you feel, is the way they will make your dd feel, and I’d imagine that this will start pretty imminently because it’ll get at you via her. That’s what happened to me and my ds, I cut ties. Life is better with our them

[Outfoxedbyrabbits]

Well, I certainly wouldn't be dropping shopping round for people who repeatedly called me mean.

Genuine question, OP - why do you do that!?

[billy1966]

@Cocomarine

What would I do?
Forget out the bedding and work out why I had such a fucked up relationship with my parents 🤷🏻‍♀️

This.

Step away from people who clearly cause you so much anxiety and are so unkind to you.