Would you have accepted this offer, or did we embarrass her?

[WestendVBroadway]

I was in a discount store earlier. There was a lady being served, 1 lady behind her in queue, then me. None of us knew each other. First lady was buying an item that cost less that £1.00. She offered a £10 note. The cashier asked if customer had anything smaller as there was not sufficient change in the till. The customer said she had nothing smaller, and apparently either had no card to use, or choose not to for such a small amount. I said that she could just put it with my stuff and I would happily pay for it. The lady in front of me also offered to pay for it to help her out. The customer said she couldn't accept the kind offer. I suggested she just pay it forward, and other customer said to think of it as a Christmas gift. The original customer quickly disappeared before myself of other lady could pay for it. So , AIBU to think it was just a goodwill thing to do? Would you have accepted it, or was it embarrassing? Just to add there were no other customers around, so we didn't make her look like a charity case.

[Lucinda7]

It's only the same as giving someone car parking change if they haven't got any. I think it's kind and not embarrassing.

[tillytoodles1]

I was in the card shop the day before Mother's
Day and a young lad about 14 had bought a card, a Teddy and a mug. He was about 50p short and was going to put something back, but he looked so embarrassed that I told the check out girl I'd pay the difference. I know it was only 50p, but he had a handful of coins and had obviously been saving up.

[StillWeRise]

maybe it was a cultural thing, some cultures have very different ideas about gifts and the debt they impose
so, she might have felt unable to accept knowing she couldn't repay?

[Thetrainisinthestation]

Not embarrassing at all , but I know I get really awkward at kind gestures that I find hard to accept from anyone and may have refused offer in similar situation.

If if one of my parents have tried to give me £10 I refuse

[ImInStealthMode]

A lovely gesture to offer OP, I'd have done the same.

[Youdoyoutoday]

I'm all for the pay it forward mentality, kindness goes a long way. I have also done the "oh excuse me you've dropped a tenner" in a supermarket before when I've overheard a conversation that just broke my heart.

[ChampagneLassie]

I was behind a lady with a newborn in coop buying a, handful of things cost about £9 who then realised she didn't have her purse and burst into tears. I immediately offered to pay and she was so grateful. And I assumed we both felt warm and fuzzy. I dont know why anyone would feel embarrassed by kindness? Equally I've offered to pay for lunch and dinner for someone I thought it was clear I was entertaining (for work purposes) and had them insist on paying and that's felt awkward/werid. But there are potentially more levels to that (people not wanting to feel "bought")

[mam0918]

I agree she might have been getting change, most times I use cash its because I need change for something that doesn't accept cards. I usually get £10 from a cash point and then buy a 50p item to get the change for the bus etc...

The only time I would accept it is if I was genuinely stuck.

I remember being 14 and me and my friend (who were out for the first time in town an hour away from home) were £1 short of the bus fair home, the last bus of the night and the driver wouldn't let us on when a random man lent over put £1 down and just said 'get on the bus girls' and that meant a lot because we were panicking but in general for a £1 non urgent item when I have a £10 on me I wouldn't accept it.

[blameless]

In the midst of the first lockdown, I was struggling with guilty feelings about personally doing well while so many people were suffering horribly.
Giving to charity, made me feel less bad and I found myself in the supermarket behind a woman who had half a dozen items on the conveyor but had no purse and couldn't get her phone to make the payment. I told the cashier to add the charge to my bill and declined the woman's offer to repay me.
She left the supermarket happily - then I found out that the small packages were upmarket pet food, £23 pounds worth.
As they say, no good turn goes unpunished - though it helped my mental health and I consider it money well-spent.

[godmum56]

I would have both offered and accepted.

[Q123R]

I've been on both sides and yes, felt warm and fuzzy each time. I was

[Q123R]

(Whoops!) In Poundland when the woman in front was in the exact same predicament as yours. I added her shopping to mine and paid for it all. I also lent £20 to an old colleague of DP's who we bumped into in the supermarket. I knew I'd get that back, but tbh I was so relieved to see he was still alive I wouldn't have been bothered if he hadn't.

On the other hand I fell in the street last year and was picked up by a stranger. I was in a hurry to meet a friend so refused to go to the pharmacy for plasters so she did just that and brought supplies to the cafe I'd gone to. Wouldn't take money. I was, and am still, beyond grateful.

[CinnamonJellyBeans]

It's less than a quid.

Hardly a Christmas miracle for the lucky recipient of your largesse .

Personally I'd be embarrassed to tell her "pay it forward" like you've given her a kidney.

[HaaaaaveyoumetTed]

I'd have offered and accepted.

I've previously offered similar, if someone offered to help me in my time of need I would happily accept.

[ShirleyPhallus]

@TurnUpTurnip

I wouldn’t have accepted, there was a recent thread like this where someone let a stranger pay for her shopping (£20) and I got jumped on for saying I would have declined 😐

That’s not true. That thread said that someone had given her a fiver because her shopping was £3 more than she had on her.

[TurnUpTurnip]

Erm yes it is true, it’s a different thread to the one you mentioned 🙄 I didn’t even see that one

[ShirleyPhallus]

@TurnUpTurnip

Erm yes it is true, it’s a different thread to the one you mentioned 🙄 I didn’t even see that one

You commented on this one?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4370743-There-are-kind-people-in-the-world

[TurnUpTurnip]

Yes that’s the one, doesn’t matter the amount either way I wouldn’t have accepted any amount off a stranger

[ShirleyPhallus]

@TurnUpTurnip

Yes that’s the one, doesn’t matter the amount either way I wouldn’t have accepted any amount off a stranger

Right. But £20 is very different from £3.

[TurnUpTurnip]

She accepted £5 but tbh I wouldn’t accept £1 or £5 and people on here have paid for strangers shopping for £20 for some cat food, cheeky to accept that kind of money off people.

[Chikapu]

@blameless

In the midst of the first lockdown, I was struggling with guilty feelings about personally doing well while so many people were suffering horribly.
Giving to charity, made me feel less bad and I found myself in the supermarket behind a woman who had half a dozen items on the conveyor but had no purse and couldn't get her phone to make the payment. I told the cashier to add the charge to my bill and declined the woman's offer to repay me.
She left the supermarket happily - then I found out that the small packages were upmarket pet food, £23 pounds worth.
As they say, no good turn goes unpunished - though it helped my mental health and I consider it money well-spent.

How do you consider it money well spent when you obviously resent what her purchases were?

[EmeraldShamrock]

I'd think it was a good gesture.

[TatianaBis]

I’d have offered, in fact I have done in the past; but I wouldn’t have accepted it.

[santasmuma]

I'm autistic and I wouldn't have processed the shop not being able to give change by the time 2 people started offering to pay so I would decline because it would cause too much confusion in my head. I would then leave the shop and later think 'what a tit I should have just let them do it'

[WhenSepEnds]

I think that's kind, I would have accepted and not been embarrassed. I think it was a nice thing to do