crying woman dilemma

[hullabaloo68]

This morning I opened the door to a distraught woman. After I'd managed to calm her down a bit it seems her Husband has told her their marriage is over because he is in love with me. This was a bit of a surprise because I don't actually know this man. She wants me to talk to him and tell him I'm not interested. What would you do it feels he's a bit stalkerish and I definitely don't want to be giving him any encouragement by speaking to him. I do really feel for his poor wife

[mam0918]

@Sparklesocks - a random google of my name + the word 'address' finds nothing but its easy to find with the correct website, I usually use 192.com (which brought up mine instantly - if its a common name then you might get a few option but if you know the 'area' its easy to narrow down).

I have used it to track down long lost relative before, its really quite effective.

[LizzieW1969]

I think it’s a scam, too.

[misskick]

I remember reading a thread very similar to this a few weeks back!

[GulliBelle]

Jolean, is that you?

[Sparklesocks]

[quote BadNomad]@Sparklesocks

And her address?

Google your own name and town. You'll be surprised at what you can find online.[/quote]
Yes I have googled myself but I’ve never found anything that lists my full address including full post code and house number

[WarmSausageTea]

@StuffinThePuffin slight detail, but we have a post box (as do our NDNs), I’d rather we didn’t, mainly because when it rains heavily, we tend to end up with soggy post. I’m also not keen from a security point of view, but it’s relatively low risk, and either way, we’re stuck with it.

[randomlyLostInWales]

I think scam.

I had an odd encounter with a very young looking teen boy in last house - I don't remember what he said but we had an outter porch put in with clear door and I'd only opened house door and I rememeber him indicating he wanted out door unlocked. I had baby in my arms and young kids behind me and declined.

There was no-one near him as could see clearly out all way down drive.

To get to back you had to go next door alley and neigbour was always in and had windows overlooking and over fence or over roof of our one story garage - which again neigbour opposite would likely have seen. There were two locked doors - first garage then in back of house via garage.

So I just though odd - then read in local paper is was a scan to gain entry via back of house - did think it odd they tried our house though as there were others with more accessible layouts.

[IntermittentParps]

Either it’s a scam to distract you at the front door while someone breaks in at the back door, assuming that didn’t happen then either it’s true and her husband is a stalker/mentally ill or she is.
I think one of these too.

OP, what did the police actually say?

[knittingaddict]

Likewise

It's still here though ImbarbaraB

[mam0918]

Maybe he said a name and shes 'teminatoring' it and going through every person with that name she can find.

How common is your name?

Obviously if its Artemis Nannette Villin its unlikely she got the wrong person (although she could likely find you easily) but if you are Rachel Louise Jones its a possibility that she could just have looked up Rachel Jones on facebook or Google search and returned dozens of names and addresses from there and you are just someone with that name whose fairly local so she assumed you where the 'one'.

[SweetGrapes]

I had this once - only it was my teachers wife. I was still at school (A levels) so maybe 17 - and he was professor in local Uni who taught sometimes in my school.
Never spoke to the bloke out of class either
Pervy old man

[ImbarbaraB]

@knittingaddict

.

Likewise

[ClawedButler]

Good lord, I don't know what I'd do in that situation. Must have made you feel weird all day. I think you've done everything sensible that you could have done; even if what she says is true, it's still not your problem.

[TheRebelle]

Either it’s a scam to distract you at the front door while someone breaks in at the back door, assuming that didn’t happen then either it’s true and her husband is a stalker/mentally ill or she is.

It reminds me of a conversation I once overheard at a train station, a woman struck up a conversation with another woman who appeared to be a stranger to her, she sounded very distressed and was telling her how she’d met a man in a pub the evening before and gone home with him and he’d told her he loved her and he’d come and see her again, and asking if the woman thought he really loved her and would her really come and see her again and she repeated the whole thing several times, loudly between sobs.

[GreyhoundG1rl]

Please can we stop suggesting that any odd / irrational / unexplained behaviour must be a sign of mental illness ?
What spin would you put on odd or irrational behaviour, then?

[PartyNeeded]

[quote TatianaBis]@notanothertakeaway

I beg your pardon?

It’s a perfectly legitimate observation in the circumstances.

There are various options and mental illness of either the lady herself or partner are key.

It may equally be a scam.[/quote]
I agree. It's perfectly OK to suggest ill health of any type is a reason for unusual behaviour. No slur is intended although the reader may interpret it differently.

E.g. collapsed assumed drunk could be diabetic coma. It's sensible to consider alternatives

[TatianaBis]

@notanothertakeaway

I beg your pardon?

It’s a perfectly legitimate observation in the circumstances.

There are various options and mental illness of either the lady herself or partner are key.

It may equally be a scam.

[notanothertakeaway]

@TatianaBis

I would assume she’s mentally ill as she didn’t attempt to extort money.

She may not even have a partner.

@TatianaBis

Please can we stop suggesting that any odd / irrational / unexplained behaviour must be a sign of mental illness ?

[WildfirePonie]

Sounds like she was trying to cause a distraction..
Glad you didn't let her in.

[MsTSwift]

I had this in my twenties - there was this partner at work who got engaged and we had to go for drinks to celebrate. He said very seriously that if I wanted to go out with him he would end the engagement! I nearly spat out my drink! Poor fiancée.

[StuffinThePuffin]

That's such a surprise to me! I'm originally from the uk and I never knew anyone who had a mailbox outside their house. I only encountered them once I left.

You live and learn

[LunaNorth]

@StuffinThePuffin

From her mail in the mailbox possibly

If OP is in the UK then her post will go through the slot in the front door, straight into her home. So you wouldn't have any joy with this idea, unless the person you're trying to scam has a window you can peer through to see the post on the floor.

I live in the UK and I used to have a mailbox.

[LunaNorth]

A lot of troll-hunters on this thread.

Easy for the wife to find out the OP’s name. She works in a cafe! If the husband told the wife he was in love with the woman from Jim’s Cafe, all the woman has to do is turn up a few times and use her ears. Or ask someone.

[Thatswatshesaid]

My friend had someone break into her house and leave her a note. He was ‘in love’ with her. Knew where she lived, her name etc. She didn’t recognise him at all but he told police they were in a relationship. She hadn’t noticed being followed or anything.
Another friend had some one show up on the door step and accuse her of having an affair with her husband. She’d never heard of him. This one didn’t know names so probably just a wrong door. But these things do happen.

[TatianaBis]

I would assume she’s mentally ill as she didn’t attempt to extort money.

She may not even have a partner.