Bitchy comment? Or am I being sensitive?

[NC267891]

So this is probably going to sound ridiculous but it's been a long day and I'm likely being a tad sensitive. My friend is buying a flat (she's 30). She always has Christmas day at mine as she's not very close with her family. Today, she said that she'd seen a place and she's very excited about it (as am I as it looks lovely) and she said "it has a dining room, how nice will it be for us to have Christmas dinner in a dining room rather than on the sofa?". I do having a dining table in the kitchen but we prefer to have Christmas dinner in the living room where it's more relaxed. As I'm cooking dinner, paying for it, serving it and washing up, I've really just done what I like. I'm feeling a bit miffed by the comment. Am I being unreasonable?

[Londoncatshed]

Just sounds tactless. We’ve all done it. If she is generally a good friend, I would just ignore it. If it’s in a long line of similar, maybe confront her.

[StoneofDestiny]

Christmas dinner is really rich with lots of food, I cannot imagine choosing to eat it from a plate on my lap if there is a table available

[RockingMyFiftiesNot]

Also, eating off your lap really isn't that awful - you should try it sometimes, you'll feel like a rebel

I know some people have no choice but to eat off their lap, so I am not knocking those people at all.

But OP said they've got a table, Christmas dinner is really rich with lots of food, I cannot imagine choosing to eat it from a plate on my lap if there is a table available. I have eaten meals off my lap, and my preference for anything other than those that can be eaten with one hand would be at the table

I'll say again, if I spent Christmas with someone who didn't have a table, it wouldn't bother me. To spend it with someone who had a table they couldn't be bothered to clear/set then it would be a no thanks

[NotJustAnyOldDog]

She just sounds excited to have you over hers this year to me. Think how tidy your kitchen will be!

[OldCow1]

You’re not being unreasonable at all, but let it go, quickly xxx

[custardbear]

I'm with the shes a bit over excited camp, it will be nice that shall cook for you this year and do it her way - every way to have Christmas is the right way, it's just when we host we do it our own right way 😉

[NC267891]

Oh she does a lot for me in other ways! It's never been a big deal having her here for Christmas, I've always been a "anyone's welcome" type person. I guess it just made me feel like it wasn't good enough but that's my own issue, not hers! Agree it was a clumsy comment where she's understandably excited. Also, eating off your lap really isn't that awful - you should try it sometimes, you'll feel like a rebel 😉.

[FilthyforFirth]

Good lord, Christmas dinner on your lap?! Sacrilege!!

That aside I am sure she is just excited to host.

[RockingMyFiftiesNot]

I'd be excited about having my Christmas dinner at a table and not on the sofa to be honest, can't imagine anything worse. But I'm sure she didn't mean to be unkind.

[mainsfed]

I'd let it go this time but it would make me assess how much i do for her and whether she reciprocates.

Does she not bring any drink/dessert/crackers?

[Fluffinell]

She’s probably just used to Christmas round a table (me too). But she’s obviously not complained to you all these years she has been joining you your way (quite right it is your house) but now uk she can do it her way for the first time in years and she’s wanting you to be there too. I think it’s sweet.

[LadyLolaRuben]

Ahh shes looking forward to sharing her Christmas with you in her new home. Its a lovely comment

[24GinDrinkingOnceTheKidsInBed]

Trying to have an unbiased opinion but I personally cannot stand eating on my lap, or in the living room on the sofa. We always sit to the table here unless we’ve ordered pizza which is rare.

However, I don’t think she meant for it to be nasty. I think she’s just excited to be moving, excited to be able to invite you all round for dinner, and to be fair any traditional Christmas dinner you see is set on a table so I think the ‘stereotype’ of that plays a part, as in she might assume you’d like to have the traditional table set dinner too as you’ll finally be able to be the one relaxing a bit more and not cooking!

[EmeraldShamrock]

Her wording was clumsy but I suspect she meant well. I'd be taking back too.

[MegaBeach]

I think it was just a clumsy comment with the intent of being excited to be able to host you in return for your generosity :D you both sound like nice people :D

[SelkieFly]

I think she's just excited planning a christmas day and she wants to host you! So her excitement is to host you. I would feel happy listening to this. She wants to do things a bit differently! Nothing wrong with that.

[NewMinouMinou]

She is totally looking forward to hosting you!

[as141]

@Aprilshowersandhail

Sounds like she is exited about being able to return the gesture..
Accept it with good heart!

I read it like this too.

[Quaagars]

[quote NC267891]@Quaagars you got excited thinking about it didn't you haha. Prosecco, full roast, Christmas films and a nap is life. My favourite day of the year![/quote]
I did!!
My absolute favourite time of the year too, can you tell

[NC267891]

@AliceMcK

See *@NC267891* it’s the one day a year I do actually sit at the table, the rest of the year I’m happiest sitting in front of the tv and demanding my DH bring me wine 😂

Hahaha in fairness my table is mostly used for looking after clothes and by all accounts batteries & plasters.

[IveNameChangedAgain2020]

It's the sort of idiot thing I would say and not mean it at all in the way that you've taken it. I WOULD mean, "omg I can't wait to host and treat you now"!

Honestly, I'm positive your friend loves you and just is excited to look after you for a change.

[FastFood]

I must say, as much as I'd love to have a dinning room, I love a Christmas dinner on the sofa.
Did that several times, in our pyjamas, watching Home Alone.

I'm sure she's very grateful for all these Christmas dinners at yours OP!

[NC267891]

@Quaagars you got excited thinking about it didn't you haha. Prosecco, full roast, Christmas films and a nap is life. My favourite day of the year!

[AliceMcK]

See @NC267891 it’s the one day a year I do actually sit at the table, the rest of the year I’m happiest sitting in front of the tv and demanding my DH bring me wine 😂

[NC267891]

Oh thank you all so much for helping me realise I am indeed being sensitive! It was in a phone call so couldn't really reply as such plus she was gushing about the flat (it is lovely and I'm going to view it with her tomorrow so the gushing was understandable!). I just got off the phone thinking ahhh has she been like hating it all these years when I really love it.