To let my dog bark for an extra half hour even though the neighbour was already annoyed

[Candlestand]

I have 2 dogs, DH usually takes them to work so Mon-Fri they're never here during the day. Due to a bit of excess faffing yesterday morning he forgot them. Normally he puts them in the dog box in the car and sorts out DD and they all head off to nursery then work but somehow yesterday he just forgot he hadn't already put them in the car and I got a text from DH to tell me the dogs were still in the garden. Fine. I'm up in my office, WFH, the back door is open as it was such a nice day, they can mooch in and out as they please and we'll just walk them tonight instead.
I work for the local authority and we've had a nasty incident occur with a safeguarding issue for a child and I was part of back to back meetings so I never even went down for a cup of tea. I'm then in a meeting that I have been volunteered as minute taker for and there are over 20 people in this meeting and that's when my neighbour starts banging on my door. Initially I ignore him thinking it's a delivery and I can't leave this meeting but he is now practically pounding my door down so I race to the other room to open the window to ask them to go away whatever it is and he starts swearing that the dogs are barking and its really annoying. I shout down that I'm sorry but I'm in a meeting and I will sort them out as soon as I'm out of it. I can see he's furious and he storms off still swearing but the meeting is still going on without me and I have to be in it. I'm now vaguely aware that my younger dog is barking because it's been brought to my attention but honestly I just hadn't noticed before because it had been such a busy morning so I don't know how long they had been barking for. I didn't want to disrupt the meeting by asking for a break because there was a lot going on in it and we were, I hoped, almost finished but it turned out we were still going half an hour later before the meeting actually finished and because I'm now aware of it I can hear the dog still barking on and off for that time.
The thing is, we have a big garden and they don't come in when called straight away because it becomes a game to them so although me being out in the garden with them stopped the barking it takes me over 5 minutes to get them to come into the house (which I knew it would and why I didn't want to stop in the middle of a very large meeting to chase around my garden for ages). I appreciate it must have been annoying and I could see my neighbours over our fence so when I could go get them I apologised properly and tried to explain that I couldn't leave the meeting to come and get them and they were furious with me and said I was ruining their day. They are retired and are always in their garden. My dog was actually barking at their dog who was sat with them and my little dog could smell him, the older one wasn't actually barking. I tried to explain that he was just excited by their dog and if they had taken their dog in, he would have stopped barking but this just made them angrier (I meant it to try and break the tension as a discussion rather than a criticism of them, though clearly I misjudged how to say that) as they said why shouldn't their dog be allowed outside when he's being well behaved. I apologised again and just got back to chasing the dogs into the house and went back to work.

I appreciate it was annoying but I'm not sure they needed to be quite so angry. It was the middle of the day, this never normally happens at all because the dogs are not here during the week and at the weekend we're both able to be much more atuned to them if one of them starts barking at another dog or a squirrel or something and it has never been an issue before. We live rurally so other than the house on the other side of our neighbours theres no one else to be upset by the barking.
WIBU to put work before my neighbours enjoyment of their garden for half an hour?

[Candlestand]

@Ohpulltheotherone can you tell me where in any of my follow up posts I have 'not wanted to hear it'? I haven't challenged a single comment saying that my reaction to the neighbours was unreasonable. I've only challenged the posters saying that I shouldn't have pets and I'm an overall irresponsible dog owner based on this one incident. Many of the posts here would have me pack up my dogs and ship them off to the pound because I can't adequately care for them and that is what I am challenging.

[InFiveMins]

YABVU.

The endless excuses are exhausting too - it's extremely inconsiderate to allow your dogs to be barking even for 10 seconds let alone all day, it's as simple as that.

Look after your dogs and stop them barking.

[RachelRavenRoth]

You are very, very unreasonable. First, you did leave the meeting to speak to your neighbour, so that was not an excuse.

Second, and this is the main issue, your dogs are not trained. Barking for hours and no recall? No. Not acceptable.

What have you done to train them so far? Ad what are you going to do because whatever you've been doing hasn't worked.

[Crowsandshivers]

I don't have dogs, but I don't think you were being unreasonable. You told them you'd be out when you could. They didn't have to be so rude. It was half an hour of annoyance. In the scheme of things it isn't the end of the world. If you were my neighbour, I would have been annoyed but I wouldn't have shown it and would know it was a one off. Buy them a bottle of wine and move on. Very interested in what job your dh does if he can take dogs to work?!

[pilates]

I’m glad you have acknowledged you were unreasonable. I have a soon to be ex neighbour who allows their dog to bark, incredibly selfish.

[TedMullins]

I can see I’m in a minority but I think your neighbour was being a dick. This was a one off occurrence, yes it’s annoying but it’s hardly like the neighbour has to put up with this every day. Their dog shouldn’t have to be banished from its own garden, no, but they could have improved the situation by taking it inside or moving it away from the fence/wherever it was getting the attention of your dog. It sounds like your dog does need more training but as you haven’t subjected them to this every day their reaction sounds completely disproportionate. Don’t go round with gifts! Just leave it and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

[MyOtherProfile]

It might not be alone off though, and the neighbors don't know that. DH could forget the dogs any time, and OP is likely to be tied up in work meetings often.

[44PumpLane]

Fuck me..... Some of the posters on this thread must be bloody PERFECT in real life to be so sanctimonious!!

Clearly noone wants a barking dog next to them all day (or a screaming child or blasting music or a banging gate etc) but as is always trotted out round here, if you want to live in silence then buy somewhere without neighbours.

This was a one off, it was a mistake, and although the barking was annoying, your neighbour was rude to batter on your front door and then be so angry about it.

I understand why you got flummoxed and understand why your explanation of why the barking was happening ended up coming out wrong and sounding like you were passing some blame to them (about their dog) and realistically I think it's the only bit that requires any form of additional apology or explanation to your neighbour.

Shit happens, I forget things sometimes, I also sometimes attend back to back morning meetings that are important and mean I feel I can't leave if the door rings.

It's a lot quicker to stick your head out an open upstairs window than go downstairs and engage with the person at the front door.

Put it out of your mind OP, it was a one off!

[Palavah]

The fact that you've written a long post justifying your handling of the situation makes me think that your apology (after blaming their dog) wasn't well - delivered or received.

Have another go at apologising, without trying to qualify or deflect. Yes YABU.

[OverTheRainbow88]

@Macncheeseballs

Of course the details of meeting are important. You can’t miss notes being taken on a safeguarding meeting, those notes may be needed in court, word for word.

[MarmiteyCrumpets]

If your neighbour had been civil you would have been unreasonable.

Because he was such a dick, to the point of swearing at you, you were justified to be less accommodating of their comfort than I'm sure you ordinarily would have been (I'm assuming the barking is not a regular occurrence).

[dontdisturbmenow]

The typical 'yes, it must have been annoying but but but but....'

I have a dog who barks in the garden. The moment he starts, back in he goes. It's just not acceptable to disturb a whole neighborhood. Even though our next doir neighbour couldn't care less about their kids screaming to the top of their lungs for hours on. It doesn't give me the right to let my dog bark.

And yes, working from home too and I make sure he's in when I have a call because I don't want to chase him in the garden when indeed, he'd likely find it a game.

[RancidOldHag]

If the door had been answered with a normal knock, I doubt any 'battering' would have occurred.

You don't have to be particularly perfect to realise that noise nuisance is not on, nor to have dogs that come in when they're called.

[makingmammaries]

And you also know now that you need to reinforce thrashing, so they can be recalled from the garden.

Positive reinforcement 😜

[FrozenVag]

Oh come on OP

This is one of the reasons we train our dogs to come when called!

You were totally in the wrong and I would have been banging on your door too

[TimmyOnTheBrain]

It's never normally a problem and yesterday was the first day it has ever been an issue just because nobody had complained before doesn't mean it's never been an issue! Why do so many dog owners wait until somebody complains before they deal with barking? Do you honestly believe that a dog barking none stop is acceptable unless somebody complains? We have a neighbour in the street behind us (garden backs on to ours) and at 4.30pm every weekday the dog would start barking. This would go on intermittently all evening. I had enough one evening and went round to complain. The owners seemed astonished as it had "never been an issue" Wrong! Maybe I was the first to complain but it had always been an issue. I also noted the houses either side of theirs were up for sale.

Also, if you haven't got time in the day to walk your dogs get a dog walker. Waiting until night-time is not reasonable and is contributing to their hyper state.

[maddy68]

Yabu. He could also be working from home and in important meetings which you are disturbing and your lack of responsibility towards both your dogs and your neighbours is astonishing

Grow up, stop neglecting your animals. Train them properly or don't have them

[sunflowersandbuttercups]

I suspect by the time the neighbour knocked, the dogs would have been barking for a fair amount of time. Nobody goes to complain after five minutes - I suspect it was a good half an hour or more.

You then ignored the door and left them barking for at least another thirty minutes - tbh that would piss me off too. And I have a dog. No job is that important that you can't just say "hold on one moment, I have to sort X out" - and disappear for five minutes. I mean, you did manage to stop and deal with the neighbour eventually.

I think your mistake was letting the dogs roam in and out - once you knew they'd been left you should have shut them indoors, especially if they hadn't had a walk (as you imply in your OP) - my dog would go stir crazy in the garden with no walk first - he needs that exercise and stimulation before being left or he finds his own entertainment!

[JustLyra]

WIBU to put work before my neighbours enjoyment of their garden for half an hour?

It wasn’t just half and hour though, was it?!

It was however long your dog was barking for to be annoying.

Then at least half an hour for your meeting.

Then at least five minutes before you could get he dog in.

It was probably the best part of an hour, at least, of disturbing your neighbour. Then you compounded it by telling them they should have taken their dog indoors so your poorly trained dog could stay out.

[EveryDayIsADuvetDay]

not your choice to WFH - fair enough - but otherwise they'd have been shut outside barking all day?
If you can't be arsed to train and take care of pets, you shouldn't have any.
Probably best that you don't go round to apologise further - with your attitude it probably won't come across as gracious or heartfelt, and likely to wind them up further.

[doorornottodoor]

I think you’re getting a hard time here and I say that as someone who hates dogs barking.

I think if it’s a one off snd you were in a stressful meeting then it’s not the end of the world that the dogs barked. Be honest though, is it a one off? The neighbour’s reaction implies it’s not the first time!

I would pop around and apologise.

[Laburnam]

Lots of dogs where I live I can tell which dog it is by their bark! Tbf I think your initial reaction caused his reaction, pop a bottle of wine round and explain again. We’re all human.
Although he is unrealistic to think your little dog will never bark