Sacked because I can’t stop sleeping

[desperateexhausted]

Posting here for traffic and NC because I’m ashamed and furious with myself.

So I haven’t been sacked but if I don’t get a handle on the problem I’m heading that way. I have a job with regular daytime hours (no horrible shift patterns, no very early starts or late finishes) and I can’t manage it.

A week of regular 9-6 work absolutely exhausts me to the point that I have in the past fallen asleep in my clothes the moment I got home, not eaten any dinner and slept through til the next morning several times a week. Some weekends I sleep for almost the entire 48 hours, emerging only to use the toilet or microwave a ready meal. I’ve had countless sick days (probably over 20) in the last year because I’m sometimes so tired that I can’t see straight, I feel nauseous and dizzy when I sit up and the fatigue is so overwhelming I feel like I’m being crushed.

I also sometimes (often) sleep through the morning and simply don’t turn up at work. I have two alarm clocks going off right next to my head and they don’t wake me, particularly if I’ve had a night of insomnia (which I also, somewhat ironically) suffer from. This has been going on since my teenage years (I’m now in my 30s) and affected every single job I’ve had - I’ve had probations extended, been sacked from freelance contracts, and now I’m on very thin ice at work. I’m outwardly a professional and successful person but I can barely hold down a job because I cannot stop sleeping and I’m at my wits end. Chronic fatigue has been mentioned by a previous doctor but wasn’t followed up for reasons beyond my control.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to live like this. I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s ruining my life and will ruin it even more if I lose my job (which, frankly, I deserve to). I don’t want special treatment from work, I know how ridiculous it sounds as a grown adult to say ‘sorry I slept through my alarm) 20 odd times a year. I would chop off a limb for an official diagnosis but every blood test I’ve had for the obvious possible reasons comes back completely clear (and I’ve had a lot of blood tests for this over the years).

Has anyone experienced similar and found a solution? It’s getting to the point that I’m terrified every time I go to bed on a weeknight that I won’t wake up when I need to, which in turn keeps me awake worrying, which then disrupts my sleep even further. Any advice would be very, very gratefully received.

[GoWalkabout]

My friend has this one and it has made it very difficult to work

[ForwardRanger]

I am like this if I don't take supplements.

I take supplements for iron, magnesium, B12 and B complex.

I also drink max one coffee a day and nothing else containing caffeine, plus keep junk foods to a minimum as the body uses the good stuff to process them.

Perhaps start with Floradix which is a vg organic supplement you can find at the supermarket. You should notice an improvement within a week.

The thing with blood tests is that the "acceptable" level for iron can be quite low, doesn't mean you feel OK though.

The other thing is recommend evwn though it may sound impossible, is to get at least 30min exercise each day, even a fastish walk. It'll help your circulation, sleep quality, everything really.

[BrilliantBetty]

Give the GP one last try and then go private.

But this really isn't right. I hope you get to the bottom of it.

And if you're still not taken seriously by GP, put in a complaint, you should have been tested / referred.

[DenisetheMenace]

Kittytheteapot

I've only skimmed the responses here, so sorry if this has already been mentioned, but another condition you could be tested for is narcolepsy.“

That occurred to me too.
Please don’t be brushed off, this needs urgent investigation. Do you have a support network? Must be awful to live with.

If you aren’t able to see a different GP, I wouldn’t normally suggest it but in these unusual times, A&E departments are relatively quiet. If all else fails, I think I might well go out of sheer desperation. I’m pretty sure you will be given a fair hearing if you give them a précis of what you’ve said here and at least be pointed in the right direction. Don’t want to be alarmist but what you’re experiencing isn’t normal.

[AliceMcK]

@Heartofglass12345

I have sleep apnoea and I was like this. I used to drop my kids off at school and sleep most of the day before picking them up. I once got woken up by them ringing me at half 3 to see where I was!
I am overweight which doesn't help, but it definitely can affect anyone. They said even if I lost weight I would still have it.
I have a CPAP machine now and it's changed my life, I work full time and manage to do the school run lol

Omg this is me! I’ve had the school phone a few times. Luckily the school are lovely and know about my problems.

It’s so hard though as my DCs are constantly saying all I ever do is sleep 😢

[LunaTheCat]

Sleep issues are awful.
You need to manage as much as possible - I am wondering if you have sleep apnoea - leads to poor quality sleep and excessive daytime sleepiness - google the Epworth Score.
You also need bloods to check for or on etc.
What is your diet like? Are you overweight? Are you drinking alcohol at night? Best wishes.

[ArabellaScott]

OP there is something clearly wrong, here.

What about Thriva? They'll test you for thyroid function and various other things, if you have a specific health concern they will look into it, I believe.

Make noise until someone take all the time they need to find out what the problem is. It's not normal or fair to live like you are living.

[TaraR2020]

Can only echo what others have said here, op.

Ask for print outs of your last few blood tests as well, sometimes GPs won't prescribe supplements if your bloods are low on something when they're not quite low enough to meet the threshold. Eg you could still have aneamia symptoms if your iron isn't low enough to meet diagnostic thresholds but still low.

I'd also try and keep a diary in readiness for your apt with private gp. Track symptoms, hours slept along with diet, period dates and stress levels. Might be useful.

I would also wonder about an ecg to check heart health.

Good luck!

[Kassia978]

Its really sad that going private is the solution here. GP’s really don’t always do a great job of investigating when the symptoms don’t fit into a nice, easily identified box. I get that they’re busy and overwhelmed with patients in an underfunded system, but when you’re the patient having to deal with it, its extremely frustrating. And honestly, suggesting that its mental health (aka ‘I don’t know what it is so clearly it must be all in your head) is just plain enraging.

I spent 10 years fighting GP’s trying to get a diagnosis of what is wrong with me (Endometriosis) and repeatedly being fobbed off and thrown in the ‘too hard’ basket with “oh, you just have an irritable bowel” or “periods are meant to be painful, suck it up” (paraphrasing, obviously). I only got an actual diagnosis (and a proper investigation of my symptoms) when I moved to an entirely different country and had to go to a private doctor by default. It was amazing how fast they got me a diagnosis.

My advice, if you don’t end up going private, is to dig your heels in and be as flat out annoying, demanding and persistent as possible. Refuse to go away without a referral to someone. Make it as difficult as possible for them to ignore you until they give in and do their damn job. You shouldn’t have to live with such debilitating symptoms because your doctor won’t take you seriously. Don’t let them keep fobbing you off. Its unfortunate, but you really have to fight to be taken seriously and refuse to go away.

[Scotmum83]

As others have suggested, ask for B12 to be tested. My mum was fobbed off for years until she collapsed and ended up in a&e and only by chance was tested for pernicious anemia, her b12 levels were borderline but for her that was enough to make her very unwell.

[dottiedaisee]

Maybe you need investigating for sleep apnoea...biggest symptom is extreme tiredness.

[ilovemydogandmrobama2]

Agree with sleep apnoea being a possibility. Friend of mine's husband had it but now has CPAP as had totally changed the quality of life.

If your GP won't take it seriously, change GPs.

[Thecurtainsofdestiny]

Agree with PP, see your GP.

How do you score on the Epworth Sleepiness Scale?

www.blf.org.uk/support-for-you/obstructive-sleep-apnoea-osa/diagnosis/epworth-sleepiness-scale

[Gobbeldegook]

Iron tablets?

[Thecurtainsofdestiny]

( but don't go to A & E unless you have an accident or an emergency!)

[Wegobshite]

My dads just been diagnosed with sleep apnea, at 74 😂
He to wakes up with a dry mouth gasping for air but it was only when he was in hospital recently for several weeks that he was diagnosed

For your bloods I would pay and go private and get tested
Often the levels in the uk for iron & vitamin d deficiency are really low so you won’t get any help but if you were in say Germany or France with the same levels you would be getting all sorts of treatments for it

[desperateexhausted]

Wow so much more great advice, thank you ❤️

Okay, to answer a few more questions:

My work have been incredibly supportive, especially my boss, and we’ve been WFH for the past year full time. We do have some unofficial flexibility as in, if we need to start later or take an extended lunch for any reason that’s always fine, and we don’t have to clock in and out. But I have to be present at certain times for virtual meetings and this is where I’m failing. I haven’t got official flexible hours written into my contract but I think I need a diagnosis/medical support to approach work about getting this.

Yes, it is the same if I’m not working. I was self employed for a while which was even worse for me as I’d be asleep literally 75% of the time and not do any work, resulting in last minute rushes to meet deadlines. I’ve never had a PT job, only ever full time. If I book a week off work and have no plans I’ll sleep from about 11pm-12pm (or later) every day.

I haven’t ever tested positive for covid. I don’t think this is long covid as it’s been going on for about 15 years, on and off. I frequently fell asleep in lessons at school or had to sneak home in the middle of the day to go back to bed.

I’m not long and stretchy with papery skin

Exercise - I walk the dog twice a day. Because of my sleeping he doesn’t always get long walks or early morning walks but he gets me out of the house and has been really helpful.

Yes, I sleep alone (apart from a snoring pug who sleeps in a different room but could probably be heard on Mars).

[Bagelsandbrie]

Daft suggestion but have you had your boiler serviced / checked recently? Having a gas leak can make you very sleepy and out of it and it can be a small one that can go on for years without being dangerous to blow anything up.

I would put money on it being some sort of autoimmune condition though. I was very much like this before I went on to be diagnosed with hypothyroidism (had symptoms wayyyy before it reached the threshold for diagnosis!) and then went on to be diagnosed with lupus, Addison’s, sjorgens etc etc. Most of those don’t show up in the standard full blood count type tests doctors request.

If you can beg, steal or borrow the money I would get yourself to a private endocrinologist and start there.

[Rewis]

I'll echo others. There are a few diagnoses where this might be a symptom. I'd go to see a private doctor if you can afford it. Does your job offer occupational health care? If you can't afford it then go to your GP and demand further investigation.

As for your job. Have you talked about this with your manager? Would you be comfortable telling them?

[Firstbornunicorn]

You say you feel dizzy and nauseous when you sit up. Do you get this a lot? I thought of PoTS. Definitely look it up. You might have a nightmare getting the GP to take you seriously, but it’s not even that uncommon, just poorly understood and underdiagnosed. The fatigue it causes can be absolutely insane.

[Echobelly]

This is definitely not being lazy or anything, I'd go private if you can, sometimes GPs are very bad at understanding tiredness or things that don't involve pain or sickness. Plus I bet they'd take it seriously if you were a man, but because you're a woman they're assuming it's 'all in your head' or something.

A friend spent years thinking she was just lazy and hopeless, but once she got to a sleep clinic she found she had a rare condition that made her incredibly tired but unable to sleep. There are more common conditions as well that cause extreme fatigue.

[MerryMarigold]

OP, I could have written your post 20 years ago. It was finally diagnosed as Chronic Fatigue. I was so relieved I cried as it took so many tests, including psychological/ psychiatric assessments, which all came back that I was fine. But I clearly wasn't fine!

[Youdontknowwhatyoureonabout]

@desperateexhausted

Thanks so much, it’s so helpful to hear everyone’s advice. It’s funny that sleep apnoea has been mentioned as I have on occasion woken up gasping for breath with a really dry mouth as if I stopped breathing momentarily in my sleep but it wasn’t often enough for me to consider it might impact me this much. I think I assumed it was more of an issue for overweight people (I don’t mean that in a judgemental or derogatory way, I just didn’t consider that I could be affected).

Hormones is actually something they’ve never tested despite early menopause running in my family and my mum and grandma being very ill from it (although fatigue wasn’t part of their problems?

@desperateexhausted DH has positional sleep apnoea. I know sleep apnoea is often assumed to be more of an issue for overweight people but it isn’t always the case. They actually told DH he could lose his license if he doesn’t sleep on his CPAP because of how much it affects him. He is so much more energetic now he doesn’t stop breathing all night!

[Wegobshite]

Oh yes forgot to say check for B12
Also get checked for diabetes as well
Thriva is an online blood testing company that will do the test for you so you can pick what you want to be tested for
It’s really quick and you get the results on line
Will cost you about £60 but really worth it

[Hankunamatata]

You can buy Pulse Oximetry meter to measure oxygen in blood. Wear it overnight and could give you an indication if its sleep apnea. Might be a quick way to start.

The technology used in ox