Sacked because I can’t stop sleeping

[desperateexhausted]

Posting here for traffic and NC because I’m ashamed and furious with myself.

So I haven’t been sacked but if I don’t get a handle on the problem I’m heading that way. I have a job with regular daytime hours (no horrible shift patterns, no very early starts or late finishes) and I can’t manage it.

A week of regular 9-6 work absolutely exhausts me to the point that I have in the past fallen asleep in my clothes the moment I got home, not eaten any dinner and slept through til the next morning several times a week. Some weekends I sleep for almost the entire 48 hours, emerging only to use the toilet or microwave a ready meal. I’ve had countless sick days (probably over 20) in the last year because I’m sometimes so tired that I can’t see straight, I feel nauseous and dizzy when I sit up and the fatigue is so overwhelming I feel like I’m being crushed.

I also sometimes (often) sleep through the morning and simply don’t turn up at work. I have two alarm clocks going off right next to my head and they don’t wake me, particularly if I’ve had a night of insomnia (which I also, somewhat ironically) suffer from. This has been going on since my teenage years (I’m now in my 30s) and affected every single job I’ve had - I’ve had probations extended, been sacked from freelance contracts, and now I’m on very thin ice at work. I’m outwardly a professional and successful person but I can barely hold down a job because I cannot stop sleeping and I’m at my wits end. Chronic fatigue has been mentioned by a previous doctor but wasn’t followed up for reasons beyond my control.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to live like this. I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s ruining my life and will ruin it even more if I lose my job (which, frankly, I deserve to). I don’t want special treatment from work, I know how ridiculous it sounds as a grown adult to say ‘sorry I slept through my alarm) 20 odd times a year. I would chop off a limb for an official diagnosis but every blood test I’ve had for the obvious possible reasons comes back completely clear (and I’ve had a lot of blood tests for this over the years).

Has anyone experienced similar and found a solution? It’s getting to the point that I’m terrified every time I go to bed on a weeknight that I won’t wake up when I need to, which in turn keeps me awake worrying, which then disrupts my sleep even further. Any advice would be very, very gratefully received.

[PuzzledObserver]

Sleep apnoea can affect people of any weight. You wouldn’t necessarily wake up when you have an apnoea episode, in fact you mostly wouldn’t. But it brings you out of the deep sleep which you need to refresh you.

If you have a partner, they may be able to tell you whether you have apnea episodes - it took DH 2 years of me telling him he had it before he went to the GP, got referred and had it confirmed. It needs a sleep study to be sure.

With the symptoms you have described, I am amazed your GP hasn’t considered it, but perhaps they are stuck with the stereotype of overweight middle-aged men. It is not confined to them. Even if your GP thinks it isn’t that, they should refer you to rule it out.

Google Epworth Sleep Scale and fill it in, then show it to your GP.

[Kittytheteapot]

@Kittytheteapot

I've only skimmed the responses here, so sorry if this has already been mentioned, but another condition you could be tested for is narcolepsy.

Ah, I promise, AnotherSoddingWalk hadn't posted at the point that I started my post.

[Mycatismadeofstringcheese]

Had your go ever investigated Narcolepsy?

[Kitkatandcoffee]

Could you have a sleep disorder?
There are quite a few. I have sleep apnoea. I was so tired I could barely walk upstairs. I have fallen asleep having a conversation☺️
Felt so exhausted all the time. There are lots of different sleep disorders and you need it sorted out.

[Opaljewel]

Narcolepsy?

[Cipot]

I have fibromyalgia which comes with chronic fatigue. I would pay Medichecks for a full set of blood tests. Our GP overlooked and marked as satisfactory blood tests repeatedly. Medichecks look at them carefully and give a Dr opinion. Others have mentioned but I'd look at thyroid, D3, B12, iron for a start. Things that help me, as I can fall asleep at work, are no alcohol, a really nutritious diet, good multivitamin and regular gentle exercise. It's important to pace, as in do 20 minutes a day instead of nothing Monday to Friday then a 2 hour walk at the weekend. If it is something like ME or fibro, realistically there isn't a lot they can do. But it's helpful to have a reason none the less. Unfortunately the health system works by you repeatedly going back. It can take years to get a diagnosis. Don't give up though.

[GeorgiaGirl52]

Have you had a positive for Covid? I had a mild case of covid and "recovered" in about five days. However, my sleep patterns have changed - from six hours at night to 14 or more hours a day. My blood tests are normal, but my doctor says this is a common aftereffect of covid.

[Mrsmadevans]

Have a look at this OP
www.nhs.uk/conditions/narcolepsy/
May be nothing to do with it but worth a look, hope you find the cause very soon

[ConstantlyChanging]

You’re describing my husband before he was diagnosed with sleep apnea. When he dozed off at the traffic lights while driving I made him go to the GP the next day and wouldn’t let him drive till he was diagnosed (it’s very easy to diagnose you just wear a thing overnight for a couple of nights) and on treatment (CPAP). The change in him is huge. The results showed he was stopping breathing for over 10 seconds about every 3 minutes and then surfacing so no wonder he was permanently exhausted.

[aintnothinbutagstring]

I also concur with possible sleep apnea. My friend was forever complaining about her husband constantly asleep when he finished work (9-5 office job so no manual labour) then he'd go bed at 8-9pm and he'd still be tired on waking. She used to complain as they had no sex life as he was always sleeping! Anyway he was diagnosed with sleep apnoea and felt much better once receiving treatment. If you could get a private GP to perhaps do some tests and do a referral for you?
Saying your bloods are fine, well that all depends on what they're testing?
I'd also suggest getting signed off so you focus on your health and getting to the bottom of what's wrong.

[Msgiggles30]

Have you had your B12 tested? It is often not included in a standard set of bloods..resulting in me being undiagnosed for 3 years with a pretty severe deficiency. The fact you're vegetarian could point to this as B12 comes from animal products.

[Gingernaut]

My guess is sleep apnoea or possible narcolepsy.

Outside chance of ADD - weirdly, I get weeks like this, where I just sleep in my clothes, as I've just flumped onto the bed.

A taxing job, requiring long periods of concentration and effort absolutely exhausts me, however, there are other symptoms for this which you don't describe.

Doctors are very cynical when a patient comes in claiming to be tired all the time and so often fail to appreciate how distressed that patient is and how seriously it's impacting the patient's life.

[User3456]

I've got CFS/ME - not saying that is what you have - but what you're describing is very similar to how I was when I first got ill, I think this symptom is called hypersomnia where you just want to sleep all the time. It's horrendous.
It does seem like you need a second opinion to rule out other things before a CFS/ME diagnosis, I had tests for all sorts of things before they confirmed it for me.
I now probably have more insomnia than hypersomnia, but like you might sleep straight after work. It will depend what the problem is as to what might help you... however these are the things that helped me:

• dropping to 4 days a week in work (I have Wednesdays off to rest and sleep all morning)
• a referral to an occupational therapist at a CFS/ME clinic for help with recognising warning signs and symptoms and learning how to pace properly
• working at home has helped as I don't have to travel and can take 10 mins in my lunch break to lie down (if you're working at home try and set the alarm and have 10 mins lie down at lunch, be sure you will wake up though!)
• I use one of those SAD bright lights in the morning in winter which does seem to help a bit. For you though, if you're sleeping through your alarm, one of those dawn sunrise alarm lights might be good as they might be a different way of waking you up.

CFS/ME has been really neglected research wise, but it's more in the spotlight again now as I think there is a lot of cross over with long covid, maybe things will be learned that will help all of us (if that is what is affecting you).
I wish you lots of luck in getting to the bottom of it and hope you start to feel better soon.

[evelynina]

Hiya OP this was exactly I could sleep 32 hours in one stretch alarms didn't work I was finally believed when my DD managed to climb out of a window while I was sleeping the police and an ambulance came they thought I was dead they had to slap me .

I had blood work , thyroid checks and they couldn't find anything wrong so I was referred to a neurologist I was diagnosed with narcolepsy . To me it sounds like this or ideopathic hypersomnia
I'm on stimulants planned naps and I have one day off purely for sleeping.

I can't do 9-6 or 9-5 jobs cause of my condition I do shift work 12 hour shifts and have 4 days off which works with my condition . Please inbox me if you want to chat.

I'm happy now and it's pretty manageable .

[Branleuse]

Is it the same if you arent working or working part time?

[20DigitCombination]

Have you been tested for auto-immune conditions? CRP and ESR would be a couple of the blood tests that could suggest this.

[gavisconismyfriend]

Definitely get hormones checked. Things like PCOS can cause excessive tiredness.

[m0therofdragons]

My gp did bloods and all was fine then I called back because I still had symptoms (exhaustion) and a different (female) dr said she wasn’t happy she had all the tests she wanted. More bloods showed I am not anaemic but my blood cells are so small they can’t absorb enough iron - my ferritin levels are 6 and should be at least 12 to 100 ish although women with periods are rarely higher than 75. My periods aren’t especially heavy these days. I’m flagging at the moment so back on iron tablets. When my ferritin levels were at 24 i felt amazing. B12 deficiency also has this kind of impact xx

[JustLyra]

I’d be pushing for a sleep study. Narcolepsy is very under-diagnosed in people who don’t also have cataplexy.

[McLarenette]

@desperateexhausted

Thanks so much, it’s so helpful to hear everyone’s advice. It’s funny that sleep apnoea has been mentioned as I have on occasion woken up gasping for breath with a really dry mouth as if I stopped breathing momentarily in my sleep but it wasn’t often enough for me to consider it might impact me this much. I think I assumed it was more of an issue for overweight people (I don’t mean that in a judgemental or derogatory way, I just didn’t consider that I could be affected).

Hormones is actually something they’ve never tested despite early menopause running in my family and my mum and grandma being very ill from it (although fatigue wasn’t part of their problems?

Please mention the waking up gasping for breath thing to your doctor, this is a classic symptom of sleep apnoea. As is the absolute constant tiredness, of course. Poor you, it sounds absolutely horrible and I really hope you get to see someone who can help you.

[theemmadilemma]

Absolutely GP. You'll be protecting yourself. Once you've restarted that process, I would proactively tell your Manager you are.

[Justyouwaitandseeagain]

I agree Narcolepsy or another sleep disorder is worth checking out.

[itsgettingwierd]

Get your work to write you something and take it to the GP? Or do you already have something in writing that shows this is what they'll do?

Get them to tell the GP straight it needs sorting or you'll lose your job.

I'd also move GP or ask to see another? This is ridiculous they are ignoring this.

I'd go as far as telling the GP if they don't refer you now and give you a letter for work so you can show OH you are getting support - and you lose your job - you'll be looking to take them to tribunal over lack of care.

[WalkinginMemphis2]

I know loads will have said this but Jesus this is not right is it, there's clearly something going on, please, please try and insist you get the help you need to sort it out, if a a particular GP fobs off then insist to see another and get a second opinion.

FWIW I had bouts of feeling like this in my 20's never ever got to the bottom of it but I do know exactly what you mean, I used to come in from work and do the same, now I literally cannot believe I used to do that, seems like another life.

[Chronicallymothering]

Are you very flexible with soft stretchy skin at all?