to not self isolate?

[bigbestbulldog]

Sisters wedding is in April after being postponed.

There will only be 15 of us there.

She has asked everyone to self isolate for 10 days before the wedding.

I have already take off 4 days to attend her mid week wedding in Wales when I live in Scotland. This will take up the remainder of my leave for the year. I have had a shitty year and don't intend to spend a chunk of leave next year self isolating indoors where I can't even leave the house (no garden).

She is in the vulnerable category.

I work in an office and not work from home but am very careful.

She told me if I don't it makes her very anxious and I am clearly not making her wedding and her safety a priority.

AIBU to not self isolate?

[ineedaholidaynow]

With the way everything is going I would be amazed if her wedding isn't postponed again, I am afraid

[MrsTerryPratchett]

So two weeks in total? Blimey.

I wouldn't. But I also wouldn't go in the middle of a pandemic. Just have a big party next year to celebrate her anniversary. Can you go Scotland to Wales?

[CatholicKidston]

There's really no point worrying about this now. Just agree to it and see what the situation is nearer the time.

[Superstardjs]

It's 4 months away. Stop worrying about it until March.

[katy1213]

Her wedding is her priority - it doesn't have to be yours. If that's all you get for annual leave, you're being very generous giving up four days.
Can't imagine that her other guests will be isolating either.
Of course, as you live in Scotland you could spin her a story and she wouldn't know the difference!
But the way we're going, there will probably be a new super deluxe virus by then. I wouldn't go buying a hat yet!

[PeriPeriMenosauce]

I guess it depends whether you attend and pass on disease. You won't know til after the fact, but she'll certainly find out. Like PPs say, the dilemma might be removed before then anyway.

[Bunchup]

Anyone who's making plans for next April hasn't been paying attention.

[Aprilx]

I would leave it until nearer the time but if she I still making that demand in April I wouldn’t go.

[Wiredforsound]

I think asking someone to use up over half their annual leave to attend a wedding, especially when it’s not a destination wedding, and they’re expecting you to sit at home for 10 days with all the inconveniences that brings, is completely unrealistic. You probably need to have a conversation with her but ultimately that’s a hell of a big ask.

[TorringtonDean]

Don’t go to the wedding. She is vulnerable so doesn’t need to be infected. If you can’t isolate there is no need to be there. Might be safer all round. It’s probably going to be cancelled anyway.

[xmasfairybuns]

She can't expect you to risk losing your job or use your annual leave. Cause of her wedding. She needs to decide what is more important, the wedding or the marriage.

[StopSquirtingBleachOnCaneToads]

I don't blame you for not wanting to self isolate. I would just be honest with her and say that you won't be doing it (even tell a white lie and say there is an important work thing just before, or that you don't have enough annual leave or whatever) and then leave it up to her whether or not she's comfortable with you still attending.

[GlowingOrb]

I would absolutely isolate prior to the wedding. For me it would just be the default. I come at this from the perspective have having a vulnerable household member. This is just life for us no. Any close interaction with anyone outside our household must be only with people who are as cautious as we are. If you can’t isolate, I think you should bow out so others can attend safely.

[Scottishskifun]

I think there is middle ground between the two of staying in for 10 days and continuing as normal. I would say that unless you're role is absolutely critical such as NHS etc then your employer should be making all reasonable efforts for you to work at home regardless of a wedding especially in Scotland where its only essential offices open.

If it was me I would explain that you have to go into work but that your office is covid secure (they all have to be). But that you will also get a delivery/click and collect for your shopping, will limit social interactions to outside (which currently have to do in Scotland anyway) and will not go into places e.g a shopping trip.

We have just done a self imposed isolation for seeing family but still going outside for walks etc we just avoided busy places but my son still went to nursery as we were going to have 5 days between his last day and travel (all been cancelled now)

[MessAllOver]

This is a very unreasonable request. Tell her you'll take unpaid leave if she'll pay your salary for those days. If she refuses, she doesn't love you enough.

[Frostythesnowman29]

I understand her anxiety but personally I wouldn’t. Don’t isolate just be extra careful with social distancing, not going to busy places etc.

[Blankiefan]

If she is clinically vulnerable, surely she'll be vaccinated by April?

[Snowman2020]

I'm getting married in April too and I wouldn't dream of asking my guests (all 13 of them) to isolate beforehand. Over half of them wouldn't get paid including my husband to be and FIL to be!

So no I don't think you Abu not to isolate

[lyinginthegutterstaringatstars]

I wouldn't . She's not being realistic. Without sounds mean I think it's unlikely her wedding will go ahead. I have a gut feeling that 2021 will be even more of a 💩 storm.

[Washimal]

Expecting people to take two weeks off work to travel to a midweek destination wedding is unreasonable, especially at a time when people are worried about their jobs. I'd be amazed if you were the only one who refuses. If she is so anxious about covid then why not postpone the wedding until vaccination has been rolled out?

[Livelovebehappy]

Can’t you just have a covid test a couple of days before the wedding to prove you are negative, then maybe just self isolate for the couple of days between the test and the wedding?

[MargosKaftan]

If she's vunerable, by April she should have had the vaccination. Obviously this government can fuck things up, but if she's not had it before the wedding, the onus should be on her to reschedule the wedding to later in the year when she will have had it.

[NellePorter]

Is there a reason she needs/wants to get married in April next year? I wouldn't miss my sister's wedding, but it seems a bit selfish to be planning a wedding for then. I think that would help me make my decision. But who knows when they should reschedule it for!

[MrDarcyismines]

Tell her to reschedule for 2023!

[ivfbeenbusy]

You should say no and get together with the other guests and tell your sister that she needs to pay for private covid testing prior to the wedding instead. She'll have saved a fortune on having a much reduced wedding anyway