Covid newborn

[Stars92]

I'm due with my first baby in May. I'm already feeling anxious about visitors after newborn is born. My mil has already said she really hope's everything is back to normal by may. This is her first grandchildren and is overbearing. She doesnt follow the covid rules and expects me and my husband to sit in their house etc I know she will expect her friends and extended family to visit baby. What is everyone else doing for visitors when newborn arrives? I know I'm worrying about something that is ages away and need to stop thinking about it and see what it's like closer to the time.

[Doughnut100]

Hey I was wondering where you are at with this now, OP? I am due end of April and now seems like the time to make a plan. All the guidance just says go by social distancing rules. But I want to work out what the actual risk is.

[MaryShelley1818]

May is ages away! Honestly, see where things are then and make a decision the week before.

I'm being induced around the 20th January and it hasn't crossed my mind yet (and I'm high risk due to insulin use). Your family could all be vaccinated by then hopefully. And tbh it's you who poses the risk to your older relatives rather than the other way round. We are sensible but my toddler attends nursery and I've no intention of our new baby growing up in a sterile bubble with no access to people who love her. Covid presents a ridiculously small risk to a baby/child. There are far more riskier illnesses about for children tbh. I think people have lost all perspective with this Pandemic sometimes.

[1stTimeMama]

May is so far away it's not worth troubling yourself now, who knows what the world will be like then.
I had a baby in May and we all isolated for 2 weeks prior to the birth, including my parents who live hours away, so they could be here and stay for a while afterwards. We all took the precautions we felt were necessary.

[Beentherefonethat]

What does your husband say?

Surely you can’t stop his mum from visiting the baby if she were to self isolate before the birth.

[Mommabear20]

Had my first baby in June 2020, we said, our parents and siblings could visit as we had contact with them during lockdown (support bubbles) but no one else! Even my best friend had to wait 2 months before we'd let her step foot in the house. Family and friends are great but priority is to protect your children.

[GlennRheeismyfavourite]

I'm 38 weeks - my parents are isolating so they can look after my toddler when I'm in labour so we're just going to continue to bubble as a family. Will probably meet brother in law and his family at the park but not let them hold the baby

[Funkypolar]

Due in April. The grandparents will be seeing baby. No face masks needed.

[Joswis]

We can't rely on covid being under control by then.

Just make sure that whenever you see your health visitor or midwife, they explain the rules about no visits due to covid, with your husband present.

Maybe even find a leaflet or website with the advice on it to give to her.

Once that baby is born, you are its protection.

[ftm202020]

You baby your rules. I had a baby in September and we have had our family to see the baby as that is what we wanted. We are already more than 6 so in theory couldn't have anyone meet the new baby, but glad we broke the rules now things have locked down further. But, you can do want suits you with your baby.

[Ginfordinner]

Don't let her guilt trip you into doing anything you don't want to. And make sure you get your partner on side.

You will be your baby's advocate so be strong.

[Nottherealslimshady]

I'm also due in May :) it's a long time away and I'm hoping things will be nearly back to normal. But we wont be having visitors in the first week anyway. And if covid is still hanging around I'll use that as our excuse but really I know I'm going to feel overwhelmed and dont need crowding.

You need to be following the rules at the minute now though, you're vulnerable because your immune system is weaker during pregnancy, you could get seriously ill even just from the flu. You cant be going and sitting in their house. You need to push the "I know its rubbish but you dont want any harm to come to your grandchild do you" narrative.

[Perfect28]

Screw that! Your baby, your rules. You might just have to get used to the idea of upsetting her.

[Foundmy]

I can totally relate to this, I’m due my first baby in February & it’s easy to say don’t worry but being pregnant is like being in a constant risk assessment headspace isn’t it!

I can’t see the situation being much different when I’m due so my plan is for the first month or so it’ll just be me, my boyfriend & our baby with no visitors which I think will be nice as we find our feet as a family. Then if immediate family would like to meet our baby, I’ll ask that they sort of self isolate first - essentially matching what we’re doing of not socialising, trips out to the supermarket but that’s pretty much it. It won’t be doable for everyone but they can choose whether or not they’re prepared to do it. My priority is the safety of my baby. It’d be totally different under different circumstances but it’s such an unknown I think this will be the most comfortable way for us to do it. People in my family & my boyfriend’s are reducing their contact with others since COVID but not to the level I’d feel comfortable with & it feels risky.

Fingers crossed things are easier by may when your baby is due. It’s a really difficult time to be pregnant & there’s no right or wrong so speak up for what you feel is the right decision for you & don’t feel you have to justify yourself. Simply saying this is what we’ve chosen to keep our baby safe is enough.

[HotDiggidy2017]

@fiftiesmum this is so true, reckon we may end up with a whole group of children with increased allergy issues as the whole world is sanitised at the moment 😣

[fiftiesmum]

Just remember that mother in law is at far greater risk of serious illness with covid than your baby, hopefully she will have been vaccinated by then.
In pre covid times babies overwashed in a houseful of disinfectant are more likely to have allergies so need to be sensible.

[MrsWooster]

You describe her as ‘overbearing’. This is the perfect time to start practising “no; sorry, that’s not what I want to happen”. Take hold of the authority-don’t make the midwife or hospital the bad guy. Your mil doesn’t somehow ‘outrank’ you in your immediate family.

[Kb28]

I’m due in a few weeks and have changed my mind on this so many times! From nobody will be meeting baby, to people will have to wear masks and have a sheet between them and baby while holding her - we’ve now settled on restricting visitors to immediate family only for at least the first few months and no masks but anyone who wants to hold her will need to wash hands first.
My partners brother works as a nursing assistant and whilst it’s rare if ever he would be in contact with any COVID positive patients we’ve also agreed that he will time his visit in line with when he has received a negative test to be extra sure... he only works 2 days a week and gets tested fortnightly as a precaution so will know there’s low risk.
We trust everyone to be being as safe as possible and we aren’t isolating ourselves so for us it’s about weighing up risk vs what support we want from family. Definitely no extended family or friends unfortunately.
It’s easily said but try to put it as far to the back of your mind as possible, I spent weeks and weeks torturing myself about the unknown and by the time you get to May there could be so much changed. The most important thing is you and your partner being on the same page and agreeing what you’re both comfortable with.

[Doughnut100]

I'm due in April and have exactly the same worries. But in addition my partner is a tradesman so he's in and out of people's houses all the time. No idea how we will arrange things. It's very easy for people to say don't worry about it until later... but unfortunately it's true. Hopefully things will be a bit better by then and at least it will be spring. X

[SpeccyLime]

I’m due in December. I’m happy for immediate family to visit because I trust them and know they’re following the rules. I wouldn’t be happy with my family having lots of their friends around at the same time.

I would try and shelve your concerns for now - may is a really long time away, and things could be totally different by then. Don’t borrow your worries

[WhySoSensitive]

I’m also due in May and quite anxious.
I’m putting it to the back of my mind and will revisit it all in April, we’ll have a clearer idea by then and plenty of time to let our families know intentions then.
There’s no point in wasting the pregnant worrying.

[rorosemary]

36 weeks pregnant here. I'm very, very vulnerable myself so absolutely no visitors here. I need to protect myself and none of my family or friends are following the guidelines. Too bad. I promised to send lots of pictures.

[Disappointedkoala]

Anything could have happened by May. I'd just tell her that you'll advise nearer the time based on the situation then.

[Noitjustwontdo]

It’s 7 months away, I’d worry about it closer to the time personally. Who knows what things will look like in 7 months time, maybe the vaccination will have been approved or maybe case numbers will be super low. Maybe we’ll be in the sixth lockdown all feeling suicidal as well, who knows!

[Bex0820]

My daughter was born in August when things seemed to have calmed down a bit so I did let my close friends and family visit her. As the months have gone on, they have all been much more careless by going to the cinema, pubs etc. So about 3 weeks ago I messaged everyone to say for my daughters sake they are no longer able to visit as they are constantly putting her at risk. She can't speak up for herself so it is my job to keep her sake. I felt absolutely rotten having to ban them all from seeing her but if it means keeping her safe then I can live with that. We've been so careful to keep her safe at home so by letting people in the house who have been out places just undid all our hard work. So no visitors now for a few months and I am ok with that knowing it will keep my baby safe :)

[Twigletfairy]

She can expect all she likes, it doesn't mean you have to do it.

Do you have your husbands support in this matter?