To let one teeny covid rule stop me joking this gym?

[Johnmenses]

I have very very low self esteem.

I'm suffering low mental health at the moment. And I'm not fit. I'm dissatisfied with how I live my lazy life. I'm coming up to 50, I'd like to embark on a programme of self improvement.

I'm very tempted to join a local gym/spa at the local hotel. I could probably go a couple of times a week - it's 72£ pcm so not cheap but I think that'll make me obliged to go.

The covid rule is yiu should arrive/leave for gym sessions in gum gear. But if you're using hydro suite, then obviously you can change out of wet costume. I understand it's to minimise risk in changing room and am completely on board with that.

I was planning on mostly using hydro but wanted to gird my lions abd start classes etc as my confidence grew.

The idea of being out in public in gymwear is really scaring me. There's no way I could do that.

Am I being a wimp for letting this stop me?

[alloutofducks]

I would add, OP, that if any sane person noticed or cared (which they probably won't), they would admire you immensely for doing what you are doing.

[Johnmenses]

Thanks there's some really kind and useful comments on here.

I'll certainly investigate cbt, thank you to the PPs who suggested it

[justsayso]

Hello, great to hear you're wanting to make some positive changes - going to the gym is great for self-esteem but I totally get the anxiety.
Might I suggest that CBT could be helpful for you in managing this anxiety? *I'm trying to word this politely I don't want to get flamed by the way
I'm guessing you're anxious about people looking at you and negatively judging you based on your appearance in gym clothes, outside of the gym setting.
In gym = okay/acceptable, I'm meant to dress this way in here, other people are wearing similar.
Out of gym = feels socially unsafe, I will stick out like a sore thumb and everyone will be able to see my perceived flaws.
I can tell you with 100% certainty that although you 'feel' like people are looking at you - the vast majority of people will not be. If someone does look at you, its highly unlikely that they will be 'seeing you' and negatively judging you.
I would also guess that if you were to go to the gym dressed ready to exercise, you would be looking at the floor on your way and trying to get in as quickly as possible. That would mean that you never get to find out that no-one is looking at you, because you're in 'retreat mode'; and your worries remain the same.
CBT = Just do it, face the fear and you'll find out you're able to cope

[ArsumLardis]

If you're 4 stone overweight then you're probably exactly the same size as most the women who enter my leisure centre, pool & gym.

[BeneathTheMilkyTwilight]

I'm quite slim but am self conscious about my shape and feel awful in tight fitting gym stuff... instead I wear looser fitting exercise trousers and an over size sports t shirt knotted at the hip (bought 2 or 3 sizes larger than my usual size so it's slouchy and long). H and M are often good for these styles. I probably don't look like I am going to the gym, just wearing comfortable clothes, but they are good for working out in as the material feels breathable and wicks away sweat, and allows for plenty of movement. I hope you can find something similar that you feel comfortable in?

[IrkedEssex]

If you're not going straight home to shower, then surely you'll need to shower at the facility and change into normal clothes?

[Gwenhwyfar]

"I know you don't like the shape of your body "

Tracksuits don't show the shape of the body though. They're loose.

[MsJudgemental]

As everyone else has said, nobody will be looking at you. Even if they do, they will be thinking "I really should get to the gym." If you want to help your self-esteem, don't cover yourself up in baggy, saggy, poor-quality gym clothes. Good quality, fashionable gym gear such as Sweaty Betty or Fabletics will support and firm up your shape. It's expensive, but you deserve it. You can buy it second-hand on eBay and it lasts forever. As you get smaller, you can then sell it on and get some better-fitting kit. Also, get a properly-fitted, high-impact sports bra. This will help you to feel more in shape and means that you can do any form of exercise comfortably. Black goes with anything, if you're worried about bright colours, then just sling a thigh-length hooded jacket on. I think that this whole thing is very odd anyway; I am a member of Bannatyne's and they have simply reduced class sizes and have reduced the number of lockers available.

[plominoagain]

OP .

I’m not small . I used to be , but due to injury I’ve put on some serious weight , which , like you , I am determined to shift again. At my local gym , we literally have all sorts of people , and I tell you what , there’s a lot more people like me , than there are the lithe fit gym bunny type pounding away on the treadmill .

Have you got anyone you can go with ? It’s a lot easier to be brave with a friend . If you’re anywhere near Norfolk , I’d go with you . But seriously? No one will look at you , laugh at you , or comment on your dress . You’ll have done the hardest step by going .

[alloutofducks]

OP, I had the same conversation with one of my DC who was very self-conscious about being seen in public in gym gear.

I said to her, and I'll say to you, that I promise you that nobody will even notice what you are wearing. Everyone is so busy worrying about their own business that they really and truly won't worry about yours.

And in the very, very, very unlikely instance of anyone looking askance, that would make them a complete dick.

[MsStillwell]

What would you normally wear out and about OP? Also, where will you be going afterwards that you're worried about? I'm thinking perhaps we can suggest clothes that will be both your style and suitable for your post-gym destination.

[Saucery]

Do you follow This Girl Can on FB at all, @Johnmenses ?
I know you’re not going to look at all the women on there and immediately feel better about your body, but it shows the range of body types and how women can just get out there and bloody do it. “Take me as I am, or watch me as I go”.

[nosswith]

The big coat seems a good idea.

[Terrace58]

If you are doing the gym right, you are going to want to go home after to shower.



We all have our quirks, so I don’t want to tell you that your being ridiculous, but you really are. You are going to be seen by a bunch of strangers in the same sort of clothing plenty of people wear out on public on a regular basis.

[Weatherwax]

I went to the gym yesterday and I couldn't tell you what anyone else there wore, or what shape they were. I did my workout and left. I can barely remember what kit I wore! Please dig deep and try going once. The first time is the hardest. It can only get easier after that.

[LividLaughLurve]

I’m pretty lardy and look great in gym gear

[YouokHun]

Sorry @Johnmenses I spent ages typing my post above and you’ve since updated. I think some structures therapy such as CBT could really be of help.

[YouokHun]

If your goal is to join and go to the gym regularly why not sit down and list the things that are stopping you? Then take each concern and examine it. Is there a theme to your anxious thoughts, for example the judgement of others? You might benefit from CBT just to help you identify the thinking that is stopping you from fulfilling your goals and it will help you change your behaviour and manage your avoidance. The reality is that other people are FAR too busy thinking of themselves to think about what you’re wearing or what you look like but if you avoid going out in your gym gear you’re never going to recognise this (and other realities). Perhaps you should embark not on a programme of self-improvement but on a programme of self care which includes work on accepting yourself as you are today and working out how you can approach things differently. It’s worth looking on the www.cbtregisteruk.com/ for properly accredited CBT therapists who could help you tackle your anxiety or refer yourself to IAPT for NHS CBT (possibly a long wait though). It’s all online at the moment but it could be very helpful.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Sorry, missed that you're worried about tracksuits as well. Why is that OP?

[Sheeplife]

The thought of being g out in public in trackies abd hoody is giving me palpitations right now.
No one will give a second glance to someone in hoodie and tracksuit, I know you don't like the shape of your body but no one else will look or care. I struggle with anxiety and body image too but starting to come to terms with the fact no one cares but me! Go to the gym it will make you feel better even if it's tough for the first couple of goes in the gym wear

[Gwenhwyfar]

Everyone saying to wear a dress/jeans over it - how would that be different from changing at the gym?
Coat seems to be the easiest.
Also, gym trousers can be tracksuit bottoms, don't have to be leggings.

[JoeCalFuckingZaghe]

What is the major difference between your gym clothes and what you will be wearing before / after (your normal clothes?). Honestly you'd be surprised how trendy gym clothes are now, a lot of people just wear them as comfy clothes to pop to the shops etc in. Can you get some black sports leggings and take a casual comfy dress to just shove on over the top of the leggings? It would just look like leggings and a dress then? Maybe build up like that until you're fully in gym clothes? Or can you change in a toilet if you can't use the changing rooms?

[Heyahun]

i've never seen anyone be judgmental at a gym in my life tbh!! It is all in your head this fear that people go around slagging people off and judging - when in reality the likelihood of anyone having anything to say about what you look like is miniscule!!

[emmathedilemma]

So you'll be going to the gym in the car? Then surely no one is really going to see you?
That gym is on a par with what I pay for gym, pool and classes, any time access.