To be seriously concerned about my family

[Stuckinforever]

We are a family of seven. Two adults, five children under 13. We did the full lockdown, with me being out a lot of the day providing care to family who were shielding, OH trying his best to home school etc. My older children have completely changed, personality wise, probably a mix of teenage hormones as well as recent events.
Kids are back at school, it's half term, and we cannot do anything together. Rule of 6. No cinema, museum, meal. Unless the weather allows us to have a picnic in a public place.
For context, we're tier two. I could meet with 6 of my friends outside but can't do anything, at all, with my family.
I'm seriously concerned about my teenagers' mental health. AIBU to think large families have been forgotten?

[Stuckinforever]

@AlexaShutUp 2 13yos and an almost 13yo (tomorrow) my children want to spend time outside, with their family OUTSIDE the house. They see their friends in school, want family time away from our 3bed house. I'm guessing you don't have a large family...

[WorraLiberty]

[quote Stuckinforever]@AlexaShutUp 2 13yos and an almost 13yo (tomorrow) my children want to spend time outside, with their family OUTSIDE the house. They see their friends in school, want family time away from our 3bed house. I'm guessing you don't have a large family...[/quote]
And they can. You've just misunderstood the rules.

If you have any trouble booking somewhere, take proof.

[DefinitelyPossiblyMaybe]

Surely you can have trips out if just you or your DH go with the children?

[MiddlesexGirl]

Agree with pp. As a similarly large household I simply take my custom elsewhere if businesses don't accept that we can be grouped together. There are plenty that are only to happy to accommodate us as there are so few customers left.

[lyralalala]

Just ring the places you want to go and explain that you are a large family and they’ll tell you how to book

[SleepingStandingUp]

No cinema, museum, meal
Have you called restaurants and actually explained, offered to bring birth certs as proof?
Cinemas are pretty empty. Book seats 1, 2, 3, 4. It'll make you leave out 5 and 6 so book seats 7, 8 and 9 then smush up. Or call them and book directly. Museums if you walk in with the older ones and DH behind you with the littlies who is going to comment? Or just take proof. Surely in a museum type place you split up a little anyway, the 7 of you don't move from item to item en masse?

[AlexaShutUp]

@AlexaShutUp 2 13yos and an almost 13yo (tomorrow) my children want to spend time outside, with their family OUTSIDE the house. They see their friends in school, want family time away from our 3bed house. I'm guessing you don't have a large family...

OK, so sounds like it's the overcrowded housing situation that may be taking its toll on their mental health, perhaps exacerbated by having to spend more time at home? That must be hard.

Can't the older ones go to the cinema together while you and dh do something with the younger ones? I do understand that you want to be able to do stuff all together, and that you're frustrated about the current rules seeming to ignore disregard families like yours, but as long as the kids can still get out and do stuff, I still don't really see how it's going to have a massive impact on their mental health if you have to put whole family trips on hold for a while?

In any case, it sounds like you've misunderstood the rules so hopefully that resolves the issue for you?

[Againanothername]

You have my sympathy, you really do.
But I don’t think that meals out are crucial for good mental health.
I do feel for teens right now, it’s very hard for them. But I don’t think that not being able to go on family outings is likely to be that big a deal. Many families can’t afford this sort of thing ever.

[BefuddledPerson]

I'm not sure you're right though because the rules allow you to and clearly with the ages of your children plus two adults you look like one family.

Have you really got refusals from all these places? Have you tried to book anywhere and been told no?

[Chicchicchicchiclana]

It's great that both you and dh can be off work at the same time to spend all this time together with your children, you could look at it that way?

[Aridane]

YABU - you can go out as a household,

[PlanDeRaccordement]

Just book two tables. Etc. Take turns of being in a group and go out as two groups of four.

[BefuddledPerson]

I've been wondering about this so I just looked (insomnia alert ) and English Heritage and national museums both allowed groups of >6 to be selected on the website. Our local museums definitely allow larger families in.

I hope you find something nice to do OP.

[Weebitawks]

I duno I think you're making this more difficult than it needs to be. The law clearly states you can all leave the house together.

[Porcupineinwaiting]

I think you are making this more difficult than it needs to be

Yep me too. Have you not thought that you might book at a museum/zoo/cinema for 1 adult and 2 children plus 1 adult and 3 children then meet up in the venue? If you really cant find anywhere to book you in as one init of course.

[Sodamncold]

Seriously concerned

But done squat all research

[yellowmaoampinball]

Well at least you have the option of splitting up and doing stuff if venues really won't allow you in together. I'm in Wales so everything is shut. And my older kids have an extra week at home. So, if it helps, things could be worse.

[Ponoka7]

"to the PP, yes rule of 6 doesn't apply BUT no where will book a table for 7, or let you book 7 tickets, or sell 7 seats....etc."

I have a friend in a similar situation. She just gets asked to bring along her CB letter, so show it on her phone.

My DD managers a residential house and they have booked for more than six, again they show proof.

We are in Liverpool but venues are allowing it, with proof.

[Xiaoxiong]

My parents, aunt and cousin moved in with us in August so we are a single household of 8. We just explain on the phone that we are one household or if they are funny about it we book 2 groups of 4. Yes it's a bit of extra explanation at the time of booking but we haven't been turned away from anywhere yet. We went to the Eden project yesterday as a family of 8, for example.

[Itisbetter]

Same size family here. It’s slightly more restrictive presumably because being a larger group we are more likely to get the disease? There are worse things in life than not going out to eat (surely you can do takeaway or fish n chips together and restaurants in subgroups? Very few 13 year olds really want to watch the same thing at the cinema as toddlers and it’s only more screen in a different setting anyway.

[Isadora2007]

If your children are those ages then you’re a blended family? It might be nice to mix that up a bit and do smaller groups or to even do your own kids only for a few activities etc. Be creative and find the solutions not the problems. To be fair it doesn’t sound like you’ve exactly tried anything much... and I’m sure the kids don’t actually say “no thanks we don’t want to go to the cinema without our little siblings”
Yes I DO have a larger family so I know fine well the chances of them clamouring to be together at all times is pretty damn slim indeed!!!

[JamminDoughnuts]

where do you want to go?
you may be able to book two adjoining tables if you want to eat out?

[acerred]

@tootiredtothinkofanewname

to the PP, yes rule of 6 doesn't apply BUT no where will book a table for 7, or let you book 7 tickets, or sell 7 seats....etc.


You have my sympathy OP.

Make two different bookings with a different email address ? That would work for the cinema

[Charles11]

If you can see their mental health is being affected then just get them out.
Take them separately if you have to, go out for your picnic or just some walking. It’s not raining all day every day.
Getting out for fresh air or somewhere spacious and stimulating like a museum if indoor, is probably way better for improving mental health than sitting around a table in an enclosed and possibly crowded restaurant anyway.

[RettyPriddle]

Look for the positives in this situation. It’s autumn so get outdoors and enjoy the changing of the seasons. Teach your kids the power of resilience; life is full of challenges. They’re very lucky to have both parents around to entertain them and also to have the company and support of siblings, in the same boat. 😊