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AIBU?

To be angry at this GP

164 replies

yevans · 28/09/2020 20:17

Went to my usual surgery and saw a lovely GP. She was really great until she found out that I was pregnant (first trimester) and also breastfeeding my 1 year old at the same time. I then got a lecture about how it could be dangerous to breastfeed whilst pregnant and that I should think about stopping. I am really mad about this. I told her that it was only an issue if you have problems with pre term labour previously. She disagreed and seemed to refuse to believe me. I'm glad I knew that it was fine for me to carry on but others may not and if told that would be guilt tripped into stopping before they or baby are ready.

AIBU to be really angry that breastfeeding is pushed so heavily when your baby is little then as soon as they are over 1 it's frowned upon and not supported? Why is this??

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Am I being unreasonable?

415 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
57%
You are NOT being unreasonable
43%
MotherOfDragonite · 28/09/2020 22:04

Good on your GP @user456789! Goes to show why their being properly educated about breastfeeding is important.

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MotherOfDragonite · 28/09/2020 22:05

@Volcanicorange

It's not fearmongering. The WHO recomends leaving 18-24 months between pregnancies (not births)

www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/women-should-leave-least-year-between-pregnancies/

'For women overall, pregnancy intervals of 9 to 12 months or less were associated with a small increased risk of the following complications, compared with a pregnancy interval of at least 18 months:

small baby
premature birth
severe foetal or newborn complications (a combined outcome looking at extremely low birthweight or prematurity, stillbirth or infant death)
severe maternal illness or death'

Why don't more people know this?!

That has literally zilch to do with breastfeeding. The advice (and risks) apply equally to women who formula feed.
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user456789 · 28/09/2020 22:05

@jessstan2 don't tell someone when to wean their child.

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yevans · 28/09/2020 22:06

@Volcanicorange thanks for your concern but maybe chat about that on a conception thread as opposed to this one. It's a bit late for me! Not here to discuss whether or not it was right for me to have conceived this early or not (fwiw - the correct answer is that it's my choice)

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HeyDuggeesCakeBadge · 28/09/2020 22:07

Volcani you okay hun?

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Volcanicorange · 28/09/2020 22:09

That has literally zilch to do with breastfeeding.

My original comment was that a short gap between pregnancies had consequences for the second child even without a second child being nutritionally supported by the mother. Which is true.

I breastfed both mines for over 2 years, I'm pro breastfeeding, but saying it has no impact on the mother's nutritional state is untrue.

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KaleJuicer · 28/09/2020 22:10

Are you a healthy weight and are you gaining an appropriate amount of weight? I say that as someone who breastfed two children (not at the same time and not while pregnant) for a total of four years. I had to really focus on what I was eating to get enough nutrition if I wanted to eg go for a run. I would have struggled if I was pregnant as well but if you are feeling well and your blood work etc is good then I can’t see why the GP should have queried it.

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BiBabbles · 28/09/2020 22:10

Because, much like breastfeeding research, it has significant limitations and generally this type of research isn't well advertised. As it states in the link, few experiences the problems listed even in the higher risk group and the sample isn't entirely representative. Also, they're only covering the short-term though some of the WHO literature goes more in-depth.

In the short-term, it carries slightly higher risk to baby and mother. The issues come in the long term, especially with more close pregnancies together, and - like breastfeeding - as this is generally considered mostly choice, I think while this should be more widely known, information on the type of additional supplementation that might be beneficial might be more useful. Vitamin D (and with it K2), higher than typical recommendations of folic acid, among others may be of benefit as would more standardized nutritional blood testing, but this area is very underresearched, much as breastfeeding it. Really, this is only what we know for now.

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Onceuponatimethen · 28/09/2020 22:11

@Volcanicorange you still are not posting any evidence to suggest bf depletes nutritional status for the foetus, if that is what you are implying. AFAIK there is no evidence of this in a non high risk pg, which is why the NHS say bf while pg is fine

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cdtaylornats · 28/09/2020 22:12

Apparently the hormone that starts labour is produced in tiny amounts while breastfeeding. I suppose it is possible some fault could cause extra hormones to be released.

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Somethingsnappy · 28/09/2020 22:13

I feel your frustration OP. As others have said, the average GP has only received a tiny amount of training in this area.
Actually, your body adjusts to your pregnancy whilst breastfeeding....often the milk supply will reduce somewhat by about the 5th month of pregnancy. Our bodies seem to know what they are doing!
It's good that you knew enough to have the confidence to contradict your GP.

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jessstan2 · 28/09/2020 22:13

[quote user456789]@jessstan2 don't tell someone when to wean their child. [/quote]
I was only making a suggestion, not giving a directive. It's up to the op what she does but she came on here asking for opinions.

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CatherinedeBourgh · 28/09/2020 22:14

I had an obgyn tell me that bfing my 2 yo was bad for him as it would make him less independent. Particularly as he was a boy.

Medical training is very broad but not necessarily very deep outside of specialities- and medics are just people, some are humble and willing to learn, others are arrogant shits who know it all, most are somewhere in between depending on how tired they are/what else is going on in thei lives/what kind of a day they’ve had.

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MotherOfDragonite · 28/09/2020 22:14

@Volcanicorange

That has literally zilch to do with breastfeeding.

My original comment was that a short gap between pregnancies had consequences for the second child even without a second child being nutritionally supported by the mother. Which is true.

I breastfed both mines for over 2 years, I'm pro breastfeeding, but saying it has no impact on the mother's nutritional state is untrue.

The research that this is based on doesn't mention anything about breastfeeding. It also doesn't draw conclusions about the mother's nutritional state.

jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/2708196
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Volcanicorange · 28/09/2020 22:15

Wheres the evidence that it doesn't? It's an under researched area, as people have said.

Personally if I had a short pregnancy interval, I would be a bit cautious about breastfeeding as I would worry it would further deplete my body and affect the foetus.

If you disagree, fine. But no need to be so defensive if you are sure you are right...

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MsEllany · 28/09/2020 22:17

Your AIBU isn’t unreasonable but it’s not really the same as what happened.

Why were you seeing the GP? Completely unrelated to the pregnancy or breastfeeding? Or something that could be related? Coz I can understand why she might say this if you’ve gone to her with general fatigue or something!

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perfectstorm · 28/09/2020 22:17

OP, that poster literally just cut and pasted the negative, second half of a lengthy post on a US parenting site (called, um, 'The Alpha Parent'), skipping the first half, which sets out the benefits of close spacing. That also carries citations. Though as we know precisely nothing about the credentials of the person writing that blog entry, and anyone can have a hasty whirl on Google and create copy pasta, I think I'd take the whole thing with a salt cellar, myself.

Congrats on your pregnancy.

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Coquohvan · 28/09/2020 22:18

As a mother of twins my babies were breast fed and flourished. Also was a member of a multiples play group. One who had a further baby 15 months after twins who she BF. The twins were on bedtime feed only then.
Not sure why your GP said what they did.

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Redolent · 28/09/2020 22:18

Many GPs are absolutely clueless about breastfeeding.

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sexyomelette · 28/09/2020 22:18

I don't really know anything about breastfeeding in pregnancy but I do know that GPs aren't specialist in this area and their knowledge on it could be pretty small.
Their medical knowledge is 'general' as it's impossible to specialist in everything and in my experiences there can be gaps in their knowledge on certain specialist areas. I've had very bad and harmful advice from a two GPs in regard to mental health, they were clueless about it and as the patient I certainly had a better grasp of it than them as i'd invested my own time doing research. It's your body and your baby and you've done the research so can decide for yourself how to proceed. She can certainly give you advice but shouldn't be lecturing you. Doctors do an amazing job and are of great authority but that doesn't mean we can't disagree with them or question them. They can also get stuff wrong!

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yevans · 28/09/2020 22:19

@cdtaylornats the hormone is oxytocin and it's also released during sex which is widely considered safe during pregnancy (and even encouraged near the end sometimes!...)

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MotherOfDragonite · 28/09/2020 22:20

@Volcanicorange

Wheres the evidence that it doesn't? It's an under researched area, as people have said.

Personally if I had a short pregnancy interval, I would be a bit cautious about breastfeeding as I would worry it would further deplete my body and affect the foetus.

If you disagree, fine. But no need to be so defensive if you are sure you are right...

I understand the concerns you have would make you cautious.

I'm just pointing out that there's nothing in that particular piece of research to suggest that any mother would need to have those concerns, so I wouldn't want anyone else to read what you've quoted above about the risks and think they are associated with breastfeeding, as that is not what the research says. It is purely about the length of the gap between pregnancies.
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Midwife1997 · 28/09/2020 22:20

Believe me - keep on breastfeeding your child. Eat a healthy diet and your unborn baby will be fine. Only think about what you want to do once your baby is born. It is very true that midwives are very knowledgable about these things.

I wish you all the very best for this pregnancy and your life with a 1 year old baby.

Midwife. x

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yevans · 28/09/2020 22:21

@perfectstorm much salt being pinched over here, thanks Grin

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MotherOfDragonite · 28/09/2020 22:21

I am passionate about challenging the widespread misinformation about breastfeeding.

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