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AIBU?

To be angry at this GP

164 replies

yevans · 28/09/2020 20:17

Went to my usual surgery and saw a lovely GP. She was really great until she found out that I was pregnant (first trimester) and also breastfeeding my 1 year old at the same time. I then got a lecture about how it could be dangerous to breastfeed whilst pregnant and that I should think about stopping. I am really mad about this. I told her that it was only an issue if you have problems with pre term labour previously. She disagreed and seemed to refuse to believe me. I'm glad I knew that it was fine for me to carry on but others may not and if told that would be guilt tripped into stopping before they or baby are ready.

AIBU to be really angry that breastfeeding is pushed so heavily when your baby is little then as soon as they are over 1 it's frowned upon and not supported? Why is this??

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Am I being unreasonable?

415 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
57%
You are NOT being unreasonable
43%
RoseGoldEagle · 28/09/2020 21:16

The GP is wrong. I did a lot of research into this when I became pregnant with DC 3. Am now 38 weeks and still feeding DC 2 (only a couple of times a day now, but a lot more to begin with), I haven’t had any issues at all, and all the midwives I’ve discussed it with have been fully supportive. Of course if someone was struggling or had specific problems then stopping would be completely the right thing to do, but it shouldn’t just be blanket advice to stop.

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tootiredtothinkofanewname · 28/09/2020 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WestieW0man · 28/09/2020 21:16

YANBU. It's fine. Just eat loads! My 2nd was over 9lbs and I was bf my first throughout

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DimidDavilby · 28/09/2020 21:17

YANBU

I would complain nicely to practice manager, but then i am one of those bf evenagelicals Grin

Currently tandem feeding my 1 year old and 4 month old and loving it. They hold hands and stare at each other and it is wonderful.

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yevans · 28/09/2020 21:18

@mumwon completely agree they can't know everything, would just be nice if they could admit to being wrong/just say they don't know instead of being adamant about things which aren't correct!

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Babyroobs · 28/09/2020 21:19

I breastfed ds1 until he was 16 months and went into premature labour with ds2 so maybe there is a risk. I was never warned not to bf for so long whilst pregnant.

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ReggaetonLente · 28/09/2020 21:19

The GP was absolutely wrong. Its totally biologically normal to tandem feed. The human race would have died out if it wasn't possible.

I can't believe that so many people on here are a) so clueless and b) so snotty about it

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villanova · 28/09/2020 21:19

OP I suggest you read Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy & Beyond, by Hilary Flower, or find a local La Leche League group, where you will probably find some experienced tandem feeders.
I extended bf all 3 of mine, and tandem nursed in the 2 crossovers, and found it brilliant - no soreness or over-production, or difficulty latching, as the older child could take the 'excess'.
You may find your baby stops naturally: sometimes your changing hormones can slightly change the taste of the milk, and they're sensitive to it. Mine didn't, but I wouldn't have minded either way.

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TheOrigBrave · 28/09/2020 21:20

@Frannibananni

I can find information to support any fact I want on the internet. The GP is giving you the information she believes is right, you can’t get angry at that.

That "she believes" is right? Or has evidence and training to back what she is saying up?
Of course you should get angry if the person meant to give you professional advice is WRONG.
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GwendolineMarysLaces · 28/09/2020 21:23

@Poppinjay

Isn’t it about most your nutrition should go to the fetus growing rather than 1 year old?

How much nutrition do you think a tiny foetus in the first trimester takes?

Women can easily sustain two growing babies for months at a time so one baby who is also receiving additional nutrition and one tiny foetus is not going to be a problem.

Erm, an absolute fucktonne. The requirements for some nutrients go up several-fold.
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mumsiedarlingrevolta · 28/09/2020 21:23

[quote yevans]@mumsiedarlingrevolta that was completely fine and you DEFINITELY weren't being disloyal to your son!! It's 100% correct for anyone to stop whenever they feel like it, I just don't want anyone to be forced into stopping through misinformation when they would have happily carried on.[/quote]
Absolutely agree! thank you-funny how I still have a pang of guilt and that DS is 24!!!

It is such an emotive issue and women do need support in doing what is right for their specific set of circumstances!!

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Dinosaurpooped · 28/09/2020 21:25

GP’s don’t get proper breastfeeding training unless they seek out to do it.

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pandafunfactory · 28/09/2020 21:26

Do you think just maybe she was trying to help you and so accusing her of all the crimes against maternity under the sun is a tad over dramatic? GPs aren't experts on breast feeding. They are experts on knackered and distressed parents, they see them all the time. My GP told me to have a glass of wine before the night feed to help dd sleep. A different GP also told me it was ok to stop breastfeeding when I was overwhelmed. I continued however, partly because I knew I didn't have to. That's support.

Shall I hunt down these careless medical professionals and kebab them?

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AwaAnBileYerHeid · 28/09/2020 21:30

A "lecture"? Hmm

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vixb1 · 28/09/2020 21:31

I have a question about tandem feeding....

The colostrum, the first really nutritious bit of milk, does that still happen if you're already full flow for your first born?

I've always been told your breasts adjust the make up of the milk depending on what baby needs. So what happens if you have two different babies at two stages?

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Onceuponatimethen · 28/09/2020 21:31

Yes Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy & Beyond, by Hilary Flower, is an excellent book

I bf dd while pg with dd2 and all was well, until dd naturally self weaned late in the pg. that was a good natural end to bf for her - she was 3 and it was a good time for her to stop.

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yevans · 28/09/2020 21:32

@pandafunfactory 😂 'kebabing' medical professionals is definitely not on my to do list you'll be happy to know but thanks for the giggle.

And not accusing her of all maternity crimes under the sun either, she was absolutely great with everything else that I spoke to her about and I have no wish to go on any witch-hunt. My main concern I suppose is the way in which I was treated as if I was a dummy for suggesting she could be wrong. Not expecting them to be experts in everything, just to be personable enough to take criticism or check up on advice when challenged (very nicely and gently I might add)

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Onceuponatimethen · 28/09/2020 21:33

@vixb1 I wondered about this too, but apparently your baby still gets the colostrum. This is covered in the book above iirc

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Volcanicorange · 28/09/2020 21:33

Babies born within 18 months of a previous baby are associated with an IQ deficit due to the depletion of the maternal nutrients.

And that's WITHOUT breastfeeding while pregnant.

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AwaAnBileYerHeid · 28/09/2020 21:34

When I was pregnant with DC2 I told my midwife that I was still bfing my 2 year old and that was ok, wasn't it? She said she'd never come across it before so she didn't know and would have to look it up. Well, I could do that myself!

@RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime what's wrong with someone not knowing the answer to something therefore checking that they have the correct info before giving you the answer? I bet you would have complained if she answered with "I don't know, look it up yourself".

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PlanDeRaccordement · 28/09/2020 21:35

GP was just wrong, unless you are at risk for preterm labour.
Besides, if your body cannot do both, your milk will dry up and the older infant will have no choice but to wean. This happened to me between DC2 and DC3.

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Onceuponatimethen · 28/09/2020 21:35

I agree ok for mw to say they will look it up, but I do think mw should know that absent special circumstances feeding in pg is usually fine. If it isn’t covered in training, it should be.

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yevans · 28/09/2020 21:36

@Volcanicorange

Babies born within 18 months of a previous baby are associated with an IQ deficit due to the depletion of the maternal nutrients.

And that's WITHOUT breastfeeding while pregnant.

Errr right. Can you point me in the direction of the evidence for this?
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Volcanicorange · 28/09/2020 21:37

Falling pregnant so soon after your last pregnancy increases the risk that you will be deficient in important nutrients. For instance, you have a greater risk of developing iron deficiency and anaemia (Morasso et al; Vandenbroucke et al) and gastroschisis (Getz et al).

-You have an increased risk of placental abruption (Blumenfeld et al).
Compared to women who wait two years to conceive, you are 3.4 times more likely to experience labor or delivery complications (MDCH).
If your previous birth was via caesarean, you are at an increased risk of uterine rupture if you attempt a VBAC. To give you the stats: waiting less than 6 months before trying again will triple your chances of uterine rupture during VBAC (Stamilio et al; Esposito et al 2000).

-Your baby is at a greater risk of having a lower-than-expected or low birth weight (less than 2500g), being preterm (King). This is thought to be linked to the low collagen concentrations in the cervix of women with closely spaced pregnancies (Sundtoft et al).

-They are also at increased risk of suffering from congenital anomalies (Chen et al), schizophrenia (Gunawardana), menstrual disorders (Smits et al), and low IQ (Probert; (Pettersson-Lidbom and Skogman Thoursie). The latter is particular so if your child is a boy.
Your baby is also at an increased risk of stillbirth or succumbing to early neonatal death, even if you live in a high-income country. Ouch! (Wendt).
You are more likely to develop the baby blues (Gürel).
The shorter the interval between pregnancies, the higher the SIDS rate (American SIDS Institute).
Over-supply of breastmilk is more likely to occur if your children are closely spaced. It’s as though your body is producing milk for a bigger baby and your newborn struggles with the faster flow of the milk (Cave and Fertleman).
-Looking after a baby while you’re pregnant can be very tiring. Your body won’t have fully recovered from the last pregnancy. You may be excessively tired and easily run down. Iron and calcium stores will not have had time to replenish (Winkvist et al; King).

-Anything less than an 18 month gap has been shown to reduce a woman’s life expectancy (Centre for Population Studies; The Independent).
-Some studies suggest that you will be more likely to mistreat your children if you have spaced them this closely. 18% more likely, to be precise (Thompson et al).

-Having a gap of less than 17 months is associated with a significantly increased risk of having a baby of prematurely and underweight. The risks are highest for babies conceived less than six months after the birth of a previous child (World Health Organisation; Conde-Agudelo et al).

-Your children will be at an increased risk of attachment problems. The theory is that neither child gets enough attention from the mother to create the close mother-child bond that children need to flourish (Kauai Longitudinal Study).
Common interests lead to competition and one of the children (usually the youngest) can become insecure if he constantly does less well than his older sibling.

-It’s not all good news for the first-born either. Because their sibling was born before the older child lost the belief that they’re responsible for everything that happens, a long-last psychological legacy often occurs: essentially, the older child, driven by fear of rejection, will have a chronic tendency to be highly self-critical and less likely to forgive themselves when they make mistakes. Many firstborns never lose this tendency to feel guilty and/or overly responsible when things go wrong (Blair).

-Some recent studies suggest that children who are born only a year after an older sibling are three times more likely to be diagnosed with autism (Gunnes et al; Cheslack-Postava et al). This is because women are more likely to have depleted levels of nutrients such as folate and iron, as well as higher stress levels, after a recent pregnancy (affecting fetal brain development).

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Onceuponatimethen · 28/09/2020 21:38

But gaps that short aren’t the norm, are they?

What is the evidence that these effects are in any way similar to a longer birth gap and bf while pg?

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