To be tired of so called food "intolerances" in children when the parent can't explain what symptoms the alleged intolerance produces?

[MrsSchadenfreude]

For the record, I am NOT talking about proper food allergies - coeliac disease, nut allergy etc. DD had some friends round for a sleepover the other week, and one mother said "oh X can't have anything dairy, she is intolerant to it." Fine, I cooked everything with soya milk and veg margarine. Another child was intolerant to wheat, so cakes were all gluten free as well. Gluten intolerant boy also had an intolerance to bananas. Apparently.

Asked parents what the symptoms were of these "intolerances" when children were collected. The wheat boy "bloated a bit after having bread once". Bananas? Apparently the doctor tested for banana intolerance and he was, although had never shown any signs. Dairy child "sometimes gets a tummy ache" if she has cheese. Has she had tests? Oh no. Parents self diagnosis.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this has all gone a bit far, and is used by mothers to show just how "precious" their little one is?

[Peachy]

The mild symptoms are quite debilitating in themselves aren't they Spidermama, if nto life threatening- accepted a cup of tea at PA meeting today because didn't want to fuss, had to run home to the loo - severe stomach cramps (and having ahd three kids I feel uqlaifed to say contraction level LOL) and diarrhoea... nice!.

[SueBaroo]

As it happens, Dd2 suffers from eczema, and some food doesn't help, but we don't make a big thing of it. And it is my responsibility to make sre she doesn't have too much of the things that will make her miserable and blotchy red on her back and the backs of her knees.

This isn't about people being coy over nasty symptoms - this is about some people being hypochondriacs by proxy through their kids. If your children have real symptoms from specific foods, then this isn't about you.

[Blu]

SmartArse - resist the temptation! They only get customers because they sell to school children at lunch and tea times and are open v late at night so that people with impaired judgement and the munchies can go there.

[meemar]

I too don't understand why anyone would find it fashionable and go to the trouble of changing a childs diet to make their child seem 'precious'.

My DS2 has an intolerance to dairy, and quite frankly I could live without it. It has not been diagnosed by a doctor, but not all allergies/intolerences need to be. Most people don't need a doctor to tell them they have hay fever for example.

DS2 suffered from patchy eczema and a permanantly blocked up nose. The GP was fairly dismissive and said he would grow out of it. We tried a dairy free trial and found it had enourmous benefits to his skin and breathing.

[StarryStarryNight]

YAB a little bit U

My youngest gets diaorrhea from oranges/satsumas/clementines. And a bleeding nappy rash, even if he is changed straight away. He has not been diagnosed, but as his mum who cares for him, I can put two and two together, and I have spent significant time logging his eating and his diaorrhea/nappy rash to see if I could figure out the cause, and hey presto, Oranges/satsumas/clementines.

I hate to be labelled in such a manner just because I will ask that he is not given citrus fruits, and it is not becuase he is so "precious".

[Skribble]

I think there are an awful lot of parents giving alergies and intolarrances a bad name.

Ages ago a child at DD's party was supposed to be allergic to all known food colourings and additives, so I specially selected stuff for his party bag that didn't contain any. She took one look and said oh he can't have that I explained they were additive free, she said oh its fine I will have them with a cuppa later.

His supposed signs were then he was hyperactive... hello you have cut out all additives and he still runs wild. I think she was allergic to controling her child. Good job she didn't see the 3 tons of smarties and choclate buttone he had on his ice cream .

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Suebaroo has put it better than I did - I wasn't getting at people who have real allergies/intolerances and real symptoms from certain foods - it's about imagined symptoms from certain foods.

I want all of DD's friends to be able to come round and to give them a nice meal, and to eat, more or less, what the others do. A GF and dairy free birthday cake is no big deal. Ditto, with a bit of careful planning, an entire birthday tea. And I can't think of anything more depressing than sitting down to a packet of rice cakes and carrot sticks when the rest of your friends are eating sausages and cakes, when with a little planning it can be avoided.

[Upwind]

The trouble with hypochondria is that they genuinely believe they have problems - if Blu's DP was on this thread he would no doubt be describing the effects of his hangovers as resulting from intolerance or pointing out the advantages that a restricted diet could have for his son (as the testing company clearly persuaded him).

I am highly suspicious of certain "intolerances" especially red meat. One friend explained how at each barbeque last summer where she had red meat her stomach was upset the next day so she couldn't have it any more. I was there too and she drank a remarkable amount of wine at each of those parties.

Suspect the same goes for certain dcs allergies - they go to a party and fill up on junk as well as stuff they wouldn't usually eat. Parents then suspect intolerances when actually the child attempted to down his own weight in sweets and fizzy drinks.

[Upwind]

hypochondriacs

[Blu]

I am just dreading that the damn home testing kit does show some intolerance - are they reliable? Do they identify intolerances just so that the buyer feels their £20 has been worth it?

I have managed to instil some sense into DP...but he did try to make DS eat that horrible gluten-free corn pasta on SAturday. I agree with Meemar - I don't understand why anyone would subject themselves to stuff like that unless they had to.

And Dr John Misery-face Briffa in the Observer Food Supplement wants his head shoving in a cornish pasty, too!

[chloesmumtoo]

Do people really make up allergies on purpose! No I would hardly think so either. You are probably refering to poor people who 'yes' probably are trying to self diagnose because its so so hard to work out what their children are reacting to let alone aquire the tests from a doctor. Its not easy and quite often you bark up the wrong tree or just cope as best you can. You dont always know all the medical info that you should as you are not a doctor! Being a parent of a 'diagnosed' allergy child anyone has my sympathies who may be anxious about anything that they suspect their child to be allergic to. Sometimes you notice symptoms and sometimes you may not its bloody hard work!

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

I think the motive sometimes in self-diagnosing intolerances is that they avoid dealing with the actual cause of the problem, esp if it's behavioural.
We stayed in a cottage with friends once with a dairy-intolerant 2 year old. Now, she was intolerant - came out in hives etc, it wasn't imaginary. BUT when said 2 year old was stroppy, the explanation given was, 'Oh, that soup in the restaurant must have had cream in even though the waiter swore it hadn't,' rather than, 'we've been stuck in a cottage for 2 days with hardly any toys and she's bored to tears'.

[Upwind]

Chloe'smumtoo - I don't think that anyone really "makes up" allergies or intolerances on purpose. Just that some parents are sucked in by unscrupulous folk who know they can make money from parents' anxiety.

Blu - to the best of my knowledge those blood tests are useless at detecting genuine food allergies or intolerances. The only reliable tests involve a blindfolded challenge in a hospital setting.

[Blu]

Kathy - yes, I think you have identified one of the key factors in parents being convinced that intolerances are present in thier children. It's a dide effect of modern parenting.

Again - no quibble with parents who have children who really DO react behaviourally to some foodstuffs.

[tori32]

I have to laugh, as one mum said her dd 4yrs was milk intolerant. However, the child sometimes has 2 yoghurts for breakfast, which are milk based. When I asked about her symptoms she said she got constipated, then in the next breath told me how she was fussy with fruit and veg! I have also noticed that she hardly drinks unless reminded to do so. WTF! Is it not possible that the latter problems cause the constipation?

[chopchopbusybusy]

Blu - depends on what the test is. If it's just a general allergy/intolerance test then it's a waste of £20 (but will show positive for something, just so that you feel it was money well spent).

If it's a Biocard Coeliac test they are supposed to be as accurate as the GP coeliac test.

If it is the Coeliac test (and I'm guessing it could be if DH has been feeding DS gluten free pasta) then the result can only be accurate if your DS has been eating a normal diet containing gluten for at least six weeks prior.

[Peachy]

Also with the coeliac test, it can only be actually diagnosed by a Gp anyway so the next step is often a biopsy- simply becasue blood tests aren't really reliable. They can be a handy way of determning whether you need to see your GP. To the best of my knowledge though, they won't test for an intolerance. IME the oonly way to try that is to try an exclusion diet.

[meemar]

I agree Kathy - don't attribute every behaviour the child has to what they've eaten.

MIL is obsessed with sugar-related behaviour issues. One day the boys, being aged 2 and 4, were quite high-spirited after dinner. MIL says 'It's because you gave them baked beans. It's the sugar'

[Blu]

No, it wasn't a ceoliac test...and DS refused to eat the gluten free pasta, and has been having sandwiches for lunch every day (symptom free - he absolutely is not ceoliac, which I know causes very unpleasant symptoms and failure to thrive).

Damn - so now I am going to have to negotiate what ever the lab sends back!

[pagwatch]

Yes - and with my DS I had to self diagnose as it were. But that was done scrupulously over months. I kept a food dairy. I watched for reactions ( he has very little language so I had to be alert). If I then suspected a food I tried to isolate it and then excluded if fow a couple of weeks before challenging it - by reintroducing it and watching for symptoms.
It was so difficult not least because with my son some of his symptoms would be behavioural and that included self harm. Not something i could take lightly!
I still try and re-introduce foods at times in the hope of expanding his diet.
But always always remembering that on top of everything else some days it is not a stray additive - he really is just being a little shit .

The people who don't really have problems create cynicism and that can make my life so hard. I had a screaming distressed child come home from school one day last year who then had diarrheoa, huge black circles under his eyes and finally fell asleep for 14 hours - because a support teacher really didn't think that a slice of birthday cake could do any harm.
She had clearly thought I was just being silly
( It is written into his IEP now but I still have to remind them)

[OrmIrian]

TBH I've never known an allergy test come up totally negative. They usually show some kind of intolerance to something. A friend of ours had a DD with severe athsma and exczema - she had been very ill indeed as a baby. When she was about 10 they redid her allergy tests and did her older sister for good measure. Both girls showed a wide range of intolerances to everything from lemons to beef. The younger reacted to these triggers with severe symptoms, the older simply didn't in any recognisable way. Having an intolerance to foods doesn't always neccessarily mean that it affects your day to day life.

As an athsmatic who has a real problem with various furry animals and house dust mite, I've always been wary of doing a food intolerance test - just in case it turns out that I can't eat anything except mung beans and soya milk.

[hennipenni]

I can see both sides of this arguement as I have a DD with intolerances. She is intolerant to gluten (not coeliac-has been tested) and I get fed up to the back teeth of having to defend why we don't give her gluten. I have had one parent say "are you sure it's an intolerance and not just a "phase"? or is it because she doesn't want to eat what everyboy else has too?" Well, DD would love to eat what everybody else does but unfortunatly she can't. I got so frustrated with the stupid woman that I offered to ring her inthe middle of the night when she was on her gluten challenge so she could see the exact effect it had on her.

[madamez]

There is also the issue that some parents just expect their every whim to be catered to ie only warning hosts on the doorstep that their PFB can't eat certain things - which applies to people who take up ludicrous faddy diets as well as having imaginary intolerances - 'oooh, nooooo. we only eat sprouted martian beans and ancient egyptian nosehair pasta, the modern western diet is sooooo inappropriate... what do you mean you only have fresh fruit, veg and gluten-free pasta?'

[ratclare]

what is ASD? sorry for being dim ,is it the same as adhd?