To think my new neighbour has over reacted...

[monotata]

I managed to get into my new house a couple of weeks ago. Took a lot to get in with lockdown etc but managed it - had viewed it before lockdown.

It’s a detached house but there’s a shared bit of grass at the front between the houses. Anyway, a couple of days after we moved in, I got the lawnmower out and cut front garden and moved over to the shared grass. As I was cutting it, I noticed the neighbour staring out the window at me.

I Smiled and waved and kind of signalled to him to open the window as I was going to ask him if he wanted me to cut the grass on his side.

Lo and behold the window opens and he screams out the window

“DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY GRASS. I HAVE JUST SCARIFIED IT. DO YOU HEAR ME? WELL DO YOU?!

I’m laughing writing this because he was like a man possessed and I nearly took a fit of the giggles.

My husband had been in the garage and he came out to see what was going on.

I said to the neighbour “no worries, I leave it alone...” Later on we were out the back having a glass of wine and I could hear him speaking to someone perhaps on the phone about the upstart neighbour trying to cut his “recently scarified” grass and how rude I was 😕

Now when I leave the house he glares Out the window and if he’s out the back he humphs about when I go out to hang the washing out.

He is going to be the neighbour from hell, isn’t he?

[picklemewalnuts]

Pop a note through the door asking if there's an existing custom about the lawn. Is it usual to do your own half, do both halves, take it in turns or whatever?

[SWnewstart]

Right, then you can definitely do whatever you wish with your bit of grass - for some reason the neighbour thinks he can tend / use all of the area (maybe the previous owner lady was elderly and couldn't manage it?). He needs to be made aware of your intention to mow / plant bulbs / whatever - but in the nicest possible way of course ! Good luck

[FriteFuaite]

You heard him talking about you? Are the gardens quite close to each other?

[Sittingontheveranda]

My DH scarifies our tiny little lawn and takes it very seriously. Grass should not be mowed until the length of the grass is a certain length. I've never noticed the lawn being much better after being scarified tbh but DH apparently does :).

Given that you are a new neighbour, its worthwhile popping around with some homemade scones, and trying to make friends. Be very humble and apologetic (you don't have to mean it) and at least try to make amends.

Is there a small but visible border at all? Its also worthwhile asking how if he'd ever like you to cut his half of the shared garden, to just run out if he sees you out there and you'd be happy to etc. Remember good fences make good neighbours :).
Congratulations on your new home.

I don't trust my neighbour at all but I'll smile and be pleasant.

[blueshoes]

Humble and apologetic? No way. That is just caving to bullies.

Just be civil, light and ignore his histrionics. Live your best life and he can go to hell with his scarified lawn.

[BrummyMum1]

Neighbourly notes can seem passive aggressive. I would just hold up a banner outside his window saying “I promise to keep my hands off your lawn”.

[Sittingontheveranda]

It isn't about the need to apologise, it is about salvaging some sort of neighbourly relationship. The OP has just moved in. Arguments with neighbours can really damage her experience of living in that house. Its fine to say 'live your best life, he can go to hell' to a computer screen, but she just has to read any of the many many threads about neighbour disputes on MN to see its worth nipping it in the bud as soon as possible before it escalates.

[blueshoes]

There is no need to salvage anything. It was the neighbour who broke the neighbourliness. This business with going round with cakes. That seems so 1950s. He is not a big man to be appeased with a little feminine mystique and baking and simpering. Why put herself in his power and ingratiate herself when he was the idiot.

I am not suggesting being hostile or even cool. Just that OP ignore his toddler tantrum and go about her life. Saying hi and keeping it civil.

Detente, not declaration of war nor appeasement.

[DamnYankee]

I know this is distressing, but it made me laugh!
Did have to look up the difference between aerating and scarifying, though.
Also reminded me of several parts of the book Cold Comfort Farm...They "scranletted" their fields a lot.
He's clearly a curmudgeon.
If you encounter him again, I'd remark on the loveliness of his lawn and don't forget to bat your eyelashes (because he's an old bat!).
Good luck!

[PickAChew]

The lady died....so we were told

Any patches of the grass look suspiciously like freshly laid turf?

[jessstan2]

Does he mean he made holes in his lawn?

He sounds dreadful, if he didn't want you to mow his bit he could have just come out and explained politely.

[SquirtleSquad]

I'd be decorating my half with ALOT of Gnomes

[blueshoes]

I like the idea of gnomes. Maybe you could point them so they all look at his front door.

[Queenest]

My uncle has a scarifier. Weird thing, looks like a roller with a rake on it. Apparently it rips out the weeds. He’s very serious about his lawn. But he’s not a rude shouty man like your new neighbour.

[Justaboy]

Could just causaly ask him what is scarifing and why do you do it as you have never heard of it..

No need for scones and cakes they can come later when you've established he isnt a nutjob!

[TheNestedIf]

If you move in somewhere with a communal garden, it's true you do partially own it and have an equal say in what is done with it.

However it's only polite to have a discussion about maintenance before you go unilaterally messing with existing arrangements. Even if you think the existing arrangements are all wrong.

Because you didn't do this, I do think posters who are encouraging you to antagonise him further aren't being fair, even if he did go over the top.

[Queenest]

Great idea about the gnomes.

[VodselForDinner]

Using weed killer, draw a big cock and balls on your side, angled towards his window.

It’s the only way.

[Queenest]

[j712adrian]

If it’s Vietnam, use Agent Orange.

If it’s West Yorkshire, it’s completely standard behaviour.

[SquirtleSquad]

There are a lot of different avenues you could take with the gnomes

[Dullardmullard]

Watch out for mushrooms

[saleorbouy]

It's quite normal to scarify a lawn while the grass is long and then cut it. Once the moss and dry grass are removed by scarifying it makes no difference. He sounds like one of the precious green lawn brigade, my be go and introduce yourself to cut the ice if he continues to be a pillock then you know not to make any more effort.

[Thisismytimetoshine]

Don't you have any kind of fence or border, op? Two detached houses with a narrow strip of shared grass between them sounds very odd.

[SquirtleSquad]

You could line them up arse facing his house